My heart's at half-mast for dear Molly McGee
Who was drawn and quartered and buried at sea
They thought her a temptress, known only to me
Convicted of mischief and skulduggery
So, I dropped to my knees and prayed to the Lord
Tho, devout as I was, my prayers were ignored
I bowed to the Captain, I begged and implored
But watched my dear Molly, get dumped overboard
Then I shouted her name and jumped in the sea
And followed the body of Molly McGee
Two lovers united, where hearts can be free
Our souls are now mingled, my Molly and me
Old smiling Mickey McGee
Cheated everyone he knew
As selfish as he could be
And of morals, he had few
He cheated playing poker
And he cheated on his wife
Just a real local joker
And a scoundrel all his life
One night while with a lady
Her husband caught them both in bed
His name was Sean O'Grady
Who shot Mickey in the head
Now on his wife you're gonna see
A wide and satisfied grin
Old smiling Mickey McGee
You know he'll never smile again
Social Misfit Mr. Mollander McGumphry McGee
Took his hen for a walk down street seventy-three
Dancing beside him was a weird lunatic-like chickadee
I am glad we do not look that ridiculous said MM McGee
The hen kept her mouth shut, for she was brighter than he
Ridiculous is not the half of it she later told her sister Bree
No one else rides a hen down street seventy-three
We looked like two complete idiots, McGee and me.
It was late one night when Finn walked in
And sat next to McGee at the bar
McGee, looking down was wearing a frown
While Finn lit up a cigar
Finn saw McGee was in mourning
By the black band he wore on his arm
And approached his friend so slowly
With tactfulness, Grace, mixed with charm
"McGee Who died ?, and were you two close ?"
Where the words that sprang from Finns lips
"It was me cousin Tim that passed"
Then, McGee raised a glass for a sip
"How old of a man was your cousin?"
McGee answered, "Still in his prime"
"Had he been sick and dying,
Or victim of some kind crime?"
"No, It happened while he was asleep" sighed McGee
"Well It good that he didn't suffer"
"True, But the folks on the bus he was driving,
I'm thinking it was a wee rougher"
A young lady named Laurie McGee
She had an incredible crush on me
So long since besotten,
My name soon forgotten
She met up with Timothy McFee.
written weeks ago, June 21, 2021
McGee walked to the pub one night
And right inside the door
He saw a ten pound note
Just lying on the floor
The next day while at church
He told his Priest of the task
The Priest knew him well
And so he had to ask
"And I'm sure you did what Jesus would,
After finding such a find"
"Of course I did Dear Father Tim
I turned it into wine."
new work
I write to you
my old friend
About the poems that you'll send
Not thinking it would ever end
And that it meant so much to me
Now I see
that you're not there
Makes this loneliness I bare
Something from my heart to share
With hope that one day sets me free
You should know
I never will forget you
And will alway
Down in the grassy meadow
in the stump of an ancient, dead tree,
surrounded by clandestine hedgerows,
lived the indolent Mrs. Molly McGee.
A prickly sort of gal, she was,
with a long, cold, pointy snout.
She rocked all day in her rocker,
and sniffed everyone out.
So beady, small, and blackened
her wily eyes fool most anyone,
but only she knew her secret news:
Her eyesight was all done!
Covered in sharp quills from her head to her rump,
she displayed such a thorny demeanor
Under the solitary crescent moon, she sighed,
"I guess I could always be meaner."
He owned a pet chipmunk named Georgie McGee
who loved to eat almonds while counting to three
little by little he inched his way in
nuzzling sweetly right up to Quinn
who never thought squirrels could live duty free
He ravaged tomatoes and ate little leaves
while Quinnie reviewed every pet peeve
he dug up the flowers
and never did shower
as he squabbled and quabbled without a reprieve
He never did shoe him nor send him away
for happy go lucky would eat then make way
he ate from his finger
but never did linger
how old he was? well, he never did say !
McGee was needin' a drop you see
So he headed on down to the pub
But as he arrived, he heard a small voice
Say " Don't go into that club"
Turning around there he had found
A Nun with her fist in the air
Saying "Don't you know that drinkin' a sin,
A sin your soul can not bare,
And besides that too, it'll rot you guts
Your liver, your teeth and you brain
And if you were smart, if you'd walk away
And never touch it again".
So, McGee then asked the little bold Nun
" Have you ever had even a taste?"
The Nun replied "Of course I've not!"
