Short Guzzling Poems

Here's what makes me sad, and I find it puzzling :-(
How alcohol can ruin a day, but they go on guzzling!...

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Tanned furs and leines clothe their hairy backs.
Hoard of mead guzzling men eat turkey legs for snacks….
in skirts and medieval fanny packs....

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I'm a pirate who sways on dry land
Arrr! Now from The Ship Inn I was banned
A great plan I would hatch
Returned wearing eye patch
Beer guzzling evening back on as planned...

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Chicago's like a box of alcoholics
you always know what your gonna git
gang bangers and amateur rappers
pick pockets and sidewalk crappers
trolls guzzling homebrew under a bridge...

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A stitch in time saves nine
But a stitch in your side ain't fine
Hurts like hell
Bad words you expell
Bend over in pain while guzzling wine


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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grimy gremlins gathered in a gloomy glade
giggling guzzling grapeade they’d greedily made
with gadgets gone wild
and gizmos defiled
they gambled on games with tricks they’d displayed...

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The freeways are packed,
Long faces, fatigue, stress
Where are you going?

Like rats in a maze,
Guzzling gas, polluting air
What is so important?

Cell phones and laptops,
Purity of quiet lost
Mankind advances?...

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By shadowed lantern light I've written verses
about flying fish and Charybdis' guzzling curses;
of humpback whales that breach crested waves
then plunge to the ocean's depth of watery graves



October 16,2020    
Gregory Barden's Rithimus Divisa 10 Contest
a verse from 'Sailing Mystic Seas'  ~   8/28/20...

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Love comes for the horny
at new years in the city
When grabbing bottle gently
in hopes that one will pity

That marching to them gently
will offer you a bit
When guzzling what you have to
in not enough to spit

That you will find them gently
in what you have to say
When luck has found you greatly
and offered you a lay...

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For months Santa tossed back barrels of brews

   He was so fat he got stuck in the flues

      Ms Santa warned he might croak

         Choking on billowing smoke

            And to lay off his gross guzzling of booze

Entry for Tania Kitchin's "Holiday Themed Limerick Poetry" Contest
(18 November 2019)
Placed No. 2 in the contest...

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I am addicted to raspberry tea

   I prefer it to a fine French Chablis

      If alcohol it contained

         I'd stagger about half-brained

            Guzzling gallons to gratify me

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 2 in Francine Robert's "Pick a Beverage, any Beverage" Contest - Oct 2011...

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Colonoscopies aren't all that tough
though ONE is one MORE than enough!
And besides all the sh&t, 
here's the worst part of it:
Guzzling liters of salty gross stuff!

NOTE: Truly the drinking a gallon of the "drink" the night before was the only hard part. And THIS thanksgiving, I am very grateful that the results of my test were PERFECT!!!...

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What’s an easy way to get sick?
Too many gas bubbles will do the trick.
It doesn’t bode well for your hide
when you take in too much carbon dioxide.
What happens when you consume excess gas?
That brain in your cranium is most likely to pass.
Inside that small space must not be a lot of room.
That is the reason why you are a soda-guzzling boomboom.
...

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teetering the streets early morning dawn
as I left the swagger at the bar guzzling beers
I encountered the devil

the butt of a gun stopped the fun of insouciance
as for ever four metal plates in the face
not deter day or night the walk of evil

for the what not of few dollars in a pocket
an attempt at a slot to produce more
and the debit keeping its pin from you I smile still...

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Lazy god,
nibbling cotton candy clouds
guzzling golden grape wine
angels fanning your endless siesta.
With harps and trumpets divine
while this invisible beast
that you fashioned
eats us alive...
Soul creator
galaxy twirler 
black hole baker
ocean filler
talking snake maker.
You could wash out this raging fire, 
anytime your artisan heart desires...
We're patiently waiting!...

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~A Night at the Pub~



Benny burped British beer.
Betty, his beatiful beau, could not bear it!

Betty, burped a huge bubble back at Benny.
Beer burps, for the beloved's face are far more than bad,not worth a penny


Benny continued beside his beau, guzzling the luscious foam.
Better drive your beautiful Benz home, leaving burping, beaus alone!

                          
                         4/21/2021...

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From green to white to green
What a crazy mixed up scene

The weatherman's all confused
Methinks he's into the booze

If he starts a-guzzling gin
Most likely I'll be joining him 

Of all my years here on earth 
This kinda stuff is really the worst

So bring on the ice and snow
I'm Canadian as you know

As long as things go as planned
Hiccups I can now and then stand

But this year the weather gods
Are surely not doing their jobs!...

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Don't worry, cookie. 
I won't eat you. 

Unless you ask, but
I doubt you will. 

With Sanguine intentions, 
We toss and tumble, 
Laughing with grass
Stained khaki's. 

This is bliss. 
Across the 
Rolling hills of 
Our private desires. 

Your key barely 
Fits anymore, but
That's okay because
I can't be your 
Door anymore. 

Remember? I stand
On the 
Corner. 

With fishnet
Stocking, a cigarette
And a mini-skirt. 

You dare to 
Cross me so 
I've become what
You've wanted.

Now burn, 
Lover....

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