Somewhere back there, along the road
I made a wrong turn
Now the lord has sat me down
Cause it was my time to learn
Life's been a series of harsh lessons
I care less to pass every test
The blocker of my own blessings
Why do I settle for less
Less than what I deserve
Less than what I'm destined
You live my life while I observe
Plagued by second-guessing
Self-medicated to avoid
The pain that came with stressing
As a result, it only feels like
It's been days since adolescence
How is it that one changes directions
After trekking the wrong path
Knowing nothing fruitful awaits
In the rearview of your past
Moving forward only makes sense
How long did it take before you discovered
There's no sense in looking back
Only putting one foot in front of the other
The night stood,
veiled like a nun.
Wherever she looked,
She saw a hooded assassin,
staring at her with eyes like fireballs.
Leaving aside
the unfinished works,
she curled into bed, tired.
Thoughts once dead,
of that fearful night
like spirits, from another world
came
to haunt
her once again.
They threatened to lacerate her,
in the stillness of the night.
Gagged by those ferocious demons,
of fear,
she choked
for breath.
Chained and handcuffed,
she couldn’t move.
Should she drink to the lees,
the dregs
of the bitter potion
once again?
She couldn’t wink an eye.
Like serpents
u
n
c
o
i
l
i
n
g,
fears came.
If she slept, they would strike.
So, she kept staring,
into the awful
darkness, wide eyed!
"You do not think!
You do not learn!
You only play
With fire & burn.
You will not speak.
You will not cry.
You simply wait
For me to die."
Well, it is I
Have held my tongue
For all this time.
Now you are gone.
Now I am done.
Well, it is you
Whose Memory
Lives on in me.
No - Not memory.
Yes - Misery!
I was never good with words.
I was a quiet child.
She leads me down the road
Turns around and says that she’s not sure any more
Sometimes things go wrong
People change
Nothing stays the same
If only you could see
Hiding in the past won’t bring us back
It only causes pain
Something that will always remain
It’s better that you go now
Turn another corner
Change your name
Nothing stays the same
Tears for yesterday will still remain
But tomorrow will ease the pain.
Everywhere I turn,
a new memory visits—
a simple hair tie
sitting beside the hair clip
in the medicine cabinet.
A Bright Eyes t-shirt still lays at the bottom of the laundry basket.
The blue nursing uniform, and the pink stethoscope—marked with the initials “K.C.”—
a treasure,
a marking of a calling so great.
The letter from the hospital offering a placement
to a young, bright-eyed nursing graduate…
the “thank you,” and “love still lives here”—
a memoriam to a young life gone too soon.
A pink baby blanket, catching my tears,
lays by my side—
a comfort,
a promise
that was once a new beginning.
A gallery of pictures keeps your memory alive.
Plagued by memories of yesterday
when you were here with me.
Thank you for those memories
that will carry me forward—
until we meet again
in the big blue sky,
where every day I will hold you,
and the memory of the pain of losing you
will no longer torment me,
but will be a distant dream of a life
millions of miles away—
where my days were spent plagued by memories of you.
Everywhere I look,
you stare back at me—
a mini me,
gone too soon.
Plagued by the memories of insoluble illusions
that hang on the tapestry of yesterday
where mythological masks were worn
in another time, another place
and are relived in pictures
hanging on my mind's wall of sadness and loss
when dreams of moonlight madness
remind of love's longing
the remembrance of faces and places
stay in tortured realms, trapped in my soul
heartfelt reminders of crumbling bouquets
that turned yellow in their slow decay
of unrecognized existence, dissolving away from reality
that nothing lasts but memories
that come in the stillness like a rush of wind
before a storm brings a darker shade
of thoughts that echo through time
leading me to pause and remember
the emotional upheaval of lament
This, is where it began
A scream
Blood curdling
An amalgamation of acid and iron
Coagulates my blood
Mother
Instinct seizes
Heart racing
Legs race faster
Thoughts race out of hand
A gun to her head?
