How the Money Rolls In

To the tune of: “My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean”

                     I

My grandpa sells condoms to sailors
He pokes holes in them with a pin
My grandma gives backstreet abortions
Lord, how the money rolls in!

                    II
 
My cousin’s a pastor in Cleveland
He saves young, fallen girls from their sin
Fifty bucks, and he’ll save you a cutie
Lord, how the money rolls in!


*Variations of the above have been around at least since the 1970's.
Written 5/25/22
Copyright © | Year Posted 2022

Poem

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Wolf Avatar
May 26, 2022 at 8:10 PM
Gosh, these are just awful----ly good! :)
Anaya Avatar
May 25, 2022 at 7:27 PM
Gun shows with no policy except to sell weapons no background check in Congress keeps obstructin' laws which could save children's lives, Lord that's how the money rolls in!
Hankins Avatar
May 25, 2022 at 6:58 PM
Ha! I've never heard these before, Robert. I love them...and so much truth. I love the enterprising grandpa and grandma one. They have a real "thing" going.
Gorelick Avatar
May 25, 2022 at 7:46 PM
I first hear this aboard ship in Alameda, California in the Navy. This would be the 1970's. Thank you, Milt
Anaya Avatar
May 25, 2022 at 4:23 PM
A bar owner waters down liquor, then he sells his fifteen proof gin, fine wine is now no more than grapejuice. Lord how the money rolls in!
Gorelick Avatar
May 26, 2022 at 8:37 AM
Lol, clever!
Anaya Avatar
May 25, 2022 at 4:18 PM
Starbucks after a while gets chilly, corporate turns up the ac it's freez'in! It makes everyone buy more coffee, Lord, how the money rolls in!
Gorelick Avatar
May 26, 2022 at 8:38 AM
Burr, better buy me a cup! Robert
Kyser Avatar
May 25, 2022 at 3:28 PM
A drug exec made COVID vaccines, And then he bought some congressmen. They say that I need two more boosters. Oh, Lawd, how the money rolls in!
Kyser Avatar
May 25, 2022 at 3:24 PM
A mega-church has a pastor Who never brings up the word 'sin' He sells books on having your best life Lord, how the money rolls in!
Gorelick Avatar
May 26, 2022 at 8:35 AM
As the actor Steve McQueen put it: Life's a scam! good one Jeff
Hankins Avatar
May 25, 2022 at 7:01 PM
(chuckling) I think I know who you have in mind, Jeff. I was an SBC pastor. I understand they've just done a big study on sexual abuse in the church and found it more prevalent than previously thought. One pastor resigned this week after confessing adultery...he didn't mention with a 16-year-old. OMG!
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