You see them stretching
bending each leg back so far
boundaries tested
overextending limits
~ Then they run a marathon
Call me shorty,
I have to look up
because everyone is taller
except for children who are smaller.
Call me shorty,
I might not be a giraffe,
being petite means not bending,
walking straight and not overextending.
apologies first
For feeling, for thinking, for
overspending my overextending
"hospitality"
which probably
is an apology
for you *having to be here
*In my kitchen in my bed
your choice feels like Im
forcing you to sit close
to look at me
blankly.
But it's in that mode
When I try I guess any
type of stress, any
missed feeling I
find my self kneeling at
your whim (that I imagine for you).
But
it's a blank stare because
you can tell the moment that
I'm not there.
I look for your potential
dissatisfaction
so that I can be perfectly adaptable
Easy to be with
Etc.
I don't want to
tell you how I really feel.
If something bothers me
I let it sink in
Rather than float to the top
For you to
See
addendum:
constantly enraged against the machine that I believe tells me to be
agreeable, careful, prim, pragmatic, wary,
I do most of the work.
While I lay here
Staring my fate
Square into obscurity
Left with nothing but promises
Of forgotten grandeur
Leaving behind epic depths
Of visions
Illusions
Confusions, beyond credibility
A string of events one could not forsee
Refusal to uphold unrealistic
And idealistic states of abstraction
Thus bringing us lucid and coherent
Understandings of the truth
Perhaps revealing consummate contentment
No more resentments
Of past discontentment
These vast extents of torments
Preventing one from ascending
Into unending bliss
Where the unmerciful bind you
Overextending
Subdued