Short Spoof Poems

I ain't gonna walk no more, no more
I ain't gonna walk no more
Got in a wreck and broke my neck
I ain't gonna walk no more....

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Electoral College is proof
Many have grown long in the tooth.
Some votes do not count.
Hurt feelings soon mount.
Democracy is our big spoof....

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We hear her mutter,
To cover the "flutter".
What a spoof,
We heard the "poof".
Such a hoot,
When she "toots".
And it never ever stinks!
We know it, "wink, wink, wink."...

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I heard loud noises up on the roof,
It isn’t reindeer, it must be a spoof.
From my lounger I took a hop,
And ran outside to look up top.
It was hailing, I felt like a goof....

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Coarse and contrived
Sterilized pride
Deaden

Absent and aloof
Formalized spoof
Leaden

Surly and wry
Hostilities nigh
Redden

Distrust and dissent 
Predestined event
Armageddon...

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Sung very loud:

Wouldn't you like a ride on my beautiful cigar
Wouldn't you like to glide in my beautiful cigar
We could float among the puffs together, you and me
Cuz we got fleas, we got fleas....

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In the night came a thud on our roof
Seems the rock in a sock was a spoof
A young kid had some fun,
My Dad got out his gun
And the kid running home was the proof.

Written March 30, 2022...

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Surely it does... but don't call me Shirley
“Airplane” a rapid-fire spoof, you remember surely
Leslie Nielsen was the pilot
A real sexual joke pileup 
A riot for the time, a hit with this comedic jury...

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Baby shark, voh dee oh doh
Baby shark, voh dee oh doh
Baby shark, voh dee oh doh
Baby shark, voh dee oh doh

Momma shark, voh dee oh doh
Momma shark, voh dee oh doh
Momma shark, voh dee oh doh
Momma shark, voh dee oh doh....

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Bosom best-buddy Beta Beta Beta boys begin bonding by bringing before biennial brunches: 

bouncier basketballs

budget bean burritos

bounteous beefy burgers

beautiful broad-minded busty boyfriend-less babes 

better bottled Bavarian/Belgian beers...

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T'was Christmas eve I summoned Santa for some proof
When sitting tuqued in bed I saw the cutest spoof



AP: Honorable Mention 2022

Submitted on December 17, 2018 for contest A CUTE CHRISTMAS COUPLET (IN RHYME) sponsored by ANDREA DIETRICH  -  RANKED 5TH...

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Oh my word, another written spoof
about a fine poet who needs no reproof.
Yes, he writes with finesse, style and grace.
Is that green jealousy I see on your face?
Why must you bark at him,  WOOF WOOF
and make yourself look like such a silly goof?...

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"Shine my boots, wench!" Larry said
"Fetch my wine and cheese and bread!
Tidy up my murphy bed! 
Feed the hog and Mr. Ed!
Corn mash for Rhode Island Red!
Why look so gobsmacked by dread?
Did you not say I thee wed?"
"Oh, I said it, until dead"
I confessed, then bashed his head....

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Sounds of icy fingers tapping my roof
Like rhythmic drumming on a snare
Mother Nature enjoys a gentle spoof
Sounds of icy fingers tapping my roof
Thank God, the ceiling is weatherproof
Against such as this persistent fanfare
Sounds of icy fingers tapping my roof
Like rhythmic drumming on a snare.

written February 26, 2022...

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“Beyond Reason”

Myth and reality,
The language of dreams,
A vision of god
Wrapped in creation scenes.
Myth and reality,
A visceral truth,
Unified dogma
A centrifugal spoof.
Scattered and atomized
Mankind searches
For an integrating structure
Bestowing meaning and purpose.
Methodological limitations
Chasten and humble.
In the final analysis
Ideologies crumble....

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Impossible to not remember
Preserve thoughts in precious amber
Promise that you feel it too
Do you feel it when I think of you?
A matter of proficiency
Tidal collision where oceans meet
Can't define real from spoof
Ignites already flaming truths
Mistook the flame you burnt for me
As a bonfire for my dignity
Erodes and weathers, faded grandeur
Just how much can a heart endure?...

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yes he is happy
of course he is happy
because trees have fruit
that needed heat
the wind is strong but it's hot
he walks happily on the peat
there's a smile that waits on the couch
in that chimera heart house.
all steps converge in infinity
and plummet into the illuminated parallel
this is not a spell or spoof
look t the round and yellow fat sun
he drips light exposing gold on the roof....

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Pardon me friends, just having a little fun. Borrowing words and style from two fun guys. Mixing in a bit of political spoof. Have a great day!

A LITTLE BIT OF WOLF AND HAPPY JACK

I’m not a heavy thinker
nor a heavy drinker.

The feather it floats
unless it sinks.

I’m not the house speaker
nor a cacophonous leaker

and

Depends must be worn
for the politician’s thorns,

their sweet bippies
entangled with their lippies.

I’ll leave it at that!

8/5/2022...

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To affirm a show has made it,
More than ticket sales, the proof
Can be found if it is parodied
And pops up in a spoof.

For it’s fun to poke some fun at
Those performances so big
All the audience will recognize
The actor and the gig.

It’s the price of fame and fortune,
For success bestows the right
To exaggerate one’s attributes
And take a mocking bite.

While the viewers grin, the targets
Of the spoof have the last laugh,
For the public still will clamber
To receive their autograph....

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HEY HEY HEY
No more fears
How long was I out there
Try 75 years.
Drifting alone
In the depths of space
Far from earth
And the human race.
Your lucky to be here
To tell you the truth
Cos I ain't joking
Cos this ain't no spoof.
The ship that found you
Way out there
Could have passed you bye
Without a care.
Alot has changed
Since you've been gone
For the material of time
You've been torn.
So it's welcome back
I could say
For the dawn of your new life
It starts today....

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The powers-that-be wanted proof
That I am alive – not a spoof!
In the mail came a form,
Which I guess is the norm;
To ignore it, my checks would go poof!

I submitted a photo I.D.
With my signature plain as can be
But they also required
Proof I haven’t expired,
So I sent a new picture of me.

In the image, I’m holding, for views,
Today’s Times, but it’s not for the news.
Since the date can be read,
There’s the proof I’m not dead,
Though my wrinkles they’ll have to excuse....

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