Short Commode Poems

heard God would forbid
have to close the commode lid
this is what we did...

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I wrote an Ode to the commode
what a relief, what a load.

John G. Lawless
5/10/2022...

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so much
seed I have flushed down
the commode with
a lot of loneliness
and longing before twenty...

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If women rules, there’d be no war,
no overpopulation,
no lament outpouring, or 
up-seat commode position....

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Found that people did forebode,
And discovered that binary code,
Missing because,
We knew it was,
Found flushed down the commode.

Jim Horn...

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Unload Code and Flush Down Commode

What we should is take Trump code,
And then after it we start to unload;
Not any good;
Misunderstood;
Can completely flush down commode.

Jim Horn...

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Like commode water
Once cherished times
Were flushed from the mind,

Cherished times pooled
Beneath observable wants
Leaving the pacifier of friendship
Resting between the lips of our souls....

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Prison Cohen Started To Head

Prison is where Cohen started to head,
Which is something that he does dread;
His teeth brushing;
Commode slushing;
Eating meals and spending nights in bed.

Jim Horn...

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Trump and Glory Lost Its Crown

Trump had lost his glory along with crown;
Commode in swamp did flush deep down;
Not rehearsed,
Before dispersed;
This strange weirdo was talk of the town.

Jim Horn...

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She sits upon commode, hold plastic-lined 

Garbage bin, pale, agonized

Prayer, God help me, please

Sponsor: Constant LaFrance
Thanks for the challenge..
Written: 09/04/2021...

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Worry not, it's a minor bump in the road
Happens rarely, must stay near the commode
Won't bore you details
Just a bit off the rails
Be back just as soon I feel better and reload


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Global warming--an idea that stinks
Sea water that's not in the sinks
you have permission
for carbon emission
But what if it's your land that shrinks?

Global warming--an idea that floats
Coast houses soon will be house boats
That pricey abode
Became a commode
Just inland roads transform to moats...

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A poet was rhyming an ode
Driving his car down the road
He became so engrossed
That his car hit a post
And his trousers became a commode

So from that day on our sweet poet
Swore on his word that he'd stow it
avoiding such deep concentration
Before he'd become so unravelled
Or he'd be on a roadway less travelled...

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March 15,2016

I placed the saran wrap on the commode,
Laughing, I waited till she had to go.
Finally, it was time for her to pee,
Never laughed so hard at a little wee.

I apologised for being that mean,
I drew her a bath so she could get clean.
I promise to never lay the same trap,
I will never again buy saran wrap....

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Whilst seated upon the commode,
An astronomer, Johann Elert Bode
Found a celestial law
Which had nary a flaw
Which he phrased in the form of an ode.

Each planet you see is removed from the sun
By a distance twice farther than the preceding one
Not a half, I lament
Not three hundred percent
But just twice! (Now isn't this fun?)...

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Did you hear about the hapless Australian bloke?

'Twas on the evenin' news and folks this ain't no joke!

He was astride the commode and a snake bit his Vienna sausage!

Oh!  The very thought of such!  And if I may create an adage:

"Mates, afore you sit, carefully lift the lid and peer into yer commode,

Or you could be stunned to see a snake, alligator or a grinnin' toad!"...

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He's scheduled for a colonoscopy 
Commode will soon fill with allotropy
Only clear liquid diet
This soon will be a riot
Six wipes sent by a person who's loopy 

Inspired by contest...
Written: August 11, 2015

Allotropy..uh-lo-truh-pee...a property of certain elements existing in two or more
distinct forms..There will be many elements in the commode.....

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Greedy goats were invited to the Wednesday feast;
They foraged their dinners ahead of the sly wildebeest.
Quenching their thirst with quail juice alamode.
A gallimaufry of raindrops stirred within a commode.

I asked who invited these creatures, and of course it was Tom.
He did not realize they were all related to my husband’s mom.
I thought they were gone, I said as they came through the door.
My ex and his mother, what a mess, huh, Lenore?...

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It’s snowing! It’s snowing! It’s SNOWING!
Fire inside the house was toasty and glowing.
But the inhabitants were excited sister kittens. 
All three were too excited to wait for their mittens.

They ran outside, getting their fur all wet and cold.
You can tell we have changed said Grandma. When did we get old?
Grandpa said “speak for yourself” and jumped off the commode. 
When he reached the children, a huge snowball fight was in full battle mode....

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I will always think of you when a belly is full,
  and your always there for me with your buddy
   the roll.


    With one pull of a handle or a push of a button,
   you discard a dinner no matter how rotten,your
   sacrifice to man will never forgotten.


      I'm your #1 fan,they call me a load,when I sit on 
     your bench I just want to explode,I give thank's
      every day to my humble abode,on my short 
      journey down man's porcelain road....

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my commode has been making noise
that my wife tried to fix it
only to make it worse
and now it started leaking too

by the time i saw it
the washroom was flooded
and i’m no plumber to fix it
neither am i an idiot to avoid it

so, i did with manly mettle, mettle with it
and tightened, at the end, the right nut
for both the noise, and the ooze to prevent

we did leave home thereafter
i, carrying a washroom in ooze
while my wife, walking in perfect poise...

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Plumber is flat on his back.It is back breaking work.Plumber rolls to the back.He reaches
for the heavy backpack.Finds a tool to fix the back of a toilet.It's backed up,he has to
back track.Plumber pulls back and goes backwards.The commode is back washed!Plumber don't
move to fast you'll fall back.He wanted to back out of the job.The boss said''Don't back
talk.''Boss says'' You are lucky I don't give you my boot in your back.''The plumber backed
down,and got back to work....

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