Jan Allison Poet Personification

Notes About The Poem

G or T Personification Contest Sponsored by Joseph May 08/22/23

free images from Pixabay.com

 

Toilet

I’m always bolted to a floor
Often I live in a tiny room 
And when I hear the door lock
I pray they’ll spray some air perfume!

I doubt you ever would believe
The anus stories I could tell
About fetid foul flatulence
And its lingering dreadful smell!

When people get up off me
Sometimes they forget to flush
And I hate it when rude occupants
Leave the contents from their tush!

Some men never even lift the seat
Splashing me with yellow drips
I gurgle if their todger’s caught
When they’re pulling up their zips!

You can think that I’m just a toilet
But on me you can always depend
Some die whilst sitting on my throne
‘Cest La Vie,’ I’ll miss you friend!

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Jack Horne September 16, 2023 at 2:48 PM Ha ha ha, thanks for a good laugh, my friend x

Joseph May September 2, 2023 at 6:23 AM Lol, I enjoyed your funny poem Jan, Congrats on your win

Maurice Rigoler August 31, 2023 at 10:19 AM Hahaha! I've written many a humorous line /on what my rear drops from my behind. / I hope your forthcoming potty humor / will have you flushing more! / Maurice

Valsa George August 27, 2023 at 9:16 AM Jan, some are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, but you are born with laughing gas to make everyone giggle. The very idea of personifying a toilet has sparked off from your jocular and amusing brain. All the Best dear friend. Jan Allison August 29, 2023 at 10:28 AM thanks Valsa, I have to thank Lin lane for this idea, she suggested i did toilet or throne lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf August 25, 2023 at 3:46 PM Aw, this is good, cleansing --- urine, of course, is a disinfectant -- fun!! Thanks, Jan. ~ Yellow River Jan Allison August 29, 2023 at 10:27 AM lol thanks GW:-) hugs Jan xx

Miranda Hawley August 24, 2023 at 11:19 AM Wow! Never did I ever imagine that anyone would personify a toilet! Also nothing you said is wrong at all. I fully support your message. Jan Allison August 24, 2023 at 5:03 PM thanks Miranda, it was a lot of fun to write xx

Jerry Brotherton August 23, 2023 at 5:15 PM Your imagery is always so vivid. I thought I could smell your words, but then I realized that I farted from laughing so hard. Great one my friend, good luck with the contest. Jan Allison August 24, 2023 at 10:33 AM hahaha thanks Jerry:-) hugs Jan xx

Ilene Bauer August 23, 2023 at 12:49 PM this could only come from you, jan! hilarious, as always! best of luck in the contest... Jan Allison August 24, 2023 at 10:33 AM Ilene, I have to thank Lin for suggesting the theme to me!!!! the 8 verse poem will be saved for a toilet humour book lol:-) hugs jan xx

Paula Goldsmith August 23, 2023 at 11:55 AM A creative/fun ~ write/pictures. I enjoyed reading it. I needed a good laugh. Thanks... Have a great day............. Jan Allison August 24, 2023 at 10:31 AM thanks Paula:-) hugs Jan xx

John Lawless August 23, 2023 at 5:39 AM this could be retitled ...AN ODE TO THE COMMODE Jan Allison August 24, 2023 at 10:31 AM now that is a brilliant idea John lol:-) hugs Janxx

Tania Kitchin August 23, 2023 at 4:05 AM Jan, ha ha, love it, "I gurgle if their todger’s caught When they’re pulling up their zips", so funny! Hugs Jan Allison August 24, 2023 at 10:30 AM that's my fave line Tania lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen August 22, 2023 at 11:35 PM - O.m.g. ... we forget to be grateful for the work you really do ... only receive poo :))) - ... I miss you too - Best wishes :) - hugs Jan Allison August 24, 2023 at 10:30 AM thanks Anne-Lise, where would we be without our loo lol:-) hugs Jan xx

James Peranteau August 22, 2023 at 10:19 PM i got uh kick out uv this write dear poet (i'm thuh plumber) .... for thuh record Jan; i wuz raized to sit when draining it, and have raised my boyz likewize ;) have uh pleasant day/night....much love, james Jan Allison August 24, 2023 at 10:30 AM thanks James:-) hugs Jan xx

David Fisher August 22, 2023 at 5:20 PM Yes, that sounds like a day in the life of one of those things, with a twist of the hilarious! Jan Allison August 22, 2023 at 5:35 PM I had to remove 3 more stanzas lol i hadn't read the rules properly until i came to post it lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Malabika Ray Choudhury August 22, 2023 at 4:56 PM Wow! What a fun personification! Only you can do this, Jan, make us burst into laughter! Hugs ~ Mala Jan Allison August 22, 2023 at 5:35 PM thanks Mala:-) hugs jan xx

Tom Cunningham August 22, 2023 at 3:47 PM Lol, brilliant toilet humour Jan, I bet they could tell a story or two if they could talk, mind you their mouths are always full. Haha. Good luck in the contest. I hope you flush the opposition away. Tom Jan Allison August 22, 2023 at 5:35 PM thanks Tom:-) hugs Jan xx

David Kavanagh August 22, 2023 at 3:08 PM It just had to happen Jan, a personification of a toilet, well if we were ever in doubt what a toilet might say, here it is in all its glory, and gory detail, brilliant one, you’re lucky Joe is sponsoring this one, or it might of gotten flushed, great fun one for contest, cheers David Jan Allison August 22, 2023 at 3:20 PM LOL , yes I am thankful the sponsor has a sense of humour! I confess that I have to thank Lin for suggesting i wrote on the toilet theme - iof course I would NEVER have thought of doing it myself lol. The 3 additional verses were fun too, it was hard to choose which ones to use for this poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Lin Lane August 22, 2023 at 2:24 PM That second photo must be a killer for you with a butt cheeks view, poor toilet. Your toilet humor gets better with each write, Jan. You'll add the others after judging, I hope? Jan Allison August 22, 2023 at 2:26 PM I may re post it again Lin, but then again I may save it for a poop poetry book lol - I write a lot of crap poems, oops I mean poems about crap, or maybe I was right first time lol lol:-) hugs jan xx

Jan Allison August 22, 2023 at 2:18 PM The poem has another 3 verses but i couldnt post them due to the 20 line max rule in the contest. John Lawless August 23, 2023 at 5:39 AM OH, PLEASE DO A REPOST AFTER THE CONTEST.....