Funny Prayer Poems | Examples
These Funny Prayer poems are examples of Prayer poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Prayer Funny poems written by international poets.
Here I stand, a godless monk
Without account, my soul is sunk.
My name won’t make the Book of Life
’Cause I’ve been such a cruel ex-wife.
I cursed you in a thousand ways
(There’s been no “high” in holidays.)
The one with whom anew you’d start:
I wished she’d crush your faithless heart.
I hoped in Leadville the spill you’d take
Would leave your back with chronic ache.
A gleeful anticipation would start to thrive
While imagining you cut a wire live.
So, here’s my prayer, albeit unholy:
I wish my thoughts were a bit less lowly.
If I can’t be good, at least I hope to find God
So I can achieve a peaceful facade.
Though rage may be slow to subside,
This year I hope to turn the tide.
While never shall I wish you well
Next year, no longer I’ll hope you in hell.
You came for me and I am still flourishing
Obstacles were once on my path now they they are destroyed in my favor
How funny it is to be a golden alchemist
cycles of depression and suffering I transmute so quickly and masterfully
into more of my blessings, I keep on growing and I keep on flourishing
how funny it is to be, a golden alchemist.
"How about it daddy,"
show me the way,
how you roll that paper,
you make it slay.
"How about it daddy,"
you smell so funny,
is that the reason,
you look so crummy?
"How about it daddy,"
you sleep all day,
you seem so grumpy,
I think you should pray.
"How about it daddy,"
Is it true what mommy say,
that you love smoking,
more than you love yahwey.
The Lord’s Prayer in sign language is so beautiful
It’s like a fuchsia finger ballet in blue ocean air waves
If you do watch this display you are blessed
The way you speak to yourself and God
Is important and unique
like a fingerprint on your red heart
Whatever you want to say is okay
So how do you say I’m amber afraid
Of lavender life as a turquoise wife
To a magic man my mind made Mr Right
Not that he is not great
But how do I say he is not my mate
For this reason alone
Cupidity somehow was wrong
And I feel uninspired despite fire sign
And just like that I am over it
My muse is back to her old tricks
I won’t tell her to hit red bricks
She is my companion thin or teal thick
I really love love but it’s just not here yet
No need to worry be in a hurry or fret
How do you say more by saying less
I will give myself flowers and live my best
Life
So out of the three pursuing kings
I choose ME
“Hey Cupid, hollered the Saint,
bringing me couples, ya ain’t!”
Cupid answered, “So what?
Ya just get what ya got.
Don’t mix prayer with complaint.”
silent prayer (Haiku)
Lord hear my prayer
The words I want to hear now
Under the B...2!
Another day another dollar I pray.
Blow the dollars and you will pay.
Count your pennies or do a giveaway.
Dollars could be at bay.
E-banks were all the trend until they went away.
Funny money no more payday.
Gosh what more can I say.
Date Written: 5/6/2020
ABC Rhyme
Heavenly Father, today I have decided to pray
Mother said, I need to obey
I need to take time out to learn too pray as I like to disobey,
She said too much of my time is spent on play
I should ask for guidance and pray
That no one leads me astray
By the way can I ask for a car and a sleigh for my birthday.
Let's Strive
To Better One Life
By: Tom Wright
12/7/98
Today, Let's try to make for someone,
their world a better place.
Through some small thoughtful gesture,
or mere smile upon our face.
Be it in a line of a cheerful note,
or through some funny card.
Letting one know they're thought of,
or that they're missed shouldn't be hard.
Perhaps to, God, a word of prayer,
on their behalf we'll air.
Or maybe as that one has need,
we'll simply show we care.
Just a simple errand may be all,
that someone needs this day.
Just make it known to us, Lord,
and we'll be cheerfully on our way.
It may be for that someone,
fighting depression or in despair.
That, God, has chosen us to be,
their special friend and care.
We'll give without remembering,
so praise, one will not owe.
For from Your Word we're taught,
we always reap just as we sow.
What ever we may encounter this day,
let's retain Joy within each heart.
Giving praise to, God, throughout it all,
for allowing us some small part.
God knows what you need
Before you need it
So why bend your knees
To chant or plead it?
Remember when you
Would make such a fuss
Each time your mum asked,
"Clean knickers for the bus?"
PRAYER
funny how silly,
lids closed,
talking to the dark.
~ but then lids flutter ~
eyes see the light
Kim Rodrigues © 2017
No one likes dead lettuce
It must be crisp and cool
And dousing wounds with vinegar
Is certainly not cruel!
For Vegans can not see
Why lettuce choose to be
On a different frequency
Than Donald Trump might be
A salad will pass away
Shivering with cold today
Disgusted Vegans will say,
"I never heard lettuce pray"
Dear Lord
We give thanks to you
this day
for everything that we have
And for everything
that we do not have
and have asked you for
in the past
would you
please ask Santa to rush it
and get it here
by Christmas
Thanks Lord
I heard the whispers of the Mantis,
as I prayed, "My lord, please grant us
a moment’s peace from cricket calls
which echo always through these halls."
Said the Mantis:
Let's thank the maker for my head
which swivels round your evening bed
and for my vision, clear and bright
to hunt those crickets in the night.
I'll start at once, I'll catch them now
if you’ll not fear me, this I vow:
that what I find, I’ll grab and keep
that you, kind sir, might get some sleep.
With that I gave a sleepy nod,
then turned my thoughts back to my god,
but what a shock I had in store:
I'm the cricket - the chirps, my snore.
8/19/16
For Contest: Praying Mantis
Hosted by: Anthony Slausen
I read a pamphlet that asked if religion is dying, it's almost dead.
Religion may be gone forever in just a couple of decades ahead.
Religion is important to me because it's what America needs.
Jesus will return and when he does, he and his father will lead.
Donald Trump says that he can bring back prayer in schools.
I'm not crazy about Trump but if he can do it, that would be cool.
Children should be taught to pray so God won't be forgotten.
The thought of God disappearing from people's hearts is rotten.
We should always remember God because he will always remember us.
He will bless us if we worship him, he's the one who people should trust.
Now a days many people are non-religious, they refuse to acknowledge God and I don't think it's funny.
It wouldn't surprise me if the United States Government removes 'In God We Trust' from our money.