Funny Mum Poems

I’m the lady with a big bum
A man offered quite a sum
Of money to play 
With my bum he’d pay
Until I reached out to his...

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A maniac laughs
a maniac screams
and screams

feed me
feed me
mummy feed me
feed me
let me suckle upon
your shapely breast
even though I'm 53
and your dead

feed me
feed me
feed me

sweet breast...

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We all went down to the beach today; it was hot as hot can be.  
The carpark was full, Dad got cross and my...

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What would you do if the part of you that you gave life to is a constant reminder of failure and disappointment? What would you...

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Somewhere in the air 
Came a physical challenge for a wedded pair 
“You on the ground 
Commuting into town 
Pick up the pace 
Soon you...

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Ladies. Are you tired of having the family underfoot?
Are you fed up with their boorish behavior?

Great News. For a limited time only...
We present the must...

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Mum has been in a care home since dad died . I try to see her every day except when I’m unwell or on holiday....

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A pot of stew. 
Made with meat. 
Meat and more meat.
I am hungry. 

What is for dinner, mother?...

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You’re only a mum,
But that’s all it takes.
To be super human,
You don’t even get breaks.

You’re a cook, A dish washer,
A cleaner, a nurse.
A teacher, a...

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Reindeer wait
   by the pane
I see shapes


A present!
   Santa thinks
I’m asleep 



Smells like mum 
   lent Santa 
her perfume......

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Today we say goodbye to jill
This surely is a bitter pill
A lively lady full of the beans
A cruel world so it seems

A kind hearted lady...

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They used to come only at night,
And hide way up under the bed,
Tucking their feet clear out of sight,
Ready to angrily pinch my pinky toes...

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Hurry, hurry, hurry
Funny bunny plays
Windy sunny field

Muddy small silly
Feels guilt
Feels sorry

Mummy still loves 
Muddy funny bunny


18th December 2017

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A mothers work is never done, it comes with heartache, joy and fun. 

But if your mum is much like mine, she'll keep loving, till...

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My boy and me.

On the bed my pal sat drawing,
My boy,one gem,"it's me time"
I hug him,"why not art making",
Duo get a key job to...

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