Short Slammer Poems

A young lady from Lillehammer
Was wont to consort with a scammer
No one could stop’em
Until the cops caught’em
And now they reside in the slammer...

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There once was a slammer on Soup
True poetry forms threw him for a loop
Grammar was abused
Lower-case letters were used
No other poets could the slammer dupe...

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Max Mason operated a jackhammer
in a reckless and dangerous manner.
He made threats with the machine
until a sheriff came on the scene:
Max and hammer are in a slammer....

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The jury said the defendant was guilty
So the judge ruled 30 days in the klinky
If you visit the slammer
He'll be in his perjammers
Playing a wee tune on his dinghy...

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Single mistakes can be costly,
Surely a statement made falsely
Will get you time in the slammer
And create lots of loud clamor,
So never enter a false plea.

written July 3, 2021...

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Jazzing around,
the black humming bee
swings along with the strings

Fiddles, guitars
in the piano bars
keeping a-slamming the floor

The music is growing
from under the feet
of the Dancer:

THE BEAT!...

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The jury said the defendant was guilty
So the judge ruled 30 days in the klinky
If you visit the slammer
He'll be in pyjammers
Playing a wee tune on his dinghy


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Canadian since birth shouldn't really matter
The loony down south needs a life in the slammer
What are they waiting for
Throw him out the door 
Lock him up before more laws he can fracture...

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A Canadian since birth so it shouldn't matter
But the loonie down south deserves life in the slammer
What are they waiting for
He's a festering sore 
Lock him up before more laws he can fracture ...

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Driver Leon Humphrey
Upset at his traffic ticket
Demanded a trial by combat
Said the DMV could pick it
Samuair sword or Ginzu knife
Or even a heavy hammer
Despite Humphrey's plea
It was not meant to be
And the judge sent him off to the slammer...

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An Unwashed Handkerchief

Stanky 
Hanky

Prison Noise

Slammer
clamor

Construction Noise

Hammer
Clamor

Bad English

Gringo 
Lingo

Seen in the Buff

Granny
Fanny

April 20, 2022
For A Brian Strand Premiere Choice Poetry Contest...

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1. Walls of Jericho:
Giddy
City
 

2. Moses:
Hopper
Stopper


3. The Egyptians:
Water
Fodder


4. Jael:
Hammer 
Slammer


5. Sampson:
Pillar
Killer


6. Laban:
Fuzzin'
Cousin


References: 
1. Joshua 6:20
2. Exodus 10:17-19
3. Exodus 14:28
4. Judges 4:21
5. Judges 16:29-30
6. Genesis 31:41

Written July 2d and 3d, 2013...

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Stricken by the yammer, 
I decided to leave. 			
I'd rather be in 'The Slammer' 
as he'd never drop to one knee' 

I love you, I do,
but you must not pretend- 
I am nothing, for you!
You know I don't contend!

So explain why you do this- 
Why did I ever believe,
I could ever be your fair Miss?
Why couldn't YOU simply leave?...

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The sound of anger is a silent one,
Don’t you know?
A deaf tone ringing, Vibrating then nothing 
An alliteration of explosive hollow emotions
 Replete with intoxicating truths

Words exchanged broke these smiles 
But are meaningless before doors slam 
Slamee or slammer does it matter?
For after these doors slam
We say what we mean


Ronny Madonsela 22/09/2012...

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Clyde Clark
In park

Was boozy
Real doozy

Did pee
On tree

Broke law
Cop saw

Tied hands
With bands

To jail
Sans bail

Called spouse
"You souse"

Said she
To he

"Stay there
Don't care"

(Later before the judge)
"Where ere you be let your water flow free", was Clyde's creative defense.
Ha! Ha! grinned the judge! "Thirty days in the slammer for this offense!"...

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up&around 
     creeps virginia
midst boston's ivy

where
    oregon grapes
             mahonia

above
  idaho grass 
          blue-eyed 
                   
in a texas 
           dawn
&coloured
    new hampshire
                 purple
 a 
      alabama slammer
                        canna 
              wyoming
up the 
       arizona cypress
fuchsia california
shading 
  colorado
            tansyasters...

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"Tom, Tom the piper's son
Stole a pig and away he run.
The pig was eat,
And Tom was beat,
And Tom went crying down the street."

Now, this rhyme,
For a reader,
Offers minimal relief
As to who ate the pig
Or who chastised the thief.

And why Tom was punished
When his dad wasn't able
To pipe well enough
To put food on the table?

I can only hope that the author
Wound up in the slammer
For promoting delinquency,
Child abuse…
And really bad grammar!
...

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