(“Corpus Callosum”, 2017, original encaustic)
Reverse Osmosis of Life
It’s a two way street
The way reality exists
Divided into truth on one side
And illusion’s delusions the other,
And yet the most fascinating aspect
Is the membrane that exists between the two
A membrane of I don’t know what,
But which I’m sure the ancients had a name for,
Which divides, insulates and yet connects
And filters through cosmic osmosis
The personal and transpersonal,
Or you could say the mortal and immortal.
Sometimes I can feel the membrane at work
Seeing it even just beyond the limits of my mind’s eye
Knowing what it’s doing
As it transpires
Because I am in fact on both sides simultaneously
At least to some degree.
Everything after all is an extension
And expression of Life,
You, me, us,
In whatever forms it finds us
From refined and subtle to coarse and gross.
The other night I dreamt of being a bridge
Not a figurative one, but literally
An object with girders and cross members
Able to span a stream or gully.
It didn’t surprise me, just intrigue me
That the creative nature of the Mind
Is what it is
And in fact, is all there is.
(8/18/25)
My room is warm and comforting and light
This feels like kindness , brings my skin delight
I remember being held in loving arms
And soothed by songs as sweet as any balms
Let the lamplight run across the eyes
Let them soften to a wider gaze
Let the hair be free from sprays too strong
Let the skin enclose us softly, strong
We can’t deny the skin is often pricked
Or beaten by a parent who’s too strict
More fragile than a leaf from any tree
This frail membrane is our boundary
Floating into sleep in reverie
I lose myself while God imagines me
What’s a cell without its membrane?
A bulbous mass of uhck?
A strung-out sea that’s ever-expanding?
An ugly pile of gook?
Does it know where proteins go?
Are signals always mistook?
Do organelles discombobulate
And invaders overlook?
Can it feel? Can it fathom?
Does it know which way is up?
Is a formless blob of matter
Anything but gobbledygook?
The pain I feel inside
Can be derived from my dad pride
I sit alone at night
There is this emptiness that is
The squandering of time
pondering what life will be like
Who knew that twenty-one
Would be More bumps and lumps than fun
I want to dump this chump
Standing in front of the mirror
Waiting till its clearer
This Brings a sobering effect
Over thinking each step
It is like I'm playing freeze tag
With these mundane demons
And They always keep me in check
Because I cant see them
I have been contained and constrained
I complain of chest pains
Till my veins pop off like champagne
Bruce Banner's a freight train
Going insane in the membrane
So should I smoke weed then
To cope with this moping season
Cause my yoke is heavy
and dope seems dope for lots of reasons
Even though I do know
What the verse says in Ephesians
"Do not get drunk on wine...
Instead be filled with the spirit"
This is my one beacon
That's give me hope when I hear it
Its a choice for heathens
Like me, to write our own lyrics
Since death has been beaten
And no longer need to fear it
His love is infinite
Here my guttural wombat cry
I'm envisioning a life without you...
This ridiculous school bus pandering-
Let the mafia emerge from underground
Shell the streets down
To choke this gasoline vibe
What were you hoping this time around?
Let the karma ferris wheel fly off the boardwalk
And skittles pepsi cola families
Hit the rebound
Your sucking the atmosphere dry
I'd rather dig a grave than participate
I'll be a carpenter bee
To your massive unparalleled stupidity
Man is God in seed
God is Love and peace
Definitions are shallow in deed
Pure essence silloutes the body of belief
Dancing endless in Cosmic relief
Mind strangles and boasts
the Ego wrapped tights like Christmas buzzards
Why pose a Muslim to a Jew to an independent version
All language is a game
Stockings, and stuffers, and thin whispy smoke
The brain archaically layered
Spinning neurons to bodies in motion
The whole earth churning discrete destiny
I sit here late at night
Wondering what is wrong
and what is right
Spreading all this slam
as if I where damned
My head is jumbled with
the things that people have mumbled
Explosions going off in my mind
some of them aren’t very kind
I need to find a way
to relieve my mind
So I alleviate the jumble
by writing the words I mumble
Insane with pain
from fellow soldiers that
have been slain
I lay here late at night
my eyes falling from the lack of light
my body half in flight
I feel the might of the night
relieving my sight
Relieving my sight from the fight
I sleep now late at night
Dreaming of what is wrong
wishing it was right
My body in full flight
No fight left,
at least thru the night
My body in full flight
bY rudY
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