Short Attorney Poems

Hot Springs of you
Never underestimate
The power of attorney...

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How could that electric fence fail?
A mad dog’s chomping my tail
Because of this sting
My attorney will bring
An action delivered by mail...

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New Attorney General William Barr
Faced down the Senate's self-appointed czars
   Yet for doing his job, being brave
   He may just have dug his own grave...

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A Jewish attorney, Raskolnikov,
his Buddhist half-brother, Kaletnikov,
now here comes the bother,
they mimic each other,
so who gets 'good health!' or a 'mazel tov?'...

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   I'm just a typical working bloke
          Who went to court for taking a toke
      My brief, my attorney
         And my financial journey
I lost now I'm totally broke...

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Arnold Crane was obsessed with his journey
He had been a rich Wall Street attorney --
   He had peered in his soul
   Found tobacco's charcoal --
Came to grips with himself on a gurney...

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Yesterday my attorney once again patiently reminded me
Legal battles are not fought to win,
they invite us to not lose any more than we already have,
now that the battle lines are so impatiently drawn....

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Stagnant water,flush of toxin.Stay away you lethal dose.Crippled baby.Was it the
poison?Maybe.Who is to blame?Our child attorney,the money he claimed.Filter needed,enemy
defeated.We left this polluted place....

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"Jacoby & Meyers" -  gave me a pale
Round bellied attorney with pony tail
 "Cash Only !" asking so far
After four weeks - got disbarred
Oranges fly between bars in Palmdale...


for Carolyn's Limerick Contest on Lawyers...

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Legal eagles or vultures?
Alimony and divorce
Wills
Your problem is in their best financial interest
Enduring power of Attorney
Representing you at a exorbitant fee
Stay away from them if you can!


Jan Allison
6th May 2016...

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To Hell In A Gurny

We had been going on a long journey;
After a while we saw another attorney;
Same old song;
Done no wrong;
Was being wheeled to hell in a gurney.

Jim Horn

It must be hard to tell a lie with your
teeth closed. Wonder if he ever bites
his tongue....

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The Woes of a Househusband

There once was a rich attorney named Joyce.
She fought for women's lib with a strong voice.
Her husband raised their baby.
And cleaned their house like crazy.
As she approached the bar, he lost his choice.

© August 26, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen...

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Once I thought 
I’d find the
future fraught. 

But luckily
Yale said I ought
earn their J.D.
I’ll soon be taught! 

Paralegal’s glee!
My doubts were for naught!
Soon I am to be
what hard work has wrought:
a keen attorney. 

12/22/2023
Written for Joseph May’s contest...

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I once knew a sleazy man, J. Ernie,
J. was a wild abusive attorney.
       Killed his mob boss client,
       looking so defiant-
Man was lucky all the cops were dirty!



* I chose lawyer *

Limerick II Contest
Joseph May
10-10-6-6-10 syllable count
howmanysyllables.com
January 13, 2019...

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Tomorrow’s the day, you’re going away
To play your own game, satisfaction’s your aim
Time went so fast and what was is now past
It will be strange not hearing your name
Wish you the best, peace and success
As you trek on the road of life’s journey
And remember this
If you’re ever in a wreck 
I know a good attorney...

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Senator Has Been Bernie Sanders

There is a senator who has been Bernie;
Who ended up going on a long journey,
And about lady,
Something shady;
For wife would have to hire an attorney.

Jim Horn

Back in Jane's Burlington College days
in Vermont things were becoming very 
suspicious. No wonder he has to be an
independent....

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12 Jurys
1 Judge
1/2 a chance walking free tonight
10 years
1 pen
5 years probation
2,000 dollar fine
1 man waiting to hear
1 attorney tring to get him free
2 court dates up ahead
15 minutes for lunch
2 times I've got sick
1 crime committed
1 chance to go home
3 hours the verdicts in
10 years of my life 
Time to serve for 1 crime committed...

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two pinches of nurse with a hint of doctor
sprinkle in the tenacity of an attorney then
stir briskly until smooth and thoroughly kind
 
grease the pan for speed of thought and ease 
of removal for when the heat is too much
bake to superhero perfection until
emergency ready and cape willing
 
when finished decorate with bows and gowns
wrapped with smiles and don't mess with my child eyes...

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MY JURY

Representation of my Pierian spring,
Attorney of my indelible ink,
An old woman does not get tired
in the dance she knows best;
Life's court sent forth for my jury:

Evidence speaks louder than doubts -
When a child eat a palm fruit
his teeth shows evidence.
Pen is mightier than guns
But my ink is as costly as blood.

VickWizzy
Vick Manuel Poetry {VMP}
Copyright © May, 2020....

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Hate
(From my archives)
Posted: 8/20/21

Hate,
is a horse
that only bucks down its rider.
It never affects
the intended cowboy,
sitting on the fence.
Tom


&


The flames of hate
burn only the dwelling
where hate is housed.

It’s flames seldom reach
the intended house down the street;

Being consumed with hate
is like giving power of attorney
to the hated.
Tom
...

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His client had a leg amputation

   Oops! Wrong leg due to miscalculation

      His client wanted to sue

         But as the attorney knew

            No leg to stand on for litigation

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 2 in Carolyn Devonshire's "Lawyer Limerick" Contest - August 2010

(Last line based on the old saying "You Ain't Got A Leg To Stand On")...

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He mentioned that she was beautiful.
He mentioned, perhaps too eagerly,
that she was kissable.

He touched her
(as he would a sculpture)
needing a tactile communion.
He simply wanted to curve
where she curved,
to hold lightly the blessing.

She pulled away affronted.
She phoned her attorney.
She threatened harassment.

He stood back still admiring her,
wishing only that life
were a more perfect mimic
of art....

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God always hinted
What we did He consented
to church se sprinted

went on long journey
while God was our attorney
our sins would bury

when we would grapple
God did give us an apple
took with to chapel

we looked way out far
Saw God who is shining star
in Carolina tar

born in land of free
God was like a shining sea
flowing over me

while sitting on shore
God made rain which would pour
He made more and more...

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Obi-Wan Kenobi's lesser known brothers:

The womanizer, Don-Wan

Founder of the Puerto Rican Capitol, San-Wan

The divorce attorney, Nobody-Wan

The Chinese Food chef, Sesh-Wan

Inventor of plastic bottle caps, Scru-Wan

Designer of compact luggage, Stow-Wan

The lazy nomad, Bed-Wan

The eternal encourager, Go-Wan

The coupon-clipping twins, Buy-Wan Get-Wan


[Humor attribution: all humor by yours truly]...

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Bring your tear in the desert of mine
In my soul I am always alone
Crash that castle of sadness and cry
Breathe in face and I’ll try to go on.

And perhaps paradise will wait
Maybe skies will present their bless
Or attorney as merciless fate
Will betray us for hellish press.

And in unity, I will be yours
Without you I can lose own soul
Bring your tear in the desert. Of course,
You should breathe in my face through my call....

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