Pain In The Neck Poems | Examples

In Ones Comfort Zone

the only place one size fits all ~ is the main aisle of the shopping mall 

well proportioned heavy or small ~ no pain in the neck if nine feet tall

Not Necessarily Green

Sausage and custard and ice cream with mustard
Chocolate coated Kentucky Fried Bustard
Whipped cream with mushrooms or frogspawn on toast
These are the foods that an ogre likes most

Volcanic craters and baths full of gators
A pantry thats choc full of gagged and bound waiters
sleeping on bones in a pterosaurs nest
These are the places an ogre likes best

Eyeballs and elbows, the odd severed nose
Ankles and legs and a number of toes
Earlobes and kidneys and hearts to dissect
Things that an ogre just loves to collect

Teeth that are bleeding and eyes that are red
Skin like the skin of somebody that’s dead
One missing ear and a hole in the throat
And chomping raw meat from the leg of a goat

So now that you have him laid clear in your head
The image you see is of someone to dread
For sometimes the truth is a pain in the neck
And ogres in real life are nothing like Shrek

New Life Curriculum

Dreams continue as he pursues and fits into those new life shoes/
Steams of old morose songs singing sad blues in dark venues/
Has his hold paddling multiple life canoes/
His eyes mold maddening views of how not to use or misuse /
Less issues to load tissues and blow revenues /
He construes the con’s cruise how he’d abuse and throw a fuze /
Irrelevant spoofs but now he refuels and will refuse /
To lose how he broke a fuzed fool loose into bomb grooves /
Explodent raising the roof with booms and more proofs /
Next go sent is praising a nerd goof’s blurred sluice see through / 
An Oxymoron to use without suboxone, oxycontin or any proxy plottin /
That’s rotten like heroin in pill form not an option /
From hereon in I’m building and recovering /
I’ve beaten my cranial region and more covering/
It’s a pain in the neck and the back sore hovering /
Pain multiplied by the passion is what caused action /
The symptom is contamination leaving one ultimatum /
Create a new life curriculum to cure ick-n-glum

It's Curtains For Me

Six months from now and it's curtains for me
I'll crash through the barrier of 88
I'll officially be old and crotchety and senile
Pablum after my morning pee

Oh for the days had no trouble getting dressed
Now I forget my darn Jockeys
Don't wanna share this bod with anyone else
Everything's become kinda floppy

Once had tight abs... now who am I kidding
The tightest my abs get now
Is when I try bending down to tie up my laces
At times feel like a pregnant cow

I grunt and strain and been known to curse
Saying bad things like, “holy heck"
Can remember those real naughty old phrases
Like “go to blazes” or “pain in the neck”

Guess six months won't make a hugh difference
I'm pretty well ready for the pasture
One thing I've noticed since reaching “maturity”
Time seems to be going a lot faster

So here's some advice for all you young'uns
Enjoy life while you still can
Before you know it, the darn jig will be up
And you'll just be an also ran

Life

The bell rings, the computer freezes
The chronic sneezes
The bounced check
Pain in the neck

The oven doesn't work
The guy at the store is a jerk
The line too long
This is all so wrong

Can't earn a dime
Frustrated all the time
These annoying devices
Such high prices!

Love Is a Pain In the Neck

Love is a pain in the neck

It was an odd week of lovelornness
he kept singing, “born to lose, and now I´m losing you.”
Perhaps it was an Elvis Priestly song.
He sighed a lot, but otherwise slept well.
He had been a victim of his ego.
The song in his head finally disappeared,
there were
So, many beautiful girls around that summer.
He sometimes sang the song “blanket on the ground.”
Willy Nelson´s?
Does a sweet song beget love or is it love that begets?
a sweet song?

She Did Not Even Appreciate Her Pie

I got bucked off a mule, a horse, an antelope and a kangaroo.
I was so irritated I called my friends and gave them heck.
I am sure some of them said to themselves “she’s a pain in the neck”.
I did not care, for frankly, I did not know what else to do.

My stepmother yelled for me to hang up and get a life.
She never did like me as much as she likes my sister Sue.
I did not care; even she no longer makes me blue.
I still wonder why Daddy married her; was there no other wife?

I baked her a pie with nails, wallpaper paste and Elmer’s glue.,
But did she appreciate it? No, she did not even taste it!
I did what any thirteen-year-old girl would do; I had a fit!
And my Daddy ate it all up. He asked for seconds too!

She Did Not Appreciate Her Pie

I got bucked off a mule, a horse, an antelope and a kangaroo.
I was so irritated I called my friends and gave them heck.
I am sure some of them said to themselves “she’s a pain in the neck”.
I did not care, for frankly, I did not know what else to do.

My stepmother yelled for me to hang up and get a life.
She never did like me as much as she likes my sister Sue.
I did not care; even she no longer makes me blue.
I still wonder why Daddy married her; was there no other wife?

