Snickered Poems | Examples

can you please get me out of here

mermaid wrested her breasts on the edge of the dish
Her powerful tail gave one tremendous swish
Be open to new people, her inner voice said.
Who are you? Mermaid asked, fluffing her hair of red.
Little girl carrying calico kitten stiffly walked by.
Can you please get me out of here? Mermaid asked, her head held high.
The little girl snickered and the cat gave a sniff.
They rolled their eyes as if to say “as if”….

why is she knitting a nest

But why is she knitting a nest? We asked each other.
We knew the old bird was too old to become a mother.
The bird sat quietly with knitting needles clicking away.
She liked it when she confused us on a rainy Tuesday.

It was really a scarf, but she said nest to get us talking.
We are a chattery bunch, and soon were squawking.
Arguments ensued, and hens began pecking each other.
She snickered to herself, and so did rooster, her brother.

Rudolph gets Sued for Money

Our reindeer were all in a tizzy for they had been served.
Anyway, Rudolph had, with vigor as he flew in and swerved.
The process server said “my apologies” but he snickered a bit.
Apparently some old grouch on earth is now having a fit.

Claiming that Rudolph’s powerful nose blinded him for five weeks.
The claimant is totally unreasonable, it is big money he seeks.
How did he write the letter? Find the lawyer’s office? Asked Santa.
Rudolph was trying not to think of it, concentrating on his banana.

Yeah, said Blitzen. How dumb does this guy think we is?
Donner did not care, he ran off to yellow up snow with his whizz.
Dasher tried to give Rudolph some advice, but he always says things wrong.
I know said Dancer, let’s pretend it did not happen and have a tiny song.

So the reindeer created a Christmas song right there, on the spot.
And it was a hit around the world, so the greedy guy did get a lot.
But Rudolph decided to forever more wear a tight cover on his nose
For going to court truly is not comfortable, it “sort of blows”.

Walter

She stares into the casket
open, not what he wanted,
but she did, even more now.
“Stiffer than he’s ever been.”
she snickered, silent, unheard.
“O M F G thirty years;
look at you in your blazer
and that idiotic badge;”
she toasted, raising a glass
of cola and single malt
discovered upon finding
the “mislaid” Tantalus key.
“I bet you’ll never guess where
your model steam engine is?”
She whispered into his ear,
“Oh, once more into the breach,”
she laughed and knowingly winked.
“Nothing to say, no repost?”
“Not a cutting, hurtful quip?”
“you’re dead, you say. Can’t answer.”

“I was dead for thirty years!”

Potato

This potato today I sat down to eat
Was not the spud I expected to meet
It seemed to be a tad bit dry
A red one it seemed it each of its eye
I couldn't quite tell how it was cooked
With a rumbling tum, closer I looked
Lightly seasoned with oregano 
Was it mashed? Then I realized, no
I thought briefly, potato salad?
That theory didn't seem too valid
Between the beans and it, there was a void 
As if my potato was being paranoid
Then I thought maybe it was roasted
Looking closer I see it was toasted
It snickered as my belly ached
Turns out this potato was very baked

Red Moon Rising

The total lunar eclipse boasted hues of red
in the evening over the fields just ahead.
She looked down from her sky high perch
and saw scenes of life from Mother Earth.
Vultures flew in circles round and round,
because a carcass of a raccoon was found.
Then from a hollow log in the field of green grass,
a bunny peaked its nose up high and let out gas.
A dragonfly landed on the back of a stray dog,
while he was hiding his bone in a log.
Yes, the red moon caught a glimpse of land,
then snickered because she was the star of the sky grand.

Vampire Sonnets Xxv Amethyst Sky

I met the vampire just as the Sun set 
this would be an adventure I just bet;
Fable was already waiting for me 
she said ‘This is the start of your journey.

Now how do you think that this will begin?’
‘Well’ I said ‘Maybe I just count to ten.’ 
I smirked as she  just stood there quietly; 
Being hateful was fun undoubtedly;

‘There is a little more to it than that.’
Fable snickered ‘Please do not be a brat.’
‘Now come to me and hop into a sprint.
Pardon the pun but fly up and wing it.’

