Short Condoms Poems

Summer night, scared stiff
Trying to pay for condoms
With a rubber check...

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Joe headed to meet Rose in hurry,
Took chocolate, flowers, rum to the dorm.
Condoms in case he would find glory,
If not chloroform....

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I go to the store by the station
To buy a product of elation
I try to implore
I want to explore
Where’s the condoms, no explanation

Russell Sivey...

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Now that I've got your attention
This has nothing to do with protection
Just a silly old lim'rik
Bout poop on a stick
But I'll stop if I hear an objection...

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A guy goes into a drugstore to buy some condoms
'Do you want a bag?”cashier asks not seeing a problem
“No she's not THAT ugly!”
He answered smugly
Using his billiards experience, the last shot he caromed...

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A guy goes into a drugstore to buy some condoms
'Do you want a bag?” cashier asks not seeing a problem
“No, she's not THAT ugly!”
He answered smugly
Using his billiards experience, the last shot he caromed...

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On the way to the ghetto joint
Used condoms you kick
Them all the way
Passionate nights
Sex from desperate minds
Night is black
White is the night
Sex is passionate
Without color
Day comes see the color
And cry tears of pain
...

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Unisex sex protection in
Using condoms rubber 
Latex covering the penis
During sexual intercourse
Preventing to catch a sexually
Transmitted disease branding
Names of use trojan,lifestyles,
Magnums,ect a water proof
Holding in ejaculated semen
Condoms....

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Photographs on my desk,
Stains on my sheets, 
Love charms and condoms,
And a stench so sweet,
I used to view these artifacts,
As bond and chain,
A Ring warped and bent 
Like I feel I am to be,
Half out of my mind, 
Half in
One step further
And the lights shall din...

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Syringes in fence palings
condoms on park benches
street sweeper drinks whiskey
at four in the morning
opera house silhouettes
the bridge of dawn
first ferry tugs out
rust and ropes
like stale sex
herald the rising sun
Circular Quay swims
with grey suits
and mid length skirts  
dark stocking like
instep, to the beat
of yesterday....

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Away at the drug store
no condoms I see 
I need some protection
to stop pregnancy

My girlfriend’s so horny
wants sex night and day
I’d never refuse her
a roll in the hay!

I’ll purchase some cling film
and some rubber bands
I’ll use these till condoms
are back on the stands.

Poem of the Day 14th July 2023

07/13/23...

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The Durex Company’s fearing the worst
Non latex condoms are now known to burst
There’s a product recall
Hope they can trace them all ...
Or unplanned babies may need to be nursed!

Inspired by this newspaper article - n.b it's only certain products which are sold in the UK and Ireland

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-45014118

8/13/18...

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Dildo Factory
There was once a boy and girl who were having it off together. They ended up together, sort of. They had real names but also nicknames. They were called Slaaag and False Daddy. Both worked in a factory that made condoms and sex toys. The Dildo Factory that produced quality long lasting high satisfaction sex aids and toys. The dildo range was vast and varied....

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For your birthday I give you the sideways articulation
of red-tailed shadows against the 
screaming stop light crush,
The sweat-stained, wine-soaked nights 
Spent nodding into cottons
And a box of dreams felt once then
Unopened and lost.
We’ll sing ether wafted alleys,
robot-kissed breasts
bright ribbons
two-penny condoms-- 
I’d give you the sky if you would speak again
my baby angel...

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HIV they say that's your name 
So who's the blame 
Who created this awful name 
Your weak to me can't you see 
You'll never be apart of me 
I have a voice to make a choice 
To protect myself from someone else 
Condoms are free for you and me 
Don't be a victim of society 
Make the choice and be the voice 
And protect yourself from someone else 
Be wise in what you do 
So HIV won't enter you...

