Short Heater Poems

Know how to turn it on
You
Love
Lord...

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Cold wind whistling; 
My guitar a space heater, 
come warm up your hands....

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chilled morning weather 
smell of car heater warming 
water beads rolling...

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snow fell all night long
  warm coco in the morning
heater broke last night...

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Love my space heater!
Glowing with orange-red might.
God......please help me write!


English Haiku


November 27, 2019...

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our room heater now
keeps me warmth on winter nights
after my wife leaves 
but I know she needs it more
with her at underground grave...

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In life you learn the true valuables,
Hot water is gold when the heater goes,
All my cash I'd give out
To have steam from the spout
Taking a literal cold shower blows!

4/22/18...

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Usually have to catch my breath
When admiring a gorgeous young creature
Basically start panting
Love songs I'm chanting
 Except for too much heat from my tiny heater...

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There once was a gambler named Peter
At poker he was known as a cheater
Hid cards behind his ear
Even put some up his rear
Till Dangerous Dan shot him with his heater...

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There once was a gambler named Peter
At poker, he was known as a cheater
Hid cards behind his ear
Even put some up his rear
Till Dangerous Dan shot him with his heater...

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There once was a gambler named Peter
At poker he was known as a cheater
Hid cards behind his ear
Even put some up his rear
Till Dangerous Dan shot Peter with his heater...

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A marathon runner called Peter
His shoes had a terrible fetor
It lingered in the breeze
smelling just like stale cheese
and got worse when he sat by a heater!

3/12/18...

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There once was a gambler named Peter
At poker he was known as a cheater
Hid cards behind his ear
Even put some up his rear
Till Dangerous Dan shot him with his heater


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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A foreman for the city does reap
Lots of overtime and a city heap
The streets covered with snow
My heap’s heater says “no”
I just long for that thing they call sleep 





Randy Steele
Horrible Boss (and more) contest...

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(This is a fictional poem)

I was naked and I bumped into my heater.
It put a second degree burn on my peter.
I couldn't have sex for over a month so my wife walked out the door.
When I peed, it hurt like hell because my wiener was so sore....

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Hot shower
Giving power
Being clean
Not mean

Water everywhere
Long as hits me erase care
Afterwards so cold
Take plunge; be bold

Thank God inventing water heater
Life might be defeater
Only 5-minute rush
Brings calm; mind hush
...

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Weather Report

If you go to Nome
To build a home
The rules are very rigid

Buy a space heater
For your seater
Because it's very frigid

But if sometime later
You visit the equator
Here's a little advice

Keep you tush
Under a bush
And sit on a pack of ice...

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cars, knives, building, planes, boats, pens, computers, soda pop,  lighters, money,
jewelery, tvs, tool, stoves, fridges, blenders, forks, spoons, guns, heater, ac, belts,
fans, canned food,  batterys,  toasters, washers, dryers........  

what do all these things have in common. it's truly unnatural....

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Max the cat likes a pat
And a scratch under his chin’s a fact
He doesn’t like the cold
And will sit near the heater so bold

Purring is not a favourite in thing
But he does it when there’s a happy ring
In the morning his everyone’s friend
Wanting a tip-bit from the drawer in the end.

© Paul Warren Poetry...

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The seat are worn
Sit on the springs
Heater doesn’t work
In winter freeze
Floor all rusted
     See the ground
Door held closed
     With a piece of wire
Windows don’t roll
     Rear one is done
All it really needs
     Is a new engine
Drop in a block
     It’ll fix every thing
Be good as new
     That’s all that it needs...

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Her eyes have the power of KingKong, even though everything she says is wrong
 Her hair is short her legs are long, I wonder how beautiful she was when she was young
 Trump is an absolute dictator,He's illiterate so he dictates her.
 She is the United States spokesperson, her name is Heather, she is so hot that can be used as a heater....

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Without you i'm crying every night,what a pity
I want to play in your hair like a kitty
your hair is soft like butter
Your eyes are bright like water
Your voice is soft like feather
Your body's warm like leather
No way,it is like a heater
No way i'm just a liar
your body's hotter than fire
Your body's as hot as hell 
Far more than i can tell...

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I once knew an old bloke called Peter
Whose body could smell so much sweeter
He stank of stale wee
B O and coffee
T’was worse when he sat by the heater!

His daughter whose name is Anita
Tried hard to help Peter smell sweeter
He bathes twice a day
She gave him some spray
From Peter there is no foul fetor!

04~09~17...

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The white snow so pure;
Masks the death of the grass.
Black ice on the ground;
Dares drivers to pass.
Birds flock to warmth;
Families gather by fire.
Sitting by the heater;
Waiting for summer to transpire.
How I long for green leaves;
Anticipating how the birds will sing.
Admiring the beauty of winter from the window;
Till the sunshine brings in the Spring....

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On a cold winters day in January i think 
She came along and warmed my whole life
like a heater she became my wife
now when its cold i am not alone freezing
it is my woman that keeps me warm and pleasing
when night comes i no longer look to the stars
and wander where she is
she is right beside me with my kid
all my life she is what i needed
for me my heart is completed...

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