Into a run and suddenly flew high,
I took off into the amethyst sky.

Who Needs Flour

Flour, who needs it?
I do! The cupcakes yell.
And me! Agreed the pie crust.
Me! Hollered brownies.
Me! Me! Me! The chili screamed.

Why do you need flour? Questioned the tomatoes.
The other soups snickered.
We all have to have flour for thickening, silly!
This was said by Potato Soup who is always a bit snotty.

I have to have flour! Said the cupboard.
I remember the time I did not have it
And my door got kicked really hard.
I remember that day! Yelled the canister set.

“I tell you, this screaming is coming from the kitchen.”
The kitchen door opened and the humans came in.
There was silence.

Olive Oil Gets Something Off Her Chest

For Donald Trump did Popeye vote
  Olive Oil squealed, "Why, you old goat!"
    Trump is not the best
    Called me, 'Ms. Flat Breasts'
  Popeye snickered, "Olive, don't gloat."

The Tarot Death Card

The soothsayer turned over the death card.
The old guy who claimed he did not believe nearly died.
Clutched his heart, began having palpitations.
It does not mean a human death, she told him.
It means the death of one concept, to give life to another.
You mean like the death of a job, so I can have a better one?
Exactly.
He stopped clutching his heart.
But it was too late.
His wife now knew that he did believe in soothsayers and tarot cards.
She snickered, because she always suspected this.

Ralphie the Refrigerator

Ralphie is angry today the woman told her man.
How do you know?
He has frozen the carrots and the peas.
He cannot turn himself up, the man argued.
Ralphie snickered, knowing that he can, and he does.
He is no ordinary, everyday common refrigerator.

Prissy Wedding Invite Gets a Schooling

Inspired by a paperclip, the pen began to write
The clip danced a mean tango with a errant fork.
They were showing the room the time of their lives
When stapler began to click-clack, vying for attention

How do you do that without a hand? I asked stapler.
Sassy stapler smiled, thrilled he had gotten my attention.
It was a fantastic day in the land of the desk top.
We were enjoying the comforting click of the clock.

Then everyone began shouting and shrieking at once.
Seconds before the hand tossed over a large chocolate milk
Spoiling the mood of two notebooks and a wedding invitation.
I snickered at the invite’s distress; she had been gloating.

Now I Have Heard Everything

Let me tell you about my unique situation she said.
Another woman at the table snickered.
I was married; and my husband had an affair.
He left me and the baby when the baby was two

He has never married the woman, but he lives in her basement.
My son stays with him every other week.
His girlfriend tells me how to raise my son.
She has two daughters.
She and her daughters live upstairs with her husband.

I know my eyes start to fall out of my head at this point.
I repeat some of this thinking I have heard it wrong.
I have heard it right.
So now, I have possibly heard everything.

Gee Whizz Lady

When I let one loose in the elevator,
I tried holding, but the gas had been greater.
Spreading in age, I couldn’t blame for later,
Every step I took, my body a traitor.

Three young man that were next to me,
Were trying to be respectful. One fell to his knees
Pinched his nose; Gee Whizz, Lady! Snickered tee-hee.
The doors flew opened, they buzzed out like bees.

8/1/2021


When I Let One Loose In The Elevator Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: charles messina

Zipper

the zipper catches my dreams in agony again
I wake up
the cruel steel slicing my soft skin
i am awak next to this hairy finger
stabs me pulling against my secret 
i cryout looking at the wood ppaneling
oops he says
its is an accident in the halway between dreams between rooms
between im and I
I don undrstand why I am not supposed to look at mine.
not to look at mom is a sin 
to tell the truth is a skinned shin
I'm not old enough to ride the zipper
Im snickered once again
today im old enough, no mor potato sacks but I cannot play sax
I'm not lisa to day
who is lisay
comon she says
lets ride the zipper anyways
here we are again and today it is my skin.
or is it sin I wonder.
its ok to be a mermaid she says
its ok to get wet

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