Revised Poems

The Lords Prayer Revised in Poetry

Our Father who art in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name...
thy Kingdom will come, on earth
as it is in heaven, holy...

'provide' us with our daily bread...
forgive us our trespasses, forgive...
us those that trespass against us,
lead us not into temptation for redemption

       "deliver us from all evil amen"

The Dragon, Platypus and Unicorn - Revised

I

A dragon, platypus, and unicorn,
drank in a bar and soon locked horns.
The air was tense - would it come to blows?
The unicorn spoke, "Which one knows
a truth which he dares to conceal?  
One of us is... disgracefully real."

II

"It's a sad state of affairs - is it not,"
said the dragon, "when one of us is caught". 
Sweat broke out in little beads 
on the platypus forehead of evil deeds.
In a fate worse than he had feared,
the platypus simply disappeared. 

Revised Nursery Rhyme No 3 - Little Miss Tough

        Little Miss Tough
        Sat on her duff
           whining ‘bout ‘The Amerikan Way’

         Along came a missile
         She heard it whistle
           She's now Little Miss 'P'
                     ~ for Patriot

Revised Nursery Rhyme No 2 - Capital Capitol Expose

     Old Joe and Jill went up to Capitol Hill
     Stayed four years, longer than they had-oughter 
         Then Old Joe came tumbling down ~
      As she scavenged the carcass for his crown 
      The DEI VP's heart exposed as stone after



        DEI = Didn't Earn It
          VP = Vice-President, Kamala Harris

Revised Nursery Rhyme - Mary - Bitesize Contest

      Mary ate a great big ham
        her gills turned white as snow

      So, to the bathroom Mary went
        ‘cos up she had to throw 




    Entry in Bitesize Contest No. 117
          Sponsor: Line Gauthier
               July 08, 2025

Night’s Serenade - revised

                                         a
d    n    i    g                   t* * * r
  a    c    n       on       s * * * * * s 
                                       * * *    
                                          *           


s                        g             
  w                   n                          n
      i    n   g   I               on the m     o
                                                   o
                                                      
                         L          Y                  
  the night    P          A          S        o n * * * * * * * * *

Randomly Revised

J-oint
O-peration's
I-ntention
N-ecessarily
A-pplies

J-ustified
E-dit,
A-s
N-ame's

D-econstructed
E-xpression

L-ooks
E-xact
O-r
N-atural

©bfa042825
Monocrostic (Birthday of Joina Jean De Leon)

A Mating Dance -revised

For a significant length of time,
    they swim in synch.
  Then rapidly fluttering their fins
like the wings of hummingbirds,
                                                     n    
                          two sea horses  s      i
                                                    p     
  swirling and swirling together 
               as two         become  
                                                   one

One Minute Man revised

A bouquet of blossoms
The calmness in the forest
I felt his one eye willy against my ribs
In a nanosecond, he became a minute man
Was this a midwinter dream?
I smile and then I kiss his neck,
he whispers, honey,
I hope that you are not upset,
Darn!  I was so ashamed of this
One minute man,
Viagra is all I can truly say to him
Old men, old men

Rags -- revised

holding on to illusions
trying to make it through
fevered dreams reflect fantasies
scattered threads permeate reality
this state of delusion
a symptom of the confusion
calling from the void

the angels shone with silver
their furs stuffed in a sack
lying upon cloudtops
but ignorant of their rags
seeking to reach the sky
he thought he could fly
but those born soaring
never needed to try

holding on to illusions
trying to make it through
fevered dreams reflect fantasies
scattered threads permeate reality

in silent despair
dragged down to hell
broken by breathless prayer
seeking salvation
the holy creation
unity of man
was there ever a plan?

