Long Yokel Poems

Doggerel I or Nonsense Verse

A$$tronomical
by Michael R. Burch

Einstein, the frizzy-haired,
proved E equals MC squared.
Thus, all mass decreases
as activity ceases?
Not my mass, my a$$ declared!



Bible Libel
by Michael R. Burch

If God
is good,
half the Bible
is libel.

I came up...

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Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Enjoy, Florence, because you so great are
That on seas and ground your wings you flutter,
And down in hell your name around spreads far!

I found five, among the stealers’ clutter,
Your citizens which then made me ashamed...

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Limericks V - Politics

Baked Alaskan
by Michael R. Burch

There is a strange yokel so flirty
she makes whores seem icons of purity.
With all her winkin’ and blinkin’
Palin seems to be thinkin’—
"Ah culd save th’ free world ’cause...

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A French Narrative Poem: A wren comes to rest on a reed after the storm – Dialogue between the bird and the shrub. Translation of Rene Etiemble’s poem: Narration Française

(The very first poem composed by...

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Voluntary unconditional surrender woke...,

Viz hitting yours truly,
when yokel egghead doth jinx
whereby ye cannot comprehend figurative
wimpy vainglory, unequivocally, tectonically,
smoldering resentments I stoke,

he doth bare his soul no joke,
no matter insight doth severely challenge
cyber surfing passersby, who...

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Where once verdant rolling highlands...

Spanned into infinite vista
far as these myopic eyes can see
now yellowing Whitmanesque
leaves of grass encompass field of vision.

Nary a dark dreadnaught cloud in sight,
nor unbeknownst if/when threatening storm
looms on horizon slaking...

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A rhetorical question finds me asking 
(to no one in particular) why I recall 
the names of grade school teachers 
approximately fifty years ago (whose 
names listed below), when the need

to retrieve necessary information due
ring...

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when into scaly claws, sans first
to sixth grade Precambrian relic
(Missus Batson, Missus Rittenhouse,
Missus Wells, Mister Stout, Missus Shaner,
or Miss Rinderle).

Invariably the majority
     of elementary grades didst accord
accredited ancient authenticated creatures bored
(with...

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Homey eyes of peasant stew
A cozy-colored mossy mew
Stony cottage, snowcheeks bleu
The forest fins for frosted fruits.

The warmest thought speaks crumbly bread
A partridge purr puffs through my head
That grants the grunkest grue a ‘Get!’
To packrat out...

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to say that rumor has it
is to say that the World Trade Center
collapsed silently and cleanly like 
oppositely sexed Siamese twins
who discovered they could mate
I had all channels going full bore
aiming at involuntary insemination
with the...

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He’s a broken leg performer with a crooked second act.
Went from Brooklyn to Las Vegas with his sarcasm intact.
Does a Smith and Wesson stand-up, voice as sweet as antifreeze.
Tells you how he lost his cherry...

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The village air is pristine, filtered and non polluted.
It is from all the germs, diseases and bacteria disinfected.
The country folks are simple, natural, serene and beautiful.
They are unaffected by ego, vanity but are truly cheerful.
God...

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What to Submit?

1 original, poem on the theme of ...Give me your zaniest funniest Poem you can Muster up~~Be Silly 

Cyril Brown

Oh his name was Cyril Brown ,
An he weighed 300 pound,
An the Sand goannas...

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Summer Fairy Land

Beyond mounds,beyond dells,
Thorough thickets,thorough nettles,
Athwart sludge,athwart crag,
Into creek,Unto mist,
I dost err upon the ether crest,
I dost stray deep brine,
Rovering hither and thither,
Forth pasty cloud saddle be,
Soaring swifter than the blazing speed,
Soliciting heaven's shower...

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What on earth did I do to deserve this fate ?
From my insouciance I  awoke much too late.

'Tis to Tomi  now in exile on the Black Sea
Augustus in his wisdom has condemned me.

Julia's...

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quickly removing that 
individual pizza for
one
from its box---all psyched for your night
ahead---
a night alone with movies & pizza and your favorite
beverage
&
no one else to demand anything of you---
yes,
a night for you
&
only 
you---
and yet, 
now as...

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She’s like a boor or a yokel
who knows no boundaries
such a pain in the neck
that makes others suffer.

Her ways is irritating,
like in many instances
where collaboration entails
either at work or in any human endeavor.

She continues to...

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PARANORMAL

   Zeny
   Yokel
   Xeno
   Wizard, Woolley headed
   Voodoo, Vagabond
   Unicorn
   Tyrant
   Stupid, Surreal
   Robot
   ...

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The Plot Against the Giant:

First Girl
When this yokel comes maundering, 
Whetting his hacker, 
I shall run before him, 
Diffusing the civilest odors
Out of geraniums and unsmelled flowers.
It will check him.

Second Girl
I shall run before him,...

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