I baked her a pie with nails, wallpaper paste and Elmer’s glue.,
But did she appreciate it? No, she did not even taste it!
I did what any thirteen-year-old girl would do; I had a fit!
And my Daddy ate it all up. He asked for seconds too!

Arty Stuff No 1

Arty stuff No 1

An artist called 'Toulose' L'Autrec,
Thought landscapes a pain in the neck,
So he painted in bars,
Drank Absinthe from jars,
Which left him an absolute wreck!!

Imperfections

I told you I was neither a bee's knees,
  Nor cat's whiskers
  But you thought I was  sex on the stick
  And you yessed to death
   Falling for me was dancing with death
  So, why remorse now? 

  You had to make head or tail of me
   You're now picking holes
   You now get chagrin on the sight of me
  You think am so dreary
  You think am too serious in everything

I was a happy flea in a doghouse
I wasn't born to the purple as you
I was common as an old shoe
But you buttered me up
You compelled me to be in character
I forgot I was a man on the streets

Yet you still put my name in mud
You now think am no use to man or beast
I gave it my all I could
But I had not a cat in hell's chance
The relationship became your pain in the neck
You started playing away from home
But still, you remorse over me??

Gold-Digger Sonnet

Shall I compare a summer’s day to thee
in an effort to make lust seem profound,
you’re hot, wanted, and can make men sweaty,
but is it worth it when the sun goes down?

Paying so much to go out on the town,
at the nicest restaurants you have to eat,
vacation at the ritziest sports around,
reveling in being looked at as meat.

Knowing what you command with your beauty,
hoping to bring the high-bidders in close,
living the high life until you’ve drained me,
then to the next man you so swiftly go.

You’re hot, but you are a pain-in-the-neck,
is it really all worth it just to get sex?

Computers and Binary Codes

COMPUTERS AND BINARY CODES

Computers, computer science, and binary codes
Are a pain in the neck and other parts of the anatomy
They cause confusion and misery by the truckloads
In order to cope, one almost has to attend an academy

Computers have become a necessary evil today
They seem like a demon of sorts has been turned loose
 I know less about a binary code than I do about ballet
And for the science part of it, I simply have no use

The only reason I tolerate computers is Poetry Soup
Without it my poems could never be read
And that would make my spirits droop 
And my ego would never get fed

So I'll just sit in front of this one eyed monster
And keep writing poems that people hopefully enjoy
While at the same time I will ponder
Another method the world could employ

To simplify life, yet inform the world
Of the beauty that poetry can give
And computers, as well as smart phones be hurled
Into space to simplify the life we must live

5 October 2018 
For the contest sponsored by Brahn Bailey

Waiting For Baby

Waiting for baby.        16/07/2018.
 The hospital bag is ready in the hall. Oh the excitement and the stress of it all. Will we need an ambulance ? or will we get to the hospital in time after the waters have broke?

Midwives, checking weight, blood pressure, pee samples. It is like a science lesson. Going to ante-natal classes together, bonding, breathing, panting, when to push ? T o take pain relief, gas and air, something stronger, mines a gin and tonic !

About the contractions, count down, bear down, to baby's arrival, Baby kicking inside like a giant frog, punching my insides at night. Feeling like a watched pot ready to pop. 

Its a worry too how will we feel, to be parents, will we cope, have a scan see the little person on the t .v  screen, we don't want to know the sex, keep it a big secret. 

The family's becoming a pain in the neck asking questions, dates, names, what schools its going to? The nursery stands ready painted yellow, cot in place,  waiting for its bundle of love to arrive.

first child born 12/06/1987.

Woe Is Me

Painful shoulder,
A pain in the neck,
Sore arms,
What the heck?
Chesty cough,
Swollen knee,
Aching joints,
Woe is me.
Runny nose,
It hurts to sneeze,
Enough is enough,
I'm begging, please.
Feeling nauseous,
Pounding head,
Lack of sleep,
I'm going back to bed.

Vampire Halloween Party

Wecome to the Vampire Halloween party
Count Draculas and you'll see quite a few
"You are my sunshine", plays in the background
They all hate it, but that's nothing new

A waiter made the mistake of asking
Wouldn't steak be what you might desire
Two vampires fainted and two flew away
One ran and tripped and fell into the fire

A cop got one passed out on the lawn
Of drunk vampires he was the worst
The cop said, "I need to take some blood"
The vampire said, "Ok but I go first!"

When she bats her eyes at a bat-chelor
Obviously it was love at first bite
For both it was a pain in the neck
On a blood vessel they left in the night!

• Short Pain In The Neck Poems
• Famous Pain In The Neck Poems
• Best Pain In The Neck Poems
• Read Pain In The Neck Poems
• Long Pain In The Neck Poems
• Pain In The Neck Quotes