The sun sets leaping in fierce golden shafts
As days shift shorter with Winter’s warning
We seek emblazoned fires from the chilled drafts
That glaze windows from iced winds each morning
As twilight falls stale dead leaves swirl rifting
Barbed smells of Pine and Tannin Oak scent streams
From forest floor fumes in brisk air hinting
Drab pumpkin, peach and tawny spiced Fall dreams
Sit quietly, watch dusk’s seasonal show
November’s clouds spangled in etched fire stun
When a portrait clad in sheathed splendor flows
A palette of Fall woods under brazed sun
That bring us grand tidings of this season
Where peace reigns and war has little reason
Owl eyes break as dimming light worms about,
Hollow clap surrenders a sparked ribboning,
Escapees breakout from their misty cells,
Wakes of earthen prints puddling,
Harbored ills bade sanctuary,
A glassy millpond beholds the begotten,
Abrupt warming tempts the absence,
Stirred tea sweetly idling,
An archer colorfully tools the realm,
Directives wondering,
Vibrant life answering,
A stranger to loneliness,
...I felt like being alive.
God saw me sheltering
in the darkened end
of my cocooned life,
and He said,
Come out beautiful creature,
I want you to fly.
Alone in my mind
Dangerously dangerous
Expecting the worst
Even though I teach other to never do this
Expecting to be rejected
Night air might revive me
But I stay inside, with the lights out
Dark shades cover my windows of happiness
I squelch any semblance of joy
I do not deserve it
My feelings have slid down the bad hill
Are now lying in a muck of pure disappointment and despair
This sheltering-in-place is killing me.
KILLING ME!
Alone in my mind I imagine others
Living their lives as usual.
Status quo.
Not hiding inside quivering
Dying two years before they need to.
Dying from pure evil loneliness
And depression
Because I am brazenly alone.
Sheltering in place my heart grows empty
This person’s faded out in my memory
Surprised that her name on screen puzzled me
No way I can send a care-laden greeting
The visage of old time has turned dusty
The fragrance of fallen spring flowers escaped me
I never thought anyone could be that annoying
But we never had to be quarantined before
It seemed like ten years
So far it is ten days
And I am ready to tear my hair out
Week six
I thought we loved each other
I can barely look at him
He put the last roll of toilet paper in his bathroom
I am so over this pandemic
Week twelve
Here he comes again
The slapping of his bare feet has annoyed me
I can barely stand to hear him patter into the kitchen
He jumps when I call his name
He understands then
It is just a matter of time
Until his death.
Home is where
She is under his gun
***
Is it fair that I take and hold my love in wait? I give it to you, you store it away again and again. Put away to keep as your own, never with you but with me. I sat on many occasions burying in my many questions with how? Why? Or when? I alone felt love seeping through breaking free wanting to love as a whole rather than love in pieces or tucked between the veins hidden behind my heart as it withers away. Never in full bloom alive long enough, just once to feel the rays of the sun. And you again sheltering my love in innocence holding on to what was left. Waiting alone with love stuck some where between every hello and goodbye. And for a moment love was everything I'd imagined as a child but that was long ago. I love to love what never stays long enough to love so I may turn around and go and I still be in love with a younger version of myself much older, simple, and free.