Short Pain In The Ass Poems

Jim Steneson had a problem with gas
without warning he'd let out a blast.
The stink was obscene
folks escaped the scene
and denounced Jim as a pain in the ass....

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Unwanted love, like constipation, a pain in the ass
It will upset you for many days 
Once dumped, system cleared, the trouble will pass
You’ll be able to go your separate ways...

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You were a pain in the ass in life
You are a pain in the ass in death
I still resent you for causing so much pain to the people I love
Yet how to be mad at someone with mental illness?
No one wants to talk about it...

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Great literary treat
From Ernest Hemmingroid
No Pillsbury man, be he....
No push-over poet....
No eat-your -cake too fake.....

He rises to the occasion,
Sun or Rain,
Yeah, sometimes...
He's a pain in the ass
But, rest assured,
It's not just gas......

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You messed around 
and married a real 
"pain-in-the butt" man 

known throughout the land 
for ripping
burning 
completely deserting 
then leaving 
women hurting

his only claim to fame 
is over reacting 
and lacking class
a self-proclaimed pain in the ass
a crook with line 
and hook to cast 

things will never be the same
trade away your maiden name 
to Mrs. Hemorrhoid 
and wear his name with class....

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Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
To all that who knock
But I won't answer the door
Till the face on this clock

Says tomorrow, tomorrow
And Christmas has passed
And I can sigh a relief
To this pain in the ass

So thanks for your time
And your Christmas good cheer
But what I need most is perfectly clear

Some peace and some quiet
Is all that I ask
So don't be like Christmas
A pain in the ass...

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<                                our top story tonight is Lawyers
                                  a pain in the ass and real spoilers
                                  with  fancy cars homes suits
                                  fifteen hundred kaboot
                                  rather hire cowboy wearing just spurs






Entry For Carolyn Devonshire's 
Lawyer Limerick's Contest

GL All...

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So, Brexit is finally over and it with
a sigh of relief we see them leave the scene
 pain in the ass for too long.
 The haughty manners and arrogance 
of the British delegates who never agreed
on anything delegates from other nations
always demanding preferential treatment,
became a constant irritant for others.
You see, Britain was once an imperial nation
And it is their blood to push others about.
Just like the USA does today....

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I know these puppies
They are very pain in ass
It’s not very hard to have fun with them
They will follow you
They are all different sizes
These puppies are no other
Like other dogs
Yes they are puppies
Puppies are like children
They will cry and throw a fit
They are huge pain in the ass
They are still children
They are puppies
Some are ugly
Some are very uglier
There is only one I like
He is black
The rest is not bad
Just a bunch of puppies...

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Good morning ladies and gentlemen,
I'm just looking out my door.
It has been raining through the night,
Looks like we'll get some more.
But don't worry all you gardeners,
The sun will be out soon.
Just as quick as this snow melts,
Your flowers will start to bloom.
The wind will blow away the leaves,
So you can cut your grass.
I am your local weatherman,
A right pain in the ass.

11/march/2022
You're a weather forecaster poetry contest
Sponsored by
Matt caliri...

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