Short Doggone Poems

The old dog spied a cat
Fast asleep under a tree
He yawned and sighed then slept...

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a family gathers
on the porch in the rain
when an old dog farts


John G. Lawless
©10/24/2019...

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The
5 second
rule you all use 
for dropping food on 
the floor is useless if 
you have got a 
2 second 
dog...

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no muddy paw prints
show on the kitchen floor now…
your leash hangs unused

FICTION WRITE

08-26-17...

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A lady was wearing a bonnet
That looked like a garden was on it
The birds and the bees
Brought her to her knees
But a cur got there first, doggone it!...

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His wife was so doggone lazy
He thought it would drive him crazy
Sunday night she dropped dead
At the foot of the bed
So he cried out, "Oops!  A Daisy!"...

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I guess it would cause oohs and ahhs
if I wrote of the doggie's doo dahs
So I'd best keep it clean
even though it will mean
this 'tale' will be wagging the dog, haha....

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Poor Fido is last in the queue
For cocking his leg on the yew
He hopes the other dogs
Don’t produce poopy logs
He’s bursting to pee and then poo!...

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Concert tickets were a fabulous gift, 
But this bathroom line has me quite miffed. 
Next time, I won't wait to "go"
Until after the show 
When I go out to see Taylor Swift. 

...

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Magic charm

     Of you is...

        Just so doggone...

            Overpowering!


Date written: 07/26/2020...

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There was this entrée; they called it bean soup
My pet tasted some, then let out a whoop --
   Doggone it, I exhaled
   As Fido wagged his tail --
While I removed all his stench from the stoop......

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There was a dog owner named Mark
Whose beagle would constantly bark
The neighbours would moan
They’d steal Benji’s bone
And toss it away in the park

18th February 2016...

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  He called me 'Kike'
   I called him 'Wop'
  At two-on-two basketball
   We two were tops

  No pair could beat us
    in the whole city
  We'd be expelled now for bigotry
    What a doggone pity

  
...

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OH SHOOT!!!  .A DOGGONE COOKIE    
 
He wanted from her some sweet nookie.
Instead all he got was a cookie.
He suffered his fate.
When he went to date.
Because the poor girl then played hookie!!!!
 
06/19/14...

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Joe Murphy built a wall at great expense.                       
He bought a vicious dog to guard the fence. 
One night there was a dense fog;
Joe stumbled on the fence dog.
We haven't heard a word from Joseph since....

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Sue purchased an old dog named Buster
It took all the cash she could muster
Buster dropped dead that week
So in a fit of pique
Sue rang up the seller and cussed her!

fiction write 

01~20~17...

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Today I lost a friend of mine.
Her life was long and sweet.

She never said that she was sick ;
was happy every time we'd meet.

If she knew all her friends were sad ;
she'd be so very doggone mad,

she'd never speak to us again....

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Rufus: Irish Rover Purebred and a Fortune 500 Pup ( As told by Rufus himself.)

Watch me snarl all the salesmen away,
ram the door, keep the mailmen at bay.
Each evening, I break
for a fresh T-bone steak.
The sun shines on my ass the WHOLE day....

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gnats and mosquitoes
so doggone aggravating
hate to give them time
persisting even though warned
merit electrocution

THIRD PLACE WINNER
written August 29, 2021
especially for "A Buggy Tanka Contest"
sponsored by M.L. Kiser...

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The sharing of a meal can be quite a romantic gesture
of course, when one is starving it may be a survival instinct...
a kiss while sharing a plate of spaghetti - is doggone great!


For "Sijo Kisses" contest sponsored by Tracie ~*~ Indigo Dreamweaver....

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As fate would have it Big Joe was his name,
That was his only claim to fame
He was quite a wee dog
Birth not meant as a watchdog 
Efforts were futile to have him rename...



*I still remember he had 
a stubborn demeanor even 
though he was so small"...

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Limerick: Once Lucy met Heidelberg Man

   for Nelson Mandela

Once Lucy met Heidelberg Man
Then Neanderthal and Peking Man
Tortoise said to the Turtle:
“Where’s your doggone girdle!”
“What a disgrace to my race,” said Bushman!

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013...

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All that you give will come back to you
You always get what you give
Love in gorgeous times
Love in bad times
Love in faded evenings
Love in days wooing
Love in sessions
Loves in digs
Love in your arrangements
Love in your ways
Love in low
Love in high
All that you give love you back
Love doggone gives
Govern you...

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I met a girl on Friday
Who loved a glass of wine
She wasn't much to look at
Until she wasn't mine

I thought about it Sunday
(I don't know why I did)
She looked so doggone tasty
I nearly flipped my lid

But now I know the secret
of every woman's charm
They're always more attractive
On someone else's arm!...

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Dog Chinese Restaurant

Poodle’s
Noodles

A Favorite Dog Dessert

Poodle
Strudel

Doggy Line Up

Canine
Aline

Too Dazed to Bark

Groggy
Doggy

Dog Caught in Rain

Soggy
Doggy

Doggone Confused

Foggy
Doggy

Doggy Valentine
Stay fine,
Canine

Forget Brown Cow

How now
Chow chow?


Aug. 8, 2022...

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