Shaver Poems | Examples

Such a Shaver On Best Behavior

such a liitle shaver
always on best behavior
our Lord and Savior

now a new neighbor
when she went into labor
saw a light shining amber

cold and did shiver
when our child would deliver
became believer

On the Road To Ruin

You know the road to ruin
    Quit your job, sleep all day
  Wake up at night, video games play

  Stay in your pj's 24/7
    Pizza, fries and Coke consume
  You're on the road to ruin

  Never see a doctor
    Ditto for the dentist
  Pay January's rent in June
    You're on the road to ruin

  Throw away your shaver
    Your toothbrush and your comb
  Now that your life's completely ruined
    Post this sign ~ 
      Welcome to my former home

Reserata Carcerem Lxii

Went a shrewd shaver t' moaning monk
ñ a dark day's hurled hay tactic ton.
''f felon feast b' a callous cod thrown,
sate h', robed 'n  gaunt grief, girdle ''f gloom 'n' throe.

"Go to, why wrapped in throbbing thoughts?
Why thy instinct with jeff joy fought?
Anon come a nocturnal nymph
t' bruise his breath - gullible gores t' dig."

Ergo rerouted moaning monk
gaunt grief, throbbing throe 'n' callous con.
"Send not this sinner's breath astray.
Address the nymph, I'll return t' pray."

Whence, quit moaning monk his  voyage;
Sly shaver tamed his keen knowledge.
       '20:07:31:20:41

Note:
a) of moaning monk.
b) Written apace with the Modern English lexis:
i) cod - man
ii) Jeff (circus) - a rope
iii)Ergo - then
iv) Whence  (literary) - then
c) The following are used with no syllabic consequences:
i) t' - to
ii) ñ - no
iii) ''f - of
iv) b' - by
v) h' - he
vi) 'n - in
vii) 'n' - and
viii) t' - to

Porous Pupils' Plight

eerie vision vied
pluming perforated plights
dark dribbles dug
masticating munching mug
hoisted hankerings smothered
felon zeal fostered

moaning mist cloned
thorn ocean thrown
gloating gaunt glows

salient shaver sucked
la-de-da lures lust
wielded wits gulped

airy alakazam ailed
porous pupils' plight
      '20:05:13:18:47

Note: Of porous perception.

Trailing Snoop's Trot

moaning moon munched
by taunted tongue -
gaunt gloom thrust
felon fate flung -
leered lanky lurch
shunned sassy verge

met tuning tree
crumbling crescendos' spree
porous path's plea

saucy swing strapped
tamed tactic trance
dribbling dark dance

shrewd shaver tossed
trailing snoop's trot.
      '20:04:24:19:32

Note: Of plagued picture.

Rondure Creeps Revered

eerie contractions etched
fostering fractured fetch
poring punctured pulses
worn winds wield
felon feigns drooped
hoisting hankering drools

bruised barks moaned
heaving sigh sown
by blitzkrieg enthroned

dark diminuendo dribble
cupping callous cripple
nocturnal nature nimble

spunky shaver severed
rondure creeps revered.
    '20:04:04:11:30

Note: Of vying vision.

My Hero

Don't toy with my feelings, to die for you am willing.
Just one touch from you is so electrifying you make my life wealth living,
I can feel your love so strong like the power of a lightening.
When u get closer I shaver, my knees get weaker yet am dying to be in your arms forever,
A minute without u, am mute I gasp for air come back my life giver, 
Don't blow me off like a cyclone, I can't bare being alone
Don’t be gone for too long, I miss your caress running down my spine as your love shines.
I love the way you undress me, how you get under my night dress to woo my body,
With your fingers caressing my hips, curves, lips say the words “te amo mami”
You put me in the mood making me feel so good, you set my soul on fire I burn with much desire.
You know how to touch me right, how you hold me tight; you make me feel so alive, how you dive in; I feel u inside me.
We become one, we are inseparable. Our love coming to end is impossible, how we mingle like butterflies in our tummies.
It’s lovely, bravely you my hero. My superhuman I love you always.

