I can't accept that we are not together
My chest just feels heavy and ready to explode
Everyone teaches you the concept of love
but none teaches how to live in their absence
I can't see happiness anywhere
Nothing excites me anymore
I don't find anything that makes me loved
It was you and only your love I ever wanted
Initially I was acting brave but I am not now
I can't see myself happy in your absence
Your upset face shatters my hearts into millions of pieces
who should I complain and express?
I got no one to express the pain .
My heart now just wants to explode due to agony
I want to hug you tight ,to express my love
I want to write my name on rock ,aim it to your face
then you would understand how much it hurts to be away from you.
I made you hate love
Were the last words you spoke
But your actions caused
Me to hate more than a burning feeling
We so easily define as love
I hated my body
For the marks you left there
Still feel permanent
Like a tattoo pen on my tainted skin
You thought of me just as a canvas
To paint your feelings, red, bleeding
Passionate
My body still feels unease
The scars
As deep as when you cut them
I bleed on others now only
The blood pours on their skin
But they can't see it
As I can
You made me hate everything
Your heart bleeds as my skin does
Unshallow wounds
Autumn colored shackles
palpitations make the metal growl
Xanthic forewings and discal cells
grace my mucosa, the ripples feel foul
Eternal suffering in a blissful steel
I like to spend my days believing my delusions are real
Love is just chemicals
that we tend to confuse
But good lord, honey, these confusing chemicals have me addicted to you
May these Lepidopteras lay me down to sleep
and wake me with their shattering roar
Let me taste your vanilla lips
Grip you close with an internal war
plaster and staple my clipped feathers
and let my heart soar
Im wittling away in a bird cage, and begging for your touch
I spend my free time knowing I’m too much
so listen to my last exasperated “I love you”
And i’ll rattle these chains
dream of my terminal phalanx touching the sky
and gracing your face
I’ll slam into the metal walls
recoil in ecstasy
grip my stomach until hemoglobin lines the ridges in my flesh
try to rip the monarch lovers out
in hopes they let me rest
Im wittling away in a bird cage
with a dying wish for your head on my chest
i remember your bedroom at your moms house,
Thin walls and black blankets.
A energy drink and my perfume resting on your side desk,
The journal you’d draw in,
And you’d draw me.
Your guitar sitting in the corner,
Red and glossy but always growing dust,
You played music on it and I was surprised at your talent.
A hot summer and fireworks at night,
We’d stay up late, till 5am laughing our lungs breathless.
The moments I swore I’d feel forever never lasted long,
But the sun only reminds me of the moon’s we shared.
Things went south like where you are,
And my mind spiraled into your lies.
Your smile I stared into for hours,
So pure and sweet,
Became a smile that was only fake.
These nights I spend alone now,
I cherish.
Without you I am free.
She experienced life
in her own way
The way a woman will.
At times she loved a man.
At times she was alone.
Collecting Memories,
Like shells on a beach
Or stored in jars,
Beside the mirror
In her bathroom.
Water, always the way,
In which her life flowed.
And now, she returned
To the memory of a well,
Into which she once
Cast her wishes.
Like the one about that boy.
The one..
That never came true.
The agon of a love thrown out, debased,
Doth wound as deep as deeply ever could
It cuts across the veins in my pump based
And turns my heartfelt words to dull, dry wood.
It is a blinding shadow hid in wit
That thinks, by wit that it cannot be seen,
A diamond rose, and silver leaf – on it,
A gold acorn; these three are yet too mean
To offer to the lady of my heart,
Or yet, to win her favor for my helm,
Or yet, to seal my hope against her dart,
Enough! For her, the finest in the realm!
Doth not suffice, nor will, my noble friend.
But you shall love her to the bitter end.
Global warming
Jealousies
Me: cool :)
25/5/2022
Naked pain – abandoned hope
Treasure chest of dreams
Put to rest
Visions across the forest floor
With leaves in hues of amber
Scarlet and gold
Crunching against
Deep, black earth
Decomposing
Fading into
Death
Bare, aching sorrow
Breathing through my soul
In waves of agony
Piercing my heart
With grief
From the
Loss
Of
Peace
Rich, brilliant promises
Of flowing lights
Beaming across
The darkness of night
In whispers of
Intimacy
Encouraging
A victory
For hope
Faith
Limitless, lasting love
Dancing through the
Spirit of one who
Listens faithfully
To the sounds
That come from
A heart who hears
God’s breath
In each noun
Each verb
Every idea
The thought
That breaks through
Fear, doubt, angst
To sooth and sweeten
The music that plays
A melody of faith
Sighing gently
In soft rhythms
Of the heart beating
Sensing the longing
That caresses
With a flow
Of love
I could write this silly poem
Play a million songs
Lay awake not sleeping
Raging all night long
Spend my days and hours
Plagued by thoughts of you
But it won't change a single thing
There's nothing I can do
I can't control your feelings
Or fix reality
This exercise in torment
Is just futility
The truth is I'm exhausted
It's such a waste of time
Languishing in passion
As desire taunts my mind
I'm totally depleted
So tired, all in vain
Wanting you, your skin, your touch
You're my carnal bane
I wish I could forget you
Erase my memory
Purge you from my being
It's such futility.
Coming out of
distant dreams
of splendid things
lovely impressions
healing schemes
where
discerning deceptions
profound perceptions
within without were
strewn.
My consciousness
roused
from myriad worlds
of angels and demons
realms and reasons
from
castles and kings
subtle things
psyche’s pleasings.
This awakening
from primeval sleep
vast kingdoms
from fantasies
stories
allegories
from dark the deep
my ethereal dawn
rose moonless
from its keep.
Three words
appeared
without a sound
for which I prayed
for which I knelt
bound and chained
in despair found
begging blind sages
indifferent Gods
cursing the fates
no solace for ages.
Three words
staring back at me
in silent repose
such ecstasy
their remedy
so that
dreams dreamt
dreams meant
to create rhapsody
could not imagine
their salvation.
(Click on the pic to purchase my poetry book!)
Deny it all you want to
Pretend you're happy being free
But when your mind begins to wander
You're gonna think of me
Oh you may find another
Thinner, pretty face
But she'll never measure up to me
I could never be replaced
I'll consume your every thought
I'll run within your veins
Your heart will stop
Be short of breath
When you hear my name
Your mouth and skin will ache for me
In the darkness there alone
You'll think of how I teased your lips
Let my fingers roam
You'll miss the way I smiled at you
Pushed the tendrils from your face
My eyes lit up when I looked at you
Those things you can't erase
But I wont beg to hold you here
Your decision is your own
Explore some other options
Need some time alone
So go then I release you
Unchained you, set you free
But when you miss what you once had
You're gonna think of me.
With HER on his mind,
He runs out the not...
He runs out the not knowing...
He runs out the not knowing whether
He loves her...
And the good sweat
Is like
Blood in his veins
Is like
Turning the stars inside out,
Making their cool heat
Shine down, and through, and out of
Him...
As though he were transparent,
And,
Lungs stoking,
Breath smoking,
His eight counts in
And
His eight counts out,
Making the whole night half of the world
Breathe to his pulse...
He squeezes the stars in his
Pumping fists,
The prints of his feet leave
Shining marks,
He fades around a corner,
Turns into the Darkness,
And is seen...
No more...
1987