Short Shat Poems

"chat or chien"


i don't give
a shat but

you have
a good

watch
dog in 

that 
cat...

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Wildlife 24

A chirpy and suave young blue tit
Perched on a branch for a bit
Down below sat a cat
So the bluebird just shat
And the cat threw a terrible fit!...

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Bat flippin’ shat crazy
Don’t say maybe
You plucked the thorn
My clarion of clarity

Bent no LSD
Sing my fine canary
Walked the water’s edge
To wander water's over...

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My neighbour Cath visited me
cat followed, but Cath did not see
puss piddled then shat
on my Persian mat
it was a true catastrophe!

FICTION POEM

03/14/21...

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There are many ways to say it,
but shat is so vital for the thriving
of all life.

The dung beetle is the hard-working poet
of the world.

Every day it writes its labor of love
upon the hot sands,

Yet no one notices,
and nobody gives a shat anyway....

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Cat locked out in the rain

Soggy 
Moggy

Cat uses litter tray

Tiddles
Piddles

Cat didn’t use litter tray

Cat shat
On mat


Cat wouldn't eat the new cat food

Fussy
Pussy...

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Pooicide 
Fungle sneze 
Fitched in a dish 
Shat in a dish 
So says he with the dick in hand
Shredding skin as fast as one can 
Blazing that shaft into the billowing shreds 
Leaving his head as swirling reds
Popping up and down
Apple cobbler 
Yummy, said he 
With a dick as big as he...

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There’s nowt so canny and nowt so deep 
As the musings of the highland sheep
They’ll talk of this and talk of that 
Of what they ate and where they shat
Or ponder on life’s mysteries 
Like, is the grass beneath the trees
Much finer than the one that grows 
Down beside the old hedgerows


© John W Fenn  18-09-2009...

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There’s nowt so canny and nowt so deep 
As the musings of the highland sheep
They’ll talk of this and talk of that 
Of what they ate and where they shat
Or ponder on life’s mysteries 
Like, is the grass beneath the trees
Much finer than the stuff that grows 
Down beside the old hedgerows


© John W Fenn  18-09-2009...

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I went up to the rail for the wine;
my mouth was dry
and I thought: Why not?

Later, a pigeon shat
on my new J. C. Penny suit.
I tried to rub the mess away
 but it just spread the more.

When my mother saw that ruined jacket
she angrily showed be 
the back of her hair brush.

That was my last drop of Christ’s blood....

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As Shat brought the blues around
You could feel it in the air
You could cut it with a knife
He didn't even care

As Shat sang the blues all day
You could hear him moaning long
You could hear him howling at the moon
You could hear him sing his song

As Shat kicked the can all night 
He kicked it to the sky
He kicked it to the stars and back
And didn't even cry...

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Bird shat on my car
Spent afternoon at car wash
Bird followed me home


Playing poker now
Everyone reading my face
My wager; all in


Having a small pair
Pushing in an all in bet
River hit; awesome


Scoring my dog food
My spot playing hide and seek
Enjoying my nod


I grind for hours
Rowing against bad rivers
Good cards; finally


Alone in the dark
To adore and love oneself
Thank stars for lotion...

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No tray
Today!

‘Tiddles’
Piddles

On floor
By door

Cat shat
On mat!

Squitty
Kitty!

Owner
moaner

Cleans mess..
Distress

Cat ill
Got chill

Sees vet
Named Bret

Treats puss
No fuss

Huge bill
For Pill

Cat well
All’s swell

Your Choice Max 333 Words Poetry Contest- The sponsor says she has a short attention span so I made it as short as possible!

Sponsored by Caren Krutsinger

9/8/19...

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Don’t it make you feel like a no life, enslaved sap?,
To follow your dog around
As he looks for a place to crap?

And if that’s not enough, oh my aching word,
You follow him back home toting his turd!

Just one more rhyme and then I’m through.
Who is the leash for ….. the dog or you?
Okay I lied about the rhymes; there’s two..

As a matter of fact, I’d rather care for a cat,
They cover it themselves once they’ve shat.


Inspired by people /pet watching in an association....

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My husband said my pants had schmutz 
Perhaps from when I sat
Upon a bench with residue
From when a pigeon shat.

For anyone who doesn’t know
The word or else its meaning,
It’s Yiddish and it translates to
Some dirt requiring cleaning.

You can have schmutz on clothes
Or even schmutz upon your face.
A floor with lots of schmutz might be
Considered a disgrace.

Just listen to the sound of “schmutz” -
It’s plain its definition
Reflects a negativity 
In some nearby condition....

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