Short Kung Fu Poems

The Master

You have much to learn
Grasshopper. Kung fu, ninja
OK. Start boxing. Tex Wasabi...

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I caught a quick peek through the Veil
Where angels guide us without fail
I saw my friends
Were bucking trends
Its "human" race Beyond the Pale!...

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My goldfish Finster Darcy
Speaks English but not Farsi
He has an education
And moral reputation
He does kung-fu better than you
He's such an inspiration....

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 There once was a Lion named Lou,
 who thought he was tougher than you.
     He got into a fight,
     On the wrong night,
 and got beat by a kanga-kung fu!


...

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In limerick form is this ditty,

A rhyme not sublime, but it’s witty.

I’m a Word Warrior who

Kicks a rhyme like Kung-fu.

Don’t HAI-ku me. It won’t be pretty!


(For Rhyme Battle Round 5)
and now for the N/A Contest...

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An old gent was tellin' me about how his dad wrote "a dry book" on a given topic, and argued the issue before the Supreme Court. Pretty important dad! And mine? "My dad rescued two hookers during a boxer riot in Kowloon."...

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Thumping away at his typewriter
With the speed of a kung fu fighter
He writes letters, I guess
To complain to the press
He is a most annoying blighter.


-----------------------------
Contest: Funny Limericks
Sponsor: Line Gauthier...

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A struggle ensued at the zoo

when King Lion met Jack Kangaroo.

Leo tried to attack,

but Jack fired right back:

"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"


For Geraldine Taylor's  The Creative Collective Anthology Series - Comic Version...

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Bird in hand will fly away
Catch a fish and eat today

The body is a temple, a house for the soul
A clean heart turns dust into gold

Grasshopper learn how to walk on rice paper
Bend like bamboo tree and jump over skyscraper

God never let you walk alone...

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When King Lion met Jack Kangaroo,
quite a struggle ensued at the zoo.
Leo tried to attack,
but Jack fired then right back:
"Are you crazy, Cat? I know Kung Fu!"

Submitted March 1, 2021
for L Milton Hankins' Limericks In Honor Of St. Patrick's Day Poetry Contest...

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I want to pick a fight
Readied my arsenal to fight
Finished the last Kung Fu drill
I'm in the mood to fight
No one is annoying me today
My toes are peeping 
Nobody is stepping, today
Lend me your enemy, today
Finished my Kung Fu class
I'm looking for experience
They fear me, today...

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I wish that I was a Kangaroo 
         That had several belts in kung fu 
               With fast hands and feet
                   Hard for most to beat
     And I wouldn't have to wait for the loo 

   


5- 5 -18

Inspired by the " I Wish I Was A" Contest
Sponsor: Viv Wigley...

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Northern style with whirling a momentum kept
Southern style quicker and hidden short n sharp


Ref.Kung-fu styles
The Southern style was not based on Mantis movements at all.
But called such to confuse the Qing government –it was actually Chow Gar.
I bet that’s bored you all a little !
Carry on with your burgers !...

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Chew Chew Mat the Kung Fu Cat
Was roly, round, rotund and phat
She challenged every cat around.
Threw them into the air and onto the ground.

She was as fierce as any feline I had ever seen.
Her face was wide, her eyes were green.
She slammed me into the chair right away.
Okay I said, Let’s get this on, let’s play!...

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”... s’okay …”
one liner says all lines are true
container remains as the soup
”... Dr.ink of my pen…”
CODE LOVE to main gate activation…
”... they’ll think it’s all fiction…”
and if that’s the case… don’t waste a space
double pace to the time of place

they said phewy to my Kung Fu…
they said my confucius confuses too…
How, can it be I’m in the red shoe? ;)~...

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Davy Crockett
Never had any pocket
So he had his gun to show
He used it to get a deer, Doe

George Washington
Brave the water of Ocean
To get to our shore
To make our countries core

Bruce Lee
Was a Kung Fu mystery
He trained others in a row
He challenged the times to grow

Queen Elizabeth
Takes our breath
With all her letter list
She leads with an iron fist...

