Porker Poems - Poems about Porker

By 12

...By 12

By 12 I was
fully grown. My height was 
the envy of 
the short arses in 
my classes. I wasn’t a 
porker like 
some ... I was 
spared fat jokes. My level of 
pituitary activity was, w...

Porker The Stalker

...
I have a porker as a stalker; it keeps following me down the street
I cannot talk to my friends, as it keeps oinking when I try to speak

Doesn’t it have an owner it can go home to, and as leave...

Steampunk Pig

...Porker flies on the most amazing steampunk pig.
Little things happen, and no one makes them big.
Gears and bells are hanging off his snout and hoofs.
He makes some grunts, but no meows or whoofs....

Thought You'D Never Ask

...Forkaroon : I hear we are in for a big treat tonight forksie 
Forksie:    Oh Ya !  I was hoping for something exciting and juicy 
Forkaroon: I'm going to give you a little hint darlin, it once was ...

Flawsymay Mindgone

...Flawsymay Mindgone is here to play.
I look in the mirror and know I am in trouble today.
She roller skates in the house and puts mud on the floor.
She calls up the neighbors and runs nude out the ...

Delilah Stop That

...She is such a pretty porker the old sow said.
I thought you were too old for swine, said cousin Fred.
I may be tough, but I am certainly not dead,
She is a gorgeous gobbler, the old sow said.

W...

Rattler of Diet Tips and Warnings

...A strange woman blasted into the family reunion
Came in loud and crass; obnoxious. Showing off.
No one knew her.
I was selected to ask her to leave.
Mom! She said.
It was one of my foster childr...

For There Abide - An Ode To Bacon

...For there abide beef, pork and chicken
and the greatest of these is bacon
hot sizzling crispy to the tongue
satiating succulently scrumptious bacon.

For bacon curries no favor
plays the field ...

Five Fat Porkers

...Five fat Porkers

Five fat Porkers, in a Pig Sty
Eating Swill and Cabbages,
Grunting with a me oh my.

One of these Pigs called Emily,
Was taken out one day,
Now delicious rashers of Bacon,
...

Country Farmer

...I've a tractor in the garden and a tractor in the shed,
I've a tractor in the field and a tractor in my head,
Proud to be a country farmer, I'm outstanding in my field,
And a country farmer I will...

I Really Should'A Read the Fine Print

...
I really should’a read the fine print when I bought a ‘micro pig’
For this porker is enormous, surely it’s not meant to grow this big!

I really should’a read the fine print when I b...

Friday's At the Farout Mansion

...Best to get there early and don’t forget some food and drink.
It’s Friday again and time to celebrate.
It’s hat week, Carmen Miranda’s birthday, toga, toga, toga.
We all had another week taking ca...

Who Ever Made My Potty Had a Sense of Humor

...feeling holy every time i sit on the ring of the toilet 
labeled church for every one to see
my soul is less than clean as I lower the lid
to read the brand of the unit
porker I flush.
and if in...

Hope

...hope the driving force of the world
a mouse dropped in a vat of water with no chance of escape
circling the bucket to no avail will let itself drown
at the last minute picked by its tail to be sav...

San-Goanna Blue

...San-Goanna Blue

Morning Halliwell are you right?  {rhymer halliwell is 85}
or have your toes tucked up so tight,
are you with us or cantered through,
beyond the vale Saint Peters Zoo...

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