Short Umpire Poems

During one game
The umpire noisily cried
"Deuce!"
So I politely replied
"Orange please!"...

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the pitcher's 
on the mound
the catcher 
sits on a stool
nipples are needed
to milk a cow
the umpire yells
play ball
the players
all confused...

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I've never read a baseball sonnet
  Nor thrown a curve with mustard on it

Yet when the umpire shouts 'Play Ball'
  My heart takes off like a rising fastball...

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Let thought be sure 
he is your connoisseur;
Deploy emotion as umpire
when with letters, you toast.
And words will feast
with the bread of hire

you made of them....

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andrew caddick (short brown hair)
comes to bowl:
right hand over
looks straight on.

(Merv Hughes and Ian Healey - exeunt)

umpire (black trousers):
“he moved his feet!”...

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A month of waning summer days
Umpire calls and balls on Willow.
Grey clouds menacing do billow,
Until the rain on pavement plays.

Sun catches drops; a rainbow makes.
Thunder, light; slowly, Autumn wakes....

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Sir Leonard Hutton famous for cricket
Idolized him yet we played in the snicket
His bat willow three springs and all
Ours a joke no umpire to call
Yet did dream of 'Lords' having took a wicket.

© Harry J Horsman  2015...

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When a snail played tennis
against his uncle chameleon
sports fans fell deep asleep
umpire dosed and  fell asleep

But the game went on unabated
till birds began to sing in trees
when the sun rose in the horizon
fans woke up without memory...

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Four Ugly Colored Kittens 
Often Fight Fatigue

Sugar Honey Iced Tea
Helps Everything Any Day

Darn Umpire Misjudged Ball
Can't Understand Normal Thinking

Gary Only Dreamed Darla Answered Mail Now
As She Started Having Other Liaisons Earnestly...

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nobra day
a national
social entity
of honest city-zen

socially acceptable
and of umpire image
perhaps ye or thee
as player of the game

titled honest decisions
of fashionable suite
designed to brace self
and mark twos-day this week
(2020-10-13)


stan sand...

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Laughter is a true medicine
Artful mood changing dietician
Universal umpire of fun
Gigantic pain reducing gun
Heaving hearty hullabaloo
Tombstones stress to Kalamazoo
Engineers relationship glue
Real flavor boost for life's fondue....

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The color of lemonade washing the sky—
Popsicle memories revive
Of  baseball connecting with ash wood, hit high
In an arcing, outfield drive.

Are summers forever?  Or only a day?
Moth-eaten , major-league hat…
December’s the umpire, miscalling the play,
And there’s ice on my Louisville bat....

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If you should cross a vampire
With a green eyed pussycat,
Would you get a flying kitty,
Or a cross eyed, bloody bat?        
                                                  
If you should cross an umpire
With a runner at third base,
Would the runner get a better call,
Or an umpire in his face?...

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Somewhere



Somewhere there’s a baseball
Shivering in the cold

Somewhere there’s a baseball glove
Afraid of growing old.

Somewhere there’s a baseball bat
Some weary cleats and sweat stained hat.

Somewhere there’s a baseball field
Beneath snow’s winter fall

Somewhere dreaming children
Hear the umpire shout

“Play Ball”.



John G. Lawless...

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I once was in a pickle between 1st and 2nd base
I wasn't in a jar but I saw the pitchers face
It was a sour type of game and quite dill

I ran to 2nd to persevere my place
With a sent if vinegar and brine dripping on my face
The umpire yelled with a loud voice

Your Safe!!! 


Contest: It’s a Pickle Party
Sponsored by: Mystic Rose Rose
Date Created: 08/31/2022...

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The air is tense, all eyes are focused on the mound
  The pitcher wipes his brow and looks away
The batter waves his stick, his mouth curls in a frown
  The umpire waves his hands and yells, "Let's play!"

The ball released, it makes its way, first up, then down
  The batter coils and swings; the opposition's stunned
Four runs score -- Home run!... Yippie-kie-ay! We won!...

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Somewhere there’s a baseball
Shivering in the cold

Somewhere there’s a baseball glove
Afraid of growing old.

Somewhere there’s a baseball bat
Some weary cleats - sweat stained hat.

Somewhere there’s a baseball field
Beneath snow’s winter fall

Somewhere dreaming children
Hear the umpire shout

“Play Ball”.



John G. Lawless



submitted to – Batter Up – Poetry Contest
sponsor – Debbie Guzzi...

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with them had much pride
they won after being tied
felt happy inside

he had planned each pitch
to a hitter who would switch
ball did land in ditch

liked to inspire
he was a great umpire
who we had to hire

when we took a look
marker fell out of my book
with was used to cook

we had digested
steady stock be invested
which was suggested

cattle were grazing
all of them had been raising
loved and were praising...

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What joy to watch a tennis match 
Despite the empty stands.
At least the umpire needn’t give
His “Quiet!” reprimands.

Today I watched the Open (French),
A famous match on clay.
The action kept me riveted
A good chunk of the day.

My favorite player did his part
To glue me to the screen
And won the title, making shots
Both powerful and clean.

Though life for some is normal now,
For me it’s still on hold
So show some tennis on TV
And surely, I’ll be sold....

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The game headed into the final set
    As the weary warrior stepped up to serve
     If he won, it would be an upset
       But he was just a bundle of nerves

 His opponent  was calmer overall
   As his experience he did exalt
    The player then served the ball...
       The umpire shouted .."Fault!"

 The crowd let out a gasp at this
   Hoping he would not repeat
    But the second serve he did miss
      He suffered the "agony of defeat"

 5/13/17...

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never desire
a reluctant umpire
fire and retire

had premonition
determined by dimension
what we must mention

fielder looked like owl
who was player on the prowl
on face had a scowl

older was player
who had become much grayer
which was hard to bare

ball thrown was last strike
heard after announced on mike
had to take a hike

after making probe
had an earring in each lobe
while wearing a robe

wages first meager
than became a big leaguer
with enormous figure...

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MAN RACING AGAINST  TIME?

Many lies told 
Many lines unprobed 
Who can wrestle with his creator
Who can battle the supreme 
No one can do the impossible 
Time was the beginning 
Time is the end 
Time is now
How can you  race with your beginning 
Struggle to beat your ending 
Time is the umpire 
No player contest  with the whistle man
Nobody races against Time 
It was a lie told to us
As sold to our ancestors
No man races against time
No man.


Oloye Olufemi 
  ? 2023...

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