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Did I plant bamboo for the green?
Did I plant bamboo for the white?

When snow suggests that it
lean,
it's tippy-tops aren't at heavenward height
but, rather curled and frozen
somewhere between
the snow-clouds and snowdrifts.
These icicly moments of serene
are not only moments but rites;
snow-gifts.

So, green or white
white or green
it's bendy Kung Fu
serenes this milieu....

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By Valerie D. Staton


I love you…
More than Elmer loves glue
More than Bruce loves Kung Fu
More than Sara loves pie
You’re the apple of my eye

More than Samson loves Delilah
More than smoke loves fire
More than Adam loves Eve
You're the only one I need

More than needle loves thread
More than Wilma loves Fred
More than peaches loves cream
More than I’d ever dare to dream

I love you......

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The stupendous lot I had to munch
Made it A Mind-Blowing lunch,
Besides The final Served bunch
My aching teeth could crunch …

A quest for An Enriching Lunch
And it begot A Memorable lunch
I hadn’t its signaling hunch…

A By-Degrees Superb lunch,
In dimension A Brunch,
In Kung fu A Kick, in Boxing A Punch
To survive it A Bunch …

A lunch like a missile launch
That should explode A Glutton’s Paunch....

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No matter how diligently you've mastered Kung Fu 
You can never stand the force of a great typhoon.
If you try, you're only calling yourself a nincompoop
For it will sweep you away as the wind does balloon.
Among the homos, none can, not even the baboon.
You can only do it when you're in fantasy like cartoon.
So just play your role, like the sun and the moon 
Because you can't solve it all; morning or afternoon....

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What wood you look 4 in a super heroe group ? IDE want sum one kwick , with speed like the flash ! And a black guy hooz allways talking trash !
And a fat cowboy with a small flying machine , hoo can be giving his pals a ride.
And a pretty redhead girl hoo levitates 2 the other side .
And a Kung fu master and a master of disskyze , 
Let's call this group , Scott Rockwell,s lunatic fringe , 
And ile take my burgers with fries ! ......

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This café table watched how love has grown
But kept the playboy’s secrets, all unknown;
While his girl believed in one heart for two
Admiring a charmer's vow, ‘It is you’…
Till mad table quaked spilling his black list
Of young models’ faces, polished and kissed;
Whoops! Her kung fu skills chopped those loins, he bled
Now, a warning roars…’ MORE DANGER AHEAD ! ’


`````````````
10/20/2016
Warning Contest of Viv Wigley...

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Time is a mystery
Phases of time, self-explanatory
The past is the time that "passed" us by
Mistakes we've made
Blessings we've received
All gone to remain in our memories
The present as explained by a kung-fu master
As a gift, so called the present
The future is a little foggy
That I must admit
But if I were to break it down
It would mean that there is still
Very much to learn
More fun to be had
And much more discoveries to be made...

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Karate leaping fight-
      Kicking and striking  BLOWS,
knock out the opponent! 
          KUNG FU  self defense moves-
knee jerk  q u i c k  and  KAPUT . . .
      Kick Boxing King-  winner!
Kibosh and KUDO fame . . .

____________________________
March 9, 2017

Poetry/Pleiades/Verse/Kangaroo
Copyright Protected, ID 17- 883-160-0
All Rights Reserved.  Written under Pseudonym.

For the contest, Pleiades K
Sponsor, Kim Merryman

First Place...

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Poetry's a tough business, you know
   Each new poem reinvents the wheel
   Staring at a blank page takes nerves of steel
'Rest on your laurels?' -- You'll have nothing to show

I've heard that writing poems is an escape
   But why flee something easy to do
   Like nuclear physics or perfecting Kung Fu
Let the scoffers try to get into 'poetry shape'

As for me, I'm off for a round of pre-poetry drills
   ~ So my pen is primed to deliver thrills and chills!...

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