No time for weapons
Fists will do
Around the corner
My eyes catch glimpse
five golden corners
two solemn eyes
Mother
One word resounds
From shrieking lips
No
Over and over
Over
And
Over
That word
His badge
Her sobs
His gaze
Say one shrilling word
Her lover
My father
My father
Gone
Sitting in a rocking chair trying to recall the passing years
clutching a bible, he sits by the phone
for a voice to remind him he is not all alone
He can't help but wonder where the years have all gone
and questions his purpose as life carries on
He thinks of his family with great admiration
the laughter and love that built his foundation
Plagued by the memories forever in his mind
life has been good and the years have been kind
Grateful for the friends he met along the way
and thankful for the moments that took his breath away
He opens a window just to feel a gentle breeze
gazes out to see the world
and watch the falling leaves
Suddenly the phone rings and he is happy just to know
there is someone on the other end
that wants to say hello
I am plagued by memories
My eyes have seen things I will never un-see
I am plagued by thoughts that my mind continually harbors
Stuck in my mind, a prisoner in her quarters
I’m outside looking in
The farmer should’ve kept the healthy hen
But he let her run away
So I am plagued by memories
The person I used to be
I should’ve kept who I was
But I had to go and mess it up
I cut my own brakes
Now I go and make every mistake
I have done and said things that I can never take back
I put the own knife in my back
I am reminded of who I was
Would it be better if I was always like this?
Would it be better if I had nothing to miss?
But alas, I am plagued by memories
Cursed
I am plagued by things of the now: daily
physical aggravations for which
doctors have given me no cure.
Memories can’t afflict me
the way my body has
been bedeviled by
ailments which do
not even
have a
name.
I
suppose
I can say
the memory
of a physician
having injected me
four times with a substance that
gives some people dire side effects
haunts me to this day. Cursed is this world
by doctors who are meant to do no harm.
I promised myself
I wouldn’t cheat on you,
but I did—
because wherever I go,
it follows me.
Your place in me
is no longer yours alone.
You smile—
it's so damn pretty.
But I remember,
That’s how you smile that night.
You laugh heartily;
My heart skips a beat
Until I hear it laughing at me.
When we go to sleep,
I sleep beside both of you:
The you that I love
And the you that I wish I could forget.
You hug me tight
in the middle of the night—
because you miss me.
But it hugs me tighter,
the thing I can't forget,
as if it never left my mind.
So I shut my eyes,
hoping my thoughts would, too.
Morning comes,
and you kiss me hello.
It tastes so sweet...
until it tastes like what you did.
You whisper goodbye before work—
oh, how I wish it would leave with you, too.
The door shuts loud,
but its silence is louder.
Tears start to fall,
realizing won’t and can’t
are two very different things.
Memories
The happy ones are sad
The sad ones hurt
Ones that leave doubt lingering about
Memories of pain that drives you insane
Memories.
I think of happy moments and want to go back
I try to make the best of my life
But the best times seem to only exist in the past
Sometimes memories of hate invade
I remember the words of those who hurt me
The things they said that I know weren’t true
But the feeling of betrayal still remains the same
And then there are ones I try hardest to forget
The painful memories that scar me with regret
Haunting my mind as they lurk in the shadows
Whispering images that leave me sorrow
Memories
Painful and cruel
Bringing heartache and heartbreak
Reminding you of the laughter
Replaced with disaster
Memories.
Life is inherently challenging
Emotional memories,
leave deep traces
Unpleasant sensations,
from the past
A pre-existing element
of everyday life
An interconnected web of
experiences and events
Overwhelmed by emotions
It should never have happened
Unprepared,
for future ruminations
Can't control everything
There is no escape
Inevitable,
getting rid of the memories
- Ongoing,
twenty-four hours a day
With unexpected stressors
and challenges
Each of us
carries an imprint every day
Chained in memories,
will I ever be free ?
The patient's prognosis, pretty bleak,
a doctor's mindless laughing shriek,
an impression or a ghost so vague,
a gavel pounding in The Hague,
is it memory's plague?
I can never see it or understand.
Am I the patient? My brain is scanned.
It's sometimes near and far, you see.
Everywhere it follows me,
brings me to my knee.
A mad, psychotic, jangled melody,
lyrics without a remedy,
again, and again and again,
I feel every kind of pain.
They tell me I'm insane.
You taunt and tease me, while I can't place
you. Ghastly spirit, show your face.
Laughing hellhound floating free,
demon memory, are you the key
to my sanity?
PLAGUED BY MEMORIES
Some memories shimmer but don’t last
Yet others put down roots so very deep
Creating versions as dreams when sleep
And earn their place that they can keep
In the mind’s timeless universe, so vast
They cause an outbreak, like the plague
Hidden for years, then total devastation
Much more than any mere perturbation
One can wonder about their motivation
Always sharp focussed, and never vague
It’s torture, just explain it to me, please
The stuff of nightmare, but whilst awake
Tell me, just to stop, what would it take
Some blessed relief, for Goodness’ sake
Or am I still to be plagued by memories
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