Humorous Personification Poems

        





I have a parrot PAUL who is SpanisH
and his female PAULA who is Italian...

When they start talking...

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Once we were a matching pair, some days we’d get downbeat
as we both couldn't abide the stench of sweaty cheesy feet!

Our male owner would pop...

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Fishing Holiday

A kingfisher sitting on the old harbour wall
Listening to the geese from the mud flats call
I'm here for some sea fishing until after the...

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I heard screams from those marked for a guillotine death
No compromises for their cries before taking a last breath
Words of repentance for dastardly crimes were...

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I’m always bolted to a floor
Often I live in a tiny room 
And when I hear the door lock
I pray they’ll spray some air perfume!

I...

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I was once pristine
Then my owner gave me work ~
I’m down in the dumps!

Covered in faeces
Just used to shovel horse poop
It’s such a crap job!...

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A frustrated poet had a paralyzed pen.
She wailed, “When you will move,when!”
The pen with sad eyes,looked up in dismay
“Mistress,my brain cartridge is empty this day.”

She...

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rub my butt with spices
baste my breasts with olive oil
slather my wings and things with sauce
butter my thighs, slow broil

	ah, the savory delights of a...

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,A Skunk’s ‘Tale’,

Twas a puzzling mid-summer’s eve
When I became acquainted with Steve
Bear with if you can
For Steve’s not a man
He’s an odd little skunk who...

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Electrical spark, you are nothing without me!
Brags arrogant spark plug, my cousin, Lee.
Distributor gets mad and keeps current back.
Cylinder gives spark plug a mighty ugly...

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Whenever I’m able I raid the bird table
I snap up some mealworms and go
The nearby house owner a bad tempered moaner
Berates me because I’m a...

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Five red pencils,
Fighing in the class.
First one said,
I am bigger than you are.
The second one said,
I am the strongest.
The third one screamed,
I write so well.
The...

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Psychology has crossed the line again.
It was firm, in the sand, but she did not care.
Philosophy rolled his eyes, pretending it was okay.
Incorporating the infraction...

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I am the most regal bird you’ll ever see in the land
With my spectacular plumage, I’m pompous and grand

My mate is quite dowdy as all...

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I'm the Big Dog—VY Canis Majoris
in the Big Dog constellation
that's why you still adore us

Howling loudly—I'm a star!
Among the biggest known to man
Distinctly visible from...

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