Humorous Personification Poems

I am puffed up. I am proud. My nose is cold.
Maybe the coldest in the competition.
I am healthy, and I am ready. Put me in...

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The barnyard was a twitter.
“She is walking pigeon-toed!”
“You should see it.”
“She thinks she is all that!”

I am dragged out to see.
After listening to them cackle...

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No other cats are blue.
Why me?
She is a weirdy-cat herself, this artist woman.
Her cartoon witches are laughable, and I am blue?
Uh-oh. Here she comes again.
Yesterday...

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I held this thing together,
I stayed strong around your airiness,
How wrong is it to be the one
that keeps us from precarious
collapse? “You are my rock!”,...

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Here she comes again,
That clip-happy, snippy crone who fancies herself a gardener.
What?
She is doing such a horrible job of it.
She clipped two of us unmercifully...

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Like a frowsy, dowdy
old housewife
I sit largely
unnoticed
stout and squat
a sort of kitchen sentry
rarely appreciated
until some minor crisis-

Cough, sniffle, stomachache
a particularly bad day
or fancy party...
then things...

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Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t hear what you said, 
What was it you had to say?
Instead of hearing a rainbow of thoughts, 
I heard a...

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I chase my tail, and bark happily, 
because my master has brought me today
I make friends all over the place, careful to speak 
in the...

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My mouth went running off today, I watched her sprint through the
Yard, scaring a butterfly.
There was a bunny, who did not notice.
She summersalted six or...

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Dear Santa Claws, for Christmas I’d like a new chew bone; I’ve been a real good dog this year; I don’t even bite the cat,...

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Dear Santa Claws, please bring me a new catnip mousey; my old one has so many holes that the nip won’t stay in and I...

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I type hard, I type fast, I type dirty, because my owner does not care.
There are papers over and under my keyboard. 
We are a...

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One day, Myopic Milo; went slithering across the street; and met with some misfortune; as a car, he tried to greet.

It really sent him flying;...

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Me and my mate we talk all the time, 
We talk when I get out of bed,
He’s the one that I see first thing in...

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Here I sit on the ocean bed
Just sifting mud and ooze,
But If it was up to me
It's not the life I'd choose.

It's dark down here,...

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It caught her when she didn’t expect, 
Attacking her in a tight whirl,
It came at her from out of the blue, 
To put her into...

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If I were you, I wouldn’t walk there
                 ...

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They’d never been tied, forever were loose, 
Whenever she walked around,
Always flapping all over the place, 
Flip flopping all over the ground,

Without a care for...

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I stand not alone, but grouped as ten
Here comes that big black ball again
I'm down, but not dead
Pulled up by my head
It's just not easy...

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Shhhhh, here comes the Warden
He’s just about to open the door, Frank

Well, that’s good ‘cause I’ve been in this slammer too long!
and, it way too...

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