Sputtered Poems

All's Well That Ends Well

Happy as poop got results of my brain scan
Had a hard time finding it when the scanner began
It sputtered and screeched
Till my bum it did reach
Outta place but “all's WELL that ENDs well” exam

The Dare

Sewing machine, long idle, gathered dust
Cabinets, tables and chairs were old crust.
No mercy was shown on this abandoned place 
No one dared to restore its bygone grace.
At least that's what I saw in the meagre light
Just a candle to explore through the night.
In parts, it was just a mere ugly wreck
To repair it, I needed a million cheques.
The war years seemed like only yesterday
Disgusted I felt like going away.
Who cared about this stupid worthless dare?
Oh Lord, was that a ghost that I saw there?
A model in old style on broken stairs,
In semi-darkness, I just stood scared there.
A light breeze spread quickly, light as a lark
The candle sputtered, spent, and all was dark

A Brain Is Storming

riding on 
  superluminal rafts
the supernatural rapscallions
  descend with
delirious determination  
  into
deceptive diversion
 observing
too many indeterminists
  doing nothing
  with too much time
     on their antennae
 
it's inevitable: 
derived from suffering
 in a brain's
  stormy potential  
 where an abandoned 
shopping cart
transmits
hapless holons
 in a stationary orbit 
 above the bucolic
  neighborhood 

I defiantly deconstruct
  the illusion
of immortality 
  while
 cobwebs
 engulf balconies
   and coffins
    excrete spiders

I/he
  drowned
in the same
 river twice  
after being assured
  that no man is
a tropical island
 in a lost paradise
where the Jovian moons 
  don't shine
 
...so he/I
sputtered & sibilated
in an 
empty frame of
 rambling
  reference

The Impotent Poet

sputtering poetry,
   the impotent poet
      tells me, she was
“…puttering around Pittsburg.”

          potent poetry. perhaps,
        alluring alliteration
      potentially portends
   the winch to wind up
this bucket of water.

         diviner twitches, dips,
      dares to deviate
   direct, dilate.

like a mad scientist, moronic
   not to move these ready-made
      sputters into a test tube, shake
         and let them explode!

an avid, alliterative logophile
   holds the power to possess,
to render the procession of
   spoken word into usefulness.

alert to the prowess of moving lips,
   gears cranking creativity and giddiness,
      glad tidings go on and on, when
sputtered with regards to my sister’s trip.

Spiked Drinks Got Them All So Rolling Drunk

Spiked Drinks Got Them All So Rolling Drunk

Universe spun out of control and died
The planets sputtered out and then fell
The southern boy liked his chicken fried
And preacher's young son rang the old church bell
Hope lost its heart and thus began to cry
The throng laughed away, nobody cared
High sheriff asked, did anybody die
Mike gathered rabbits he had snared
Janet put on blue gown for that night's ball
As her older brother Bill dosed the keg
While white mouse in the corner saw it all
Kelly in miniskirt showed her legs.

Spiked drinks got them all so rolling drunk.
Most f'ed up of all was the local monk.

Robert J. Lindley, Sonnet,
1973

"A prom night to remember"

Santa Fires Most of the Reindeer

We can go faster if we take the magic bike, Rudolph said.
Santa rolled his eyes and the reindeer’s nose got louder red.
We can get rid of the others on the payroll too.
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Blitzen and Vixen to name a few. 

Santa looked at the magic bike. How can if fly far away?
Nothing up my sleeves, Rudolph said. Just trust me, okay?
So Santa signed the contract, and they fired the other deer.
Then he and Rudolph climbed on the bike, full of good cheer.

The bike struggled and stopped and sputtered and kicked.
Santa knew then that he had truly been gloriously tricked.
The other reindeer appeared, and demanded more money.
“As our union rep, they told Rudolph, you are a honey!”

The Nearest Star

For years I searched for the perfect love
like the brightest star in celestial skies above.
Only a few romantic relationships sizzled,
but after a while they sputtered and fizzled.

I looked to the heavens for what I sought
but I found no shining star among the lot.
Each night I watched the black velvet skies
as myriads of stars appeared before my eyes.

Hope of finding one bolder than the rest
left me feeling forlorn and bleak at best.
I gave up thinking that I would ever find
the one for me, but discovered love is blind.

It was only when I stopped desiring so hard
that I found a stellar light near my backyard.
I had no need to go exploring another galaxy
to find the only star that was perfect for me.