Splinters -- revised

like splinters in the mind
thoughts that cannot be left behind
faded memories of self
like a photo on a shelf

behind that glassy shine
you're frozen forever in time
reality is divided
as the flotsam rises
like shards of broken glass
the shadows of the past
cutting you into two
marching onward to your doom

marching onward to your doom

you, 
were fed from the bowl that they showed you
were bred to do what they told you
you, 
marched in a line to a sleeping beat
you,
thought the world was at your feet
X2

You've seen places you'll never be
heard things you'll never see
you
tossed a coin and rolled the dice
for
A chance to play in paradise

fighting against the tide

in the struggle to survive
to get back to where you began
up the stream to your end
from dust to ash
it's just another rehash

down the line you were led
your fears turned to dread
they told you you were free
they told you what to be
they told you what to see

The Girl Who Cried Wolf Revised

She cried out for attention—was it really a game?
Or was it the only way they’d remember her name?
Her voice, an echo, lost in the night,
Drowned by indifference, swallowed by spite.

Her grandfather’s eyes, heavy with shame,
Saw only a liar—never the pain.
She was a burden, a whispered regret,
A shadow of sorrow he’d rather forget.

Lonely, broken, battered, and bruised,
A soul left to wither—discarded, misused.
Comparable to fruit left to decay,
Softened by wounds, wasting away.

But if they’d listened—if they had seen,
Would she still be trapped in a silent scream?
Or was she always meant to fade,
A ghost in the home where she was made?

Conversation with the devil Revised part 2

The unkiss of life don't sell your soul 

Go find your soul the final kiss goodbye 

A Conversation with the Devil of 2025 
Mad as thunder, kiss like thorns, blood like blackberry wine, fallen angel charms and looks with smell of Smokey quartz ash, with orange blossom flowers, with white Roses and honeysuckle dreams, and a Ocean Salty Beach scent with a hint of regret of his old former life with is Tom Ford Suit with Signature gloves and Italian shoes with a candy Red shiny apple waiting by Check-in with the twinkle in his eye to claim your soul with contract ready as you make a deal with the devil right hand women Lady S and assistant as he sip his tea off of lava rocks as he offer you a hell fire pen and he seal it with one tear with a Newest emoji of 2025 and as he exit the trumpet are playing in back as he open a secret door to begin your processing to going the devil clan and that final look back to single year and say goodbye to your old life and name.

Displaced--The Trail of Tears --- REVISED

Time Period~~1830-1850

	
As rain falls hard and soaks the ground
and thunder roars its mighty sound,
so tears of the displaced may fall,
our cries bespeaking dearth and pall.

The Deep South tribes of long ago
were forced to forge a trail of woe,
of death and want, with goods so small,
our cries bespeaking dearth and pall.

We Cherokees were brought to tears
when forced from land we'd held for years,
no longer standing strong and tall,
our cries bespeaking dearth and pall.

The rugged journey thousands made
to Westward land should never fade
from memory. All must recall
our cries bespeaking dearth and pall. 

   on behalf of our tribe, the Cherokees, and the many other tribes
   who were displaced

Recognition - revised for a missing line

Line of Inquiry:

“Mistaken that I was this body-mind,
I succumbed to desire and fell to fear
but on choosing pathways loving and kind,
light of God in heart began to appear
and truth of my true essence became clear,
which made in God’s image, is living light,
gripping us in rapture of bliss delight.”  - Unseeking Seeker


Oh to rid oneself of human weakness,
let go of fears and not give in to lust.
Oh to see the finish of one’s bleakness
by putting in God’s hands one’s total trust.
To open up clarity’s sweet portal
and understand God’s truth should be the goal
and strive to be more than a mere mortal.
Oh to really feel God in one’s soul!
The year is ending; let me wisely choose
the path of love and kindness – God’s own way.
A person gains when he’s prepared to lose
self-centeredness. For all mankind I pray
we recognize God’s light and let it shine -
to bring a world of bliss – God’s peace divine.

• Short Revised Poems
• Famous Revised Poems
• Best Revised Poems
• Read Revised Poems
• Long Revised Poems
• Revised Quotes