Short Blarney Poems

True beauty alarming
No harm being charming
Luck stone kiss Blarney...

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blarney
noun BLAR-nee 
1 : skillful flattery : blandishment
2 : nonsense, humbug...

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Come all ye, kiss that blarney stone
Join in the legend and be known
For the gift of gab
Ye come kiss the slab
Eloquence and luck shall be shown...

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A beautiful girl from Killarney
Drove all her suitors barmy
She was having such fun
Didn't want to marry anyone
She just gave them all heaps of blarney...

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once was an tricky old leprechaun
colored blarney stone with neon crayons
so much for gift of gab
I just hailed down a cab
and ran over that fairytail icon...

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Beauteous words
Bandbox words
Bristly words
Brazen words
Buffoon-like words
Busy words
Brainy words
Blarney words
Blimey words
Bewildered words
Be aware....

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Assign region flattery gauges?
Silly but let’s try anyway.
The Scottish slather it on.
The Germans withhold it.
It’s Irish blarney.
Overindulge
Compliment
Praise...

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Sheriff Andy’s had his share of strife
with his deputy dope, Barney Fife.
That first time that Barney
showed up full of blarney,
Andy ought to have run for his life!


Feb. 7, 2019...

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There was a young jockey from Ireland 
Booked to ride the race horse, grey diamond
he wanted to be seen
painted grey diamond green
and kissed the Blarney Stone for Ireland.

15/03/2017....

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There was a lad known for his shenanigans,
Who completed each act with such naughty grins.
He leaned backward all alone,
To kiss the old Blarney Stone!
That limestone-lipped lad known for shenanigans....

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On Saint Pat’s Day, with the Guinness flowin’
All night long the blarney was blown’
I’ll trap a Leprechaun—I’d shout 
With chicken soup, not stout!
Then caught the rarely seen Lepre-Cohen!

Written 3/27/22...

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On St. Patrick's Day, old boozehound Barney
Howls grand Gaelic airs at a pub in Killarney
Place a strong stout at his paw
And he'll howl Erin go braugh!
Yes, County Kerry folk are given to blarney!

3/17/23...

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Blarney there’s one magic stone.
When you kiss it, you’re put in ‘the zone.’
You’ll soon gab with words so glib.
Matters not if truth or fib.
With a stout Guinness, one must atone.
...

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In a horrible dull monotone

Bobby spoke, and his girlfriend would moan,

“No kisses from me,

dear Bobby McGee

till you first kiss the old Blarney Stone.”


Written March 15, 2017 for
Kim Merryman's Luck of the Irish Limerick Contest...

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There is no pain!just numb remains.
living inside and seeing clearly out!
Fear of the one who thinks you dumb!
blame?insane?have no doubts!
I never kissed the blarney stone.
I swallowed it in one sook!
never missed a beat!or owed a loan!
the dancing champion had this sudden stroke of luck!?...

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There once was a leprechaun named Arnie,

   Who hailed from the village of Killarney.

      When his belly was sated,

         Said the lass that he dated:

            "You are chock-full of Guinness and blarney!"

Entry for Kim Merryman's "Luck of the Irish Limerick Contest"

(14 March 2017)...

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There was an old sauce chef from Killarney, 
    Whose Irish stew, was flavoured with blarney.
    While he quaffed bottles of hock,
    That was infused with shamrock.
    Which spiced up his special bouquet garni.

    3 / 1 / 2021.

    For the St. Patrick's day contest.
    Sponsor. L Milton Hankins....

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If you are going to frequent a pub today
Make it in Cork, though it be far away
Make it Murphy’s, for it is St. Paddy’s day
And while you are there, you had better pray.

The Irish are wild, never dull or gray.
They always talk blarney, want to have the last say.
If you want me to come, I will be there said Jay
I love Irish pubs, there is plenty of play!...

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Mr. Jeremy Brown
His students he had to calm down
He tried to teach them English
But ended up in confused anguish

Miss Courtney
The principal who hated men's blarney
Paid Mr. Brown's class a surprise visit
Not one correct answer could she elicit



10.22.2021



"Mind Your Language" comedy series

For Joseph May's "Clerihew 2" contest...

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The Blarney Stone
It was a bucket list I had to fill
I puckered up and felt the chill
The stone was cold upon my lips
The ledge was hard beneath my hips
Within my head a bell had rung
And words were forming on my tongue
Stories for the young and old
Simply waiting to be told
A scrap of paper and a pen
I jot a line down now and then
In hopes someday someone will read
The gift of gab?  A gift indeed...

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Shawn was full of blarney most of his youthful days
with his full face, his emerald eyes and his ginger hair
He sang Irish ditties in knee slapping ways
When he had too much beer at the Dublin fair

He is so rotund, so Rubenesque, so big, some said.
Santa Claus is too, said his wife, her head totally red.
She liked everything about her chubby happy man.
Loved him completely, as only a second wife can....

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Celtic courtship ended
nineteen eighty-two.
Marriage nuptials blended
"us" from me and you.

Seaside lovers heading 
to the Irish Sea
showcase Christmas wedding, 
silver jubilee.  

Touring without hassle -
Isle of Man’s ferry,
Dublin, Blarney Castle,
Cobh Cork, and Kerry.

Guinness, china, mincemeat
pricey souvenirs;
homespun sweaters compete
lamb’s wool profiteers.


written February 19, 2018
contest:  88 syllables hosted by Joseph May...

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Kiss me; I’m Irish. . . Silly guy!
All night you’ve given me the eye,
and with that gift of gab you’ve shown,
you sure have kissed the Blarney Stone!
Are you just trying to be sly?

Real soon now in the by-and-by,
they’ll close this pub down.  Sweetie pie,
lean in a bit, and if you’re prone. . .
Kiss me!

Green smiling eyes should tell you why;
I simply want to satisfy
this sweet sensation which has grown
between us strong as the cologne
you’re wearing; Baby, don’t be shy. . .
Just kiss me!...

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heading to Blarney Castel to get me some....
Cork, Ireland, here I come!
To give the Blarney Stone a kiss,
means I will be a more persuasive miss

I can hardly contain my joy, with my new blips
new flattery will gently flow from my lips.
I have always wanted the gift of gab.
It’ll be the best day when I meet the slab.

Blarney Castle, get ready to pucker up.
I am ready to change my luck and my cup.
Hold me upside down, let me give you a kiss.
I am going to Cork, hope I won't miss!...

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Cian careen into Quigley's Pub
for a little Irish whiskey and sub
before long dancing
an Irish jig romancing 
the wee fawning lassies lap club

lassies hooting and flapping being bold
with blarney about his pot of gold
money he was countin
while lassies were mountin
full of craic, pole dancing, and few handholds


much Irish brew a sot Cian became
I'm takin my money you can't blame
when he got to his lair
pot did he held bare
shame he did claim but himself to blame

3/26/2017...

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