Uttered

"Words uttered in anger can weigh heavy on the heart, 
but those uttered in contrition absolves a sorrowful soul."
                                                                       ~ authored by poet
                                                                 
Apologetic words, asking forgiveness were uttered
Each one spoken with apprehension as he stuttered
Absolved from carrying the weight of a heavy heart
His soul was liberated so we could make a new start
  
Romantic words into my ear, he then softly uttered
I felt my lips begin to tremble; my heart fluttered
No longer encumbered by any doubt and concern
since he'd finally declared love for me in return

Tenderly, he held me. Passionate sighs we uttered
The flames of desire burned brighter and sputtered
We kissed as the moon glowed in lucent splendor
My only thought at that moment was, "I surrender"


November 4, 2022
Writing Challenge - Unburden a "U" Word Contest
Sponsored by Constance La France

All's Well That Ends Well

I'm happy as poop, got the results of my brain scan
They had a hard time finding it when the scanner began
It sputtered and screeched
Till my bum it did reach
It's outta place but it's an “all's well that ENDs well” exam

Break-Up

The light in my life has slowly sputtered out
What began as a flinty spark of infatuation,
Flounders in ever-growing feelings of doubt.
First I thought about nothing but the sensations
The warming qualities of your tender embrace,
But now I find myself dreading seeing your face.

Whatever happened from then until now, I fear,
Is the sudden dying of passion born in my lust
Along with the feeling of companionship, dear,
So, with deep regret, I leave you, I simply must.
You see, I have become a hollowed shell inside,
Devoid of those special feelings we once knew
No more longing to make you my life-long bride,
No desire to walk through life with you by my side. 

Written July 1, 2022

Gentle Jimmy Drag Racer Darted In and Out of Danger-

Little Jimmy was a eight-teen-year-old wild teenager
He had a souped-up Dodge Dart and ate day old bagels
At the dark in the park he would race his Dodge Dart
Car went so fast it's sputtered sounds of flagellants-fart 
Baroom-zoom-zooms out here drag racing in out of danger


2/21/22
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr © 2022

October Rains

Rain slipped in 
 sliding on the din 
just passed dark 
 came midnight sparks
before the light of morning sun,
 spits and spats, tips and taps, 
lulls and dulls,
 sputtered mutters culls,
 on the shutters closed, 
clammy, dank, and damp, 
click-clack, stamped, 
 pitter-patter tones,
 on the walk path stones;
soft and harsh, 
wind blowing scowls along the tarps
 glistening glows 
 misting the grassy rows,
October doom looms, 
 harvests wells consumed 
rain falls 
as autumn calls.

A New Word Whizzed By - Nonsense Contest

A new word whizzed by
  just under me nose
It tickled me moustache-hairs
  and teased me toes

Amused and amazed
  I sputtered alive
but that whizzy new word
  bzzzz'ed back to its hive

So I took out me air-horn
  which gave me a shiver ~
Put me moustache-hairs
  and me toes back in me quiver



        September 09, 2021
  Nonsense Rhyme Poetry Contest
      Sponsor: Charles Messina

Kirby's Convention

The vac cleaner's union
          had an annual meet
Electrolux and Oreck,
          and a Bissell and such
And invited one old Kirby
          for a rare vacuum treat:
To talk, (tho' they really
          didn't like him much) ...

That rusty old Kirby
          had a lesson to teach
To all the new vacuum
          cleaners on the line
But he wasn't sure he
          had the air to reach
The shiny-nice Dysons,
          that looked so fine ...

He sputtered and choked
          and spun his tires
And his worn HEPA filter
          had started to sag ...
They mocked his pace
          and his twisted wires
And laughed at his grip
          and his wrinkled bag ...

Yet he stood up tall like
          a good Kirby should
And cleaning his way
          up that ramp to speak
Worried his message
          might not be very good
For his worn, limp hose
          had a sad, sorry leak ...

     Still ...

The old vacuum cleaner
          then addressed his own
Battered and beaten,
          and down on his luck
“I'm headed to that rug
          in the great unknown ...
So please carry on -
          'cuz you really do suck!"

Katie O Dale St Paddys Day Plotter

St Pattys Day Limerick  L. Milton Hankins

Twas in his cups, drinking bitter ale.
His name McGonahill, first name Kale.
Irish girl gave him wink
He sputtered came up pink
A big plotter, Miss Katie O’Dale.

She would make him a respectable sort.
His friend Collum laughed, gave a little snort.
She gave him the eye too
Super good Irish shrew
On Patty’s Day they all three now cavort. 

There’s a set of twins that now hang with them.
Names Paddy and Leprechaun Shawn McFinn. 
We watch but do not stare
Drink green beer without a care
In McGongill’s Boar Tavern, oh, so grim.

Contest: St Pattys Day Limerick  
Sponsor:  L. Milton Hankins
Written 2/28/2021

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