Uncle Jim brought his new girlfriend to our Christmas tree lighting
She was eager, enthusiastic, joyful, funny, outrageously exciting
When they lit the tree, she broke out in song and sang every verse
We all agreed that Uncle Bill had brought home girls much worse
If you break up, can we keep her? We asked him
He pouted the rest of the day, our crazy Uncle Jim
artistic crocodile refused to wear clothes right away
I will paint a camouflage instead, he used to say
his mother gave up, but his dad pouted a bit.
Thinking his son looked kind of like a nitwit.
Someone new to the Everglades made Artistic a movie star.
He was given a standing ovation, and that was just in the car.
His parents were given their own huge swamp in which to live.
His artistic soul and lovely talents continued to give.
Santa, Elf and Rudolph argued about -
Whose charisma Christmas can’t do without.
Santa bragged all human kind
Loves him as a mastermind.
Elfy turned green, Rudolph pouted his snout.
Elfy then struck a pose: “A cocky claim!
Despite the fact that all elves look the same,
Our gifts and toys are diverse
All around the Universe -
To rate our role just second best? For shame!”
Rudolph pranced on his dignity with pride,
Took his conceited co-workers aside.
Explained that without his sleigh
Gifts won’t see the light of day.
Neigh! And off he flounced for a joyful ride!
They would put their foot Into everything,
why not open your mouth and I'll give you a ping;
government is ousted, maybe freedom is related,
first time I kissed, I found all this hype was overrated.
L'amour for sure, I'm going on the guided tour,
I had an Eiffel but they just closed the door,
Sacre Coeur was a blur, I was clamouring for more,
Notre Dame burnt down but I still went, what for?
Montmartre licked me in the rain, a nice fountain,
your lips pouted, abnormal but became same again;
prefer to stay on the outside, just an english kiss,
but when you're offered an opening, too good to miss.
Al this writhing activity left me feeling rather weak,
but there was no need to worry, it was tongue in cheek.
My love was wrapped into gestures
Instead of words
Into concerns and nagging
Teasing and smiling
The sigh I gave in fondness
Whenever you pouted over something
When I remembered what mattered
Beyond days and nights
The favorite coffee, the way you slept
Not the product name
But I knew your soap smell
My love was wrapped into doing
Instead of saying
Leaving an extra blanket
An umbrella, a small question
Sparing a smile when I did not feel like
Pulling you tight, it will be alright
Patting your head in praise
Letting you stay or go
Whatever will let your rise
My love was wrapped bittersweet
Instead of angel like
You had to look to find
The sugary parts
Taste it thoroughly before
Leaving a mark
It carried a tinge that will last
Beyond the first touch
Like a faded mingle in future
Of a memorable past.
If I had a sunflower tub I could be nice Suzette said.
Her husband Lee believed her, for he is slow in his head.
He spent a bunch of time designing a glorious tub.
Suzette pouted a bunch, for she is a grouse-loving-slug.
Lee spent hours and hours but she was not ever sweet.
I would not make that tub for her, said Lee’s brother Pete.
But I love her Lee said, and she can be nice once a day.
Lee rolled his eyes, and swiftly drove far away.
Regal tulips in purple, blue and yellow
pink splendor ambled in sensuous glow
tantalizing rows of frenzy red capes
beauty swaying ...bouncing in waves.
Clustered far and wide, their pouted lips
flirting through a prism, beams of tulips.
demure dance and frolic, tempting kisses
spring gives birth...a rainbow of wishes.
The path I walk, so serene and divine,
This paradise I know will never be mine.
The McCormick family loves wheels
We like bikes, trikes, mopeds and motorcycles
We like Fords, Chevys, Lincolns and Cadillacs.
We are also racers.
Others watch the Indianapolis 500
We like driving like we just left the pit crew.
Our ancestors started us on this journey.
We were having a race on Wednesday
When grandma got on a moped.
I am going to outrun these cycles! She said.
“Let grandma win! Let grandma win! “ we all yelled.
Unfortunately, the little McCormicks are competitive like us.
They outrode, outraced and outran grandma.
The last one to the finish line, she pouted all day.
How many owls can I hold? I wondered as they appeared.
They were perched on each limb as the night rider neared.
I cannot handle this volume, the night rider said in a mean way.
But we promised them you would, I said. My mood was gray.
You should have asked first, the night rider said in a snippy voice.
He is the cousin of a neighbor of my sour great great Aunt Joyce.
I cannot accommodate them I told him. I was just waiting for you.
He threw up his hands and stomped off, his words turned the air blue.
“We can stay here,” the head owl told me in a sweet way.
You have always been welcoming to us each and every day.
The night rider left empty handed, and pouted a bit.
I thought it was humorous when he had his little fit.
How to tell a sixty-year-old he is going to be a new dad?
His seventh wife was a bit younger, only twenty-two actually.
He had a grandchild who was twenty.
The twenty-year-old and she got along great.
“Buy this onesie, and show it to him,” he suggested.
The onesie was a “Hi Dad” announcement.
It was a hit with everybody.
Except the eighty-year old grandmother
Upset that they made the announcement at her big birthday party.
No longer the center of attention, she pouted the rest of the night.
when we had doubted
many bad names were shouted
perturb and pouted
for words complete loss
that created much chaos
in bed turn and toss
rather repugnant
as well as being pungent
must be confidant
should see game scoreboard
see looked forward and toward
won when most points scored
Mars is showing off, Jupiter complained to Zeus.
Don’t share all your woes, Zeus said into his juice.
Jupiter is making fun of the rest of us, Mars pouted back.
Zeus rolled his eyes and said “make fun of him without tact!
That never works! Whined Mars, who is angry most of the time.
Neptune and Saturn were tired of hearing this planet whine.
Can’t you make him stop? Near-sighted Neptune to Saturn said.
How would I do it? Drop him out of the ether onto his head?
They chuckled at this and told Earth their little joke.
Earth rolled her eyes; she was sick of having nine brother folk.
I doubt that Dad cared, she said. Venus ran over to hear.
Mars was now as angry as ever, and plotting danger and fear.
Rembrandt was deliriously happy about the computer I brought.
He looked himself up and found things that he had long ago forgot.
Mary, my bestie, was peeking into my favorite Zig Ziglar book.
It is my turn! I told her. She argued “Just give me one more look.”
For lunch we had ham and beans with onions over cornbread.
Then we had iced tea. Mary pouted. She wanted coffee instead.
Cher’s Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves was playing on high.
This intrigued Rembrandt. He is a very musical guy!
We did a little dancing, then I took out “See You at the Top”.
I began to read it aloud, but Rembrandt asked me to stop.
I like reading a book for myself without all your inflections.
I was irritated by his bossiness. He did not win any affections.
She is so sexy!
She is adorable!
Look at that smile!
Look at those legs!
Thomas could not wait until she got closer.
He wanted to see this woman too.
When she did get right up to him she blew him a kiss,
And gave him a wink.
It was his daughter, Camelia.
When had she stopped being five?
He pouted the rest of the evening.
Comet, the oldest reindeer, wanted Santa to like him the best.
He pouted and was sad because of this need to top deer be.
Santa took him on a walk and they spied a robin’s nest.
That mother robin loves them all equally, do you see?
Comet was not able to understand, for an idea was in his head.
That no one would miss him if he dropped down dead.
Santa threw him a party, and all the reindeer gave a cheer.
Comet felt happier as he devoured hot pretzels and root beer.
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