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The deer shake off the headlights


We sat in the car outside the 
liquor store peering like deer, our eyes 
following Pinky as she went in to 
the store for a twelve pack of beer.
Our breathing stops. She's carded. Shucks.
Fake card works. Yes! Pinky time. She
sashays back, with beer and condoms, smiling.

connie pachecho

4/12/17 

Note-Kwansaba 7 sentences/lines containing 7 words in each?...

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(This is a fictional poem but sadly it's true for some people.)

I told him not to sleep around but he didn't listen to me.
After sleeping with lots of women, he's got HIV.
I told him to use condoms but he said they weren't for him.
Now that he has a death sentence, he wishes he had wore them.
He's going to die and I can't imagine life without my best friend.
I'm going to stand by him and give him support until the very end....

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There are dead flowers and used condoms in the garbage 
Next to the bed in my room,
Scraps of paper with your handwriting 
On the desk,
On the floor.
I notice that strands of your hair remain on my body.
For a moment I confuse them with my own.
Your smell lingers on my skin in places where your sweat used to be.
You forgot it there, 
Left it in this place along with the stains on my sheets.
And I miss you when I close my eyes....

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One percent milk chided the butter about its worth,
And the eggs got all cracked up at the stock boys’ jokes.
Nutty candy bars laughed joyfully at all the mirth,
But all shunned the outcast; a pack of generic smokes.

Ground Chuck had just been through the grinder
Yet he was glad when he encountered fresh, hot buns.
Over in health and beauty, condoms became a reminder,
Trash magazines spreads all; Hot and cross rolls share puns!...

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While volcanoes rehearse to show their teeth
lovers shouting from the well of the house
wave broken condoms rather than broken trust

conflate dissent on self-erasing slates
and prove worse than the old oxen 
long following circuitous ways

billowing opposition, discalced defenders

they all assert superior dishonesty
sell cheap what is most dear or make
offences of new affections

I carry the tomb of unburied days


--R K Singh...

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An athlete used a condom
When she needed to repair
Her kayak, for in Tokyo
It suffered damage there.

She made a TikTok video,
Now viral, of her work,
Then won some medals thanks to
An Olympic Village perk.

Seems condoms are ubiquitous 
For athletes at the Games, 
With 60,000 given out.
(Can’t tamp Olympic flames!)

Most likely, no one ever thought
Their use could be so bold,
In unexpected fashion,
To help someone earn the gold!...

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Pulling up his pants I think he's already forgotten me
Smeared lipstick and a handful of twenty's

Dirty condoms laying on couch, the bed, and the floor 
He gives me a mischievous wink and out the door

Now i'm angry at what I've done 
A filthy whore with cheap discreet fun

Laying on my bed it smells like sex
My life has always been cursed like a hex

No worries i've got a way to take away the pain
Pulled the trigger on my twenty two and blew out my brain...

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Here is my little cheating song,
Contribute to this gross contest and play along,
I was cheated on many years ago,
It hurt like hell this you should know,

Anyways she came back home to me,
She used a condom to you see,
But condoms do not always work,
So I got something from the jerk.

It cleared up with some pills and surgery,
But the heart was filled with pain and misery,
So go ahead write your poems and make fun,
It just proves your heart is with the evil one!...

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It used to be
view from the bridge
I jumped and
sank deep
in the murky waters
but
somehow I survived
now it is
beneath the bridge
I find shelter
cigarettes are not
a given
but come and go
sex happens here
haphazardly
condoms litter the
shoreline
needles needlessly
decorate the wooden palings
reality is vague
clearly we need to
regroup 
ashamed I shop for
empathy
it is not easy to find
but the harsh reality
of life kicks in
and I am happy to be
who I am

are you?...

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To the tune of: “My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean”

                     I

My grandpa sells condoms to sailors
He pokes holes in them with a pin
My grandma gives backstreet abortions
Lord, how the money rolls in!

                    II
 
My cousin’s a pastor in Cleveland
He saves young, fallen girls from their sin
Fifty bucks, and he’ll save you a cutie
Lord, how the money rolls in!


*Variations of the above have been around at least since the 1970's.
Written 5/25/22...

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