How To Love Is Learned Behavior

How To Love Is Learned Behavior

How to love has been learned behavior;
Jesus always will be our Lord and Savior;
Crucified on cross,
And still see moss,
And while child sure was a cute shaver.

Jim Horn

Not a Life Shaver

my beard
is becoming
comfortably

longer
longing
to become

perfectly
numb

Jesus Has Been In All of History

Jesus Has Been in All of History

Let us all hear a great story,
About Jesus with joyful glory,
Little shaver;
Still my savior;
Know did go down in history.

Jim Horn

Crabby Morning

Crabby morning

He looked down into the toilet bowl 
had shat and flushed, 80-year-old  going to waste
down a drain and into the sea.
70 years ago when he lived on a farm human and
Animal waste was used as a fertiliser the waste had
been useful potatoes grew big as did cabbages.
He had read the Chines collected stuff dried it and
Made it into powder and sold for strawberry farmers.
He had a shower and shaved, used proper blades
no electric shaver for him, he hadn`t drunk coffee
yet and was cranky.

Trump Is a Close Shaver

Trump Is A Close Shaver

Trump is firmly fixed and will not waiver;
He has orange hair and is a close shaver;
To our dismay,
He went astray,
And thinks he is clever in each endeavor.

James Horn

Should have understood from the start,'
Trump never knew how to play the part;
Not meet demands,
With small hands;
On a platter to Devil did deliver hos heart.

Fake News To Trump Supplied

With no one's orders has Trump ever complied,
While we would wait until his orange hair dried;
Heard his sound;
A moron found,
And with more fake news he had been supplied.

Jim Horn

Trump On Vacation In Paris

What Trump likes to do is embarrass,
People visiting on a vacation in Paris;
Women courted,
Who had aborted;
Nude under golden shower on a terrace.

The Car

Where does the money subtly go?
every month it simply disappears;
a bit here, forth to and fro
a bit there too, oh! my dear!

My ciggs' are under much control
they don't tax me a hundred fold;
i can't believe the things i've sold
so where in fact, does the money go?

Just yesterday the price of fuel went up
petrol's hike is understood;
i can accept this much enough
i also spend on drinks and food.

i buy a shaver once a month
that's normal, it keeps me very smart;
even loans i get, is put up front
i don't eat pancakes or even tarts! 

My shoes are only bought once a year
they last me thru' the harshest time;
my socks and buttons are all not dear
my budget should suit me very fine.

So then i look into the bucket list
lo! and behold! the car repairs;
they weigh a ton, i cannot miss
all used up once, that seems unfair.

So now i know where the money goes
it's maintenance and much of car parts;
no more mystery, the money flows
away from me, that breaks my heart!

Okay Love

Dear Robert
          I'm enclosing the warranty
                     for your shaver In case
anything should happen
          I've circled the address
                     where to bring it

Dad still isn't feeling
          well and is going
                     this week to the doctor I can't
imagine
          what can be wrong -
                     but I'm really getting concerned

Oh!
          by the way
                     did you mail
that letter
          to the bank
                     I hope
so

Today
          we are going to a wake
                     for Phyllis Spina.
She died
          on Saturday -
                     acute leukemia.

Your brothers are fine
          they're off -
                     Yom Kippur
All else is
          okay Love
                     Mom

The Jester Jack Hour

Hey everyone... do you know what time it is!!!

It's time for The Jester Jack Comedy Hour

Brought to you by "Hair Today... Gone Tomorrow!"

The makers of fine electric shavers

Now I know what you're thinking, I have a beard

Why would I need an electric shaver

Well, I have very hairy arms and legs

A massive hairy chest and arm holes

As well as very bushy eyebrows and ear holes!

Now on to the show... have you heard this one

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

Give up???...  A STICK!

Got a million of 'em

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

Dum de um dum!

More? Okay...

Do not argue with an idiot... he will drag you down to his level

Then beat you with experience!

Here's another... graveyard workers really dig their jobs

A real groaner!

Da de da de da da... da de da de da da

Well that's all the time we have folks!

So be sure to tune in next time

To The Jester Jack Comedy Hour!



© Jack Ellison 2014

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