Short Ritz Poems

they have ruffled edges
yet they are still round
Ritz crackers, a tasty delight
with peanut butter and jelly...

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Savory taste!
Cheddar-cheese in jar,
Crunchy Ritz crackers dancing in my mouth,
Cold bottle of Cola 
Adieu!

                12-20-20...

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Fancy woman in a pink sequined hat
With a feathered boa fluffy and fat,
Putting on the ritz
For a guy named Fritz
Who made money with a ball and bat...

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Putin on the ritz -
He’s crackers,
Without pizzazz,
the cheese.

Without Putin -
Ukranians ease,
Seize the day,
Say, “Yes, please,” -
to better reality.

12/6/2022...

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Dried Poultry

Turkey 
Jerky

Moldy Hostess Treat

Stinky
Twinkie

Ritz Lover

Cracker
Snacker

When Fruits Dance

Mango
Tango

Gerber's Strained Peas

Easy
Peas y

April 2, 2022 for A Brian Strand Standard Poetry Contest...

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Out on the town
Getting on down
Acting the clown -
Puttin on the ritz

Wedding invite
Don’t dress too bright
Girdle’s too tight -
Puttin on the ritz

Drunk at the Wake
Fell in the lake
‘twas a mistake -
Puttin on the ritz

Bill Lindsay
08/01/15...

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Looking for your twinkling eyes,
I found instead a huge surprise - 
eyes like olive pits 

A fishy smile beneath those eyes,
grey grimace that you can’t disguise-
sardine on a Ritz!

(just Andrea and i playing around with that tail-
rhyme form I am first stanza; She is second.)...

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Looking for your twinkling eyes,
I found instead a huge surprise - 
eyes like olive pits 

A fishy smile beneath those eyes,
grey grimace that you can’t disguise-
sardine on a Ritz!

(just Susan and i playing around with that tail-
rhyme form She is first stanza; I am second.)...

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Scrambling down to Cracker Town
I’ll have a Ritz, a salt, a round.
Can I come too? Asked a blue tick hound.
If you promise to not make a sound.

Triscuits followed us all along the way.
Wheat thins so jumpy, they could not stay.
Had no idea what else we might see.
Butter, peanut butter, cheese spread, and me....

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Unstylish twin brothers, the Fritzes

were gluing on crackers (in bitses)!

Were they nuts in the head?

When we asked them, they said,

“We’re just trying to put on the Ritzes!”


Written in Sept. 2015 
Inspired by Judy Kono's Puttin' on the Ritz Poetry Contest
For Brian Strand's All Yours (May 25) Poetry Contest...

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'Ritz Tower, Night' 1920's      Painted by Georgia O'Keefe




They closed the day behind them, and scurried to the hive
Inside a honeycomb of cells, a filing cabinet filled of lives
The night in black and blue enshrouds the city's tallest mast
As evening beckoned heads to rest, with yellow window glass
That overlooks the narrow streets, from a tower of the past



For Brian Strand's contest: Five Line Ekphrasis...

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Susie slipped bits of food into her apron pockets.
Ran down to the pond, with her prettiest lockets.
Showed the baby ducks her loot, crackers and stuff.
She likes animals so well said her Grandma Luff.

The ducks liked her too, they surrounded her each time.
Knowing they would get food, a pat and a friendly rhyme.
Susie had Ritz crackers today, a huge amazing tasty treat.
I love this two-legged being said a duck named Reet....

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The vendors on the corners
Popped up everywhere like weeds,
With all that glitzy New Year’s stuff
That everybody needs:

The sparkly light-up glasses
Flashing 2014;
The groggers, horns and necklaces
To jazz the New Year scene.

The hats displayed are every type,
In felt or neon plastic – 
Derby and Fedora,
Even top hats, quite fantastic.

Festivity’s contagious
And for puttin’ on the Ritz
To welcome in the brand-new year,
You’ve gotta have some glitz!...

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I had heard of a gingerbread house, but a gingerbread mouse?
This story was told to me by a liar, a scoundrel, a louse.
The gingerbread mouse was living in a cracker box – Ritz.
If anyone shook it, he would come out and have many fits.

He was determined to stay in there until Christmas day.
But the chili-eating family kept scooting the crackers away.
They had been his hiding place, and he was angry at them.
He bit one of their fingers on Tuesday, a kid name of Jim....

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The Clampetts

Whoever is in charge must be a louse.
We’ve had to resort to frozen grouse.
And canned caviar just don’t git, 
the pallet lit up like it should be lit.
Been a whoppin’ change at the white house.

By doggie, This recession gives me the fits.
I’m goin’ back to hog maw and grits,
molasses on the side with a slab of ham.
By golly that’s more who I am.
Add a slice of fried corn bread, I’m at the Ritz.

© Jun 10 2010 placed 4 th in economic woe contest...

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