He's eighty years old
An octogenarian
A very full life
Must be doing something right
to last that long on this earth
Octogenarian
I would love to be an Octogenarian,
Now that I'm seventy-nine.
What joy to be an Octogenarian,
An Octogenarian will suit me just fine.
( Hum to the tune of "Get me to the Church on time!"
The old guy's getting married to a fat virgin,
Ding dong, the wedding hearse does shine!
That's what he gets for perving!
Get him to the morgue on time!
The old man's getting married to a fat virgin,
Ding dong, the wedding hearse does shine,
Both the coffins are ready,
The undertakers are steady,
Extra large for the fat groom and bride.
The old man's getting married to a fat virgin,
Ding dong, the wedding hearse does shine,
The bride is wearing her thongy,
His sons are bringing their bongies,
Get him to the morgue on time.
The old man's getting married to a fat virgin,
Ding dong, wedding hearse does shine,
The mob are bringing marijuana pesto,
The transvestites are saying hello,
They can be mothers of the bride.
The old man's marrying a fat virgin,
Yes, that's what you get for a'pervin,
The morticians are all ready,
The coffins are standing steady,
Get him to the morgue on time!
MIRROR IMAGE – Octogenarian plus
Now
Here he comes
Master of the mansion –
complete with wrinkles, gas, cataracts, arthritis –
His mental package stuck in 30s fashion
The first chore was getting out of bed
Getting straight
Then into his head
That dreams have been scorched by light of day
Talking to himself –
this type insanity impending –
With quiet, projective things to say -
like
about normal toiletry and medication
all protectively arranged –
Done!
Then what?
What indeed when highlight of the day is
Going to market
Slowly driving his car
Remembering where in hell he parked it
Cats, birds, squirrels his friends -
uncomplicated you see –
have become so dear, like family
During his daily nap
Whiskers snuggles under his arm
With Tabby and Sweet Puss on his lap
Ummmmmmmm?
Well?
There’s lots more to tell about his day
But
Oh, hell!
Forgot what I was going to tell!
By the way
What IS today?
An octogenarian visited his doctor
'I think I'm getting senile” he said
The doctor replied “I don’t think you are senile
Let’s look for a different diagnosis instead”
“But I keep forgetting to do up my fly”
The old man said “After I’ve been for a pee”
The doctor smiled and then replied
“Not opening your fly before you start, that’s senility”