Short Doozy Poems

Jacuzzi Woozy
  told Suzy Floozy
    a real Doozy
  Now there's
       a little Uzi...

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that was a crackerjack
a dandy
a pippen
a doozy
a corker
a whale
grandson stared at his elderly grandfather
having no idea what language he was speaking...

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I've been bitten
yes I'm smitten
by that freakin
bug of lore
that
nasty
sneaky
critter
somehow made it
through my door

Now I'm feelin
woozy
like a man
on to much boozy
next came
warm and fuzzy
dang
these symptoms
are a doozy

Dang it
I've been bitten
yep truly
I am smitten
by that
nasty
sneaky
critter
that's a
love bugs bite
for sure...

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In church, kneel down, stand up, give the priest room.
Week to week, “fruit of the vine,” his voice booms.
                       Mistake a doozy.
                       Priest’s a bit woozy.
Proclaims from the pulpit, “fruit of the loom.”

10/10/2020

*Unmentionables - another name for men’s underwear
**Fruit of the Loom - Brand name of underwear
***True story!...

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Clyde Clark
In park

Was boozy
Real doozy

Did pee
On tree

Broke law
Cop saw

Tied hands
With bands

To jail
Sans bail

Called spouse
"You souse"

Said she
To he

"Stay there
Don't care"

(Later before the judge)
"Where ere you be let your water flow free", was Clyde's creative defense.
Ha! Ha! grinned the judge! "Thirty days in the slammer for this offense!"...

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He was everything her daddy had warned her against,
Before daddy left them for a young floozy.
His black leather jacket enhanced his angriness.
Everything about him made her a bit woozy.
Stay away from that wild thing, her mother warned.
When it came to her daughter, she was rather choosy.
I’d snap that one up in a pink minute, Grandma said.
He’s danger on a stick, a fascinating doozy!...

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It’s funny now
To know the truth
That all you care about is you
Your squinty eyes and sneaky smile
You had a plan all the while

Pretend to care 
Say some words
And then not care
Who you hurt

Cause your plan is #1
All others be damned 
Your having fun

You pile it on 
Cause I can take it
Curse my name 
And try to break me

But evil does
As evil see’s
Wait for my plan
It’s a doozy...

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Tomorrow, I'll try my exercise
           bike.
           No, not that expensive doozy!
           I'd fall down and be a fallen,
           poetic lollapaloozy!

           My glory days of riding a real
           bicycle have long past.
           But the body needs exercise
           like our minds.
           Not too slow, nor too fast!
           Just sanely paced!



                  December 12, 2019...

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Holding it in as long as I possibly could
[Wouldn’t want to stink up my neighborhood]
So, I hurriedly ran to a nearby park
And, surrounded by sweet-smelling flowers
I let it rip!  No one was near to hear me
But the sound was ear-splitting, I tell you,
And when it comes to farts, mine was a doozy
So, I hurried home and got in my jacuzzi.

written October 2, 2021
especially for "May The Gas Be With You Farts" Poetry Contest
sponsored by Chantelle Anne Cooke...

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Just take this blue pill
Oh hold it wait
You need to sallow this swill
I hope you don’t faint

From the loss of your blood
You start to feel woozy
And don’t feel so good
Well this ones a doozy

I’ll give you a shot
So you can feel better
Oh wait I forgot
I’ll give you a sweater

To help with the chills
It is a side affect
From some of your pills
Please don’t reflect

About all of the big bills
I will bring a big platter
Everyone of them kills
It will not really matter...

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