Holiday Parody Poems

'Twas the twilight of the year, a twinkling tiara,
December 31st, digits dancing dunes in the Sahara.
One, two, three, one, two, three, it's a prance,
A numerical...

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Shiny the Sunbeam
Was a Summer sunshine rose
With a visor hat and a ruddy glow
And sunglasses on his nose

Shiny the Sunbeam
Is radiation they say
He was made...

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A Parody for Soupers based on the song, 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town.'

You better not shout
You better not sigh
You better not pout
I'm telling you...

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The feast was all done,
For Grinch and the Who’s,
 And after the meal,
Came terrible news.

For Max and the Grinch,
And Who’s gathered round,
No one spoke a...

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One More

Ingredients are a funny thing. 
Timing is probably more important. 
But it is hard to say really. 

I cooked all day, but…
I wanted it...

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Yucatan, etc.

Cortez, DeMille are gone.
It's now the locus
of postgraduate honeymoons,
urban fugues, a minor literary genre.

Knowledge and ejection predispose us
to technological parody--
antique busses, burros, plumbing, pyramids--
as...

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Light da Roman candles
for da coming Chariots of Pharaoh holiday
Dem New Publicans
be back in pyramid power
Give a Caesar Palace casino hip, hip-hooray

Happy daze are here...

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Acapulco

I’d love to go down to the sea again,
The sea and the Holiday Inn,
Where some of the guests are awfully fat,
And others are awfully thin,
Where...

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Abominable holiday season greeting to the have-nots me and you
Bombshell tabloid sleigh bells got those ear holes ringing
Cut the tax gift wrap ribbon, only good...

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Two four-letter words,
I truly despise
Got nothing but hate for them,
I’m not gon lie ... 
but I got my reasons why
Jobs!
Politicians always seem to forget
to put...

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We wish you would bury christmas
We wish you would bury christmas 
We wish you would bury christmas
Then go have a beer.

Go choke on your figgy...

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It was the night before Christmas
And on this very calm night
Almost fell asleep in my squad car
When the radar unit did light

The speed was over...

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I got the arrow pointing at you
Yeah, you stupid
So everyone around will know
about the next dumb thing you do
You don't go sit on a mall...

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The blind, jaundiced eagle falls from the sky.
Falling free, it's the death of liberty.
No need for autopsy to figure why.
Is it freedom we want, or...

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Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Thatcher’s dead.

Trade unionists bounce along...

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