A Huge Surprise - Collaboration With Andrea Dietrich

Looking for your twinkling eyes,
I found instead a huge surprise - 
eyes like olive pits 

A fishy smile beneath those eyes,
grey grimace that you can’t disguise-
sardine on a Ritz!

(just Andrea and i playing around with that tail-
rhyme form I am first stanza; She is second.)

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 9/19/2011 12:32:00 PM
A very nice collaboration. You and Andrea did wonderfully well. Cheers
Login to Reply
Date: 8/11/2011 9:33:00 PM
gosh, I just saw how you used my name on the title. that was sure sweet of you. I am afraid to try to do anything right now. Have you noticed that if you try to go to soupmail or blogs, you get system error? I sure hope I can at least make comments here tonight. I have lots of catching up to do!! I'll have to thank Dr. Ram for my win over at his poems. CAn you get onto the blogs? I think we'lll have to do mails outside of Soup, FFF. haha. What a name. I bet you are not fat. And I'm just fluffy!
Login to Reply
Date: 8/10/2011 12:16:00 PM
nicely done ladies.. this gave me a good chuckle cory
Login to Reply
Date: 8/10/2011 11:35:00 AM
Really cute Susan. You two did a fine job. It really made me smile. God Bless, JB
Login to Reply
Date: 8/10/2011 2:48:00 AM
This is so funny..I love it...jo
Login to Reply
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter
Hide Ad