" Then Sister you haven't a case,
How can you judge, if you're not tried,
You're unqualified, That's what I think"
"Ok "said the Nun "I guess I try one,
But, as long as you go get the drink"
Ok said McGee," What shall it be"
The Nun said "I only know Gin"
McGee said fine, I'll be back in no time.
Wait here, and I'll just pop in"
McGee walked briskly up to the bar
Where he order a pint for himself
The asked for a cup of Gin to go
And make it the best on the shelf
The barman pulled the pint for McGee
Then gave his chin a rub
Said, "Now, don't tell me that drunken Nun
Is still out in front of me pub!
McGee sat in the corner of the local pub
With a puzzle laid out on a table
He had worked on it, fitting the pieces
When he had time and was able
Tonight was the night and it happened like this
That McGee was to realize his goal
He stood up and cheered so all there could hear
As he pushed the last piece in the hole
"I've done it" He said, and lifted his glass
To guzzled the rest of his beer
And paused for a sec, to challenge the mob
To attempt what he had accomplished right there!
Silents ensued for a moment or two
'Till an Englishman said in a heat
"It looks Like a hundred pieces or so,
How long did it take to complete"
"Two month ten days" McGee proudly boasted
The man spied the puzzle and said
"It should have only taken a week"
Then sat down shaking his head
"Two months ten days" Repeated McGee
As if he had won the World Cup
Then held up the box read what it said
"Right here it says 2yrs and up"!
The Samaritan,
A maniac to the blind;
A saint in God’s eye
Maniac McGee,
A fool to peers and others;
God’s Samaritan
Born to be crazy…
Love’s allegorical boy:
Maniac Mcgee…
McGee and McJock had been friends
Through thick and thin over the years
In times of uncontrolled laughter
With others of unrestrained tears
Closer than brothers were these two
But, disagreed on only one thought
As McGee claim Jesus was Irish
McJock swore that Christ was a Scot
Well, the day came, McGee passed away
Like best friends, McJock didn't wait
He passed on the very same day
And both stood before Saint Peters Gate
Saint Pete said "Boys you both made it,
You have certainly proven your mettle"
When McGee blurted "Pete no so fast now,
Me friend and I, 'ave something to settle"
McGee was about to explain further
When Jesus appeared through the gates
And looked at the pair now in shock
Then greeted them both "G' day Mates"
McGee sat deep in his overstuffed chair
As his son came home from school
McGee called out as Shawn rushed by
“I need to 'ave a word with you”
So Shawn scuffled over and flopped in a chair
His eyes looking down at the floor
McGee puffed his pipe and gave it a light
Said “Let me get right to the core”
“I really don’t know the best way to say
But this is the way that I’ve opted
I’ll just tell you straight, no reason to wait
The truth is, Son, you’re adopted “
“I knew it" said Shawn, "I knew all along
It couldn’t have been more apparent,
Now that I’m free, I demand it you see !
I want to meet both my birth parents”
“We’re your birth parents” declared McGee
“And don’t worry everything’s fine
But you had better get ready it’s almost three
And your new Parents should be here on time”
Officer Murphy was driving along
When the traffic started to slow
So he drove up the side of the road, to the front
To see what impeded the flow
He saw a car just crawling along
And he waved it off the road
Then McGee rolled down his window
While Murphy was sighting a code
McGee said "Wait one minute,
I saw what it said on the sign
It showed 35 was the limit
And obeyed it to avoid any fine"
Murphy started shaking his head
"McGee you're really a clout
That's not the sign with the limit
35 is the name of the route
Then Murphy look all at the others
Who were in the car with McGee
Finn and Shawn looked quite frighten
So Murphy asked poor old McGee
"Why do your friends look so shaken
They both look afraid for their lives"
"I'm not really sure "He told Murphy'
But, we just got route 95
Mick, Mike and McGee
Were at the pub together
Just sitting at the bar
Talking about work, and the weather
When Mick looks down and sees a fly,
floating on the froth of his beer
Motions for The Bartender, saying
"What in the hell we have here"
The Bartender sees the fly
Then looked Mick straight in the face
I'll pour a fresh one my good friend
And he did so, employing great hast
It wasn't a moment till Mike, found the same
Floating around in his brew
He pulled out the fly, pressed the glass to his lips
And drank it until it was through
McGee saw the same when he gazes in his pint
And quick, pulled the fly from his stout
And shaking him by his wee little wings
Demanding that he spit it out !
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