Long Woozy Poems
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Woozy the witch fuelled up her chrome studded besom
Which was parked in the garage at the Cromlech at noon
She polished dusted and oiled the vintage broom’s motor
And applied magic spittle to fix butterfly wings and a rotor
Filled the hydraulic suspension with liquefied fairy dust
Serviced the turbocharged engine to ensure its robust
To weather belligerent storms and spells of bad nature
She made sure that bristles complied with Wiccan legislature
The Aberystwyth Magician’s Convention had been updated
To secure that tail twigs and seat were unicorn plated
Also that camshaft and pistons were organically manufactured
So when Celtic crosses adorned the chassis it became enraptured
Her lover soul-wizard had called for nocturnal cohabitation
High up in the sky so there was no room for any cunctation
She was the proud owner of a caravan feather duster model
With floor heating and magic carpets for passionate cuddle
They had to be careful though as not to inflate the air cushions
With too speedy pushing and pulling there might be repercussions
Not entirely slowly either because romping in a lay by in standstill
Would get them a parking ticket and the vehicle to go downhill
For that very purpose they had enlisted a strong busy bee elf
So when the chronometer ticked forward and rested on twelve
They came together with the help of sandalwood aphrodisiac potion
Holly jelly completed the feast when they changed tempo and position
The morale of the midnight star spanked romp is easily told
Take care of your vehicle and follow precautions when bold
Life is too short to have interrupted coital climax and pleasure
And thus you must adhere to abracadabra if you treasure your leisure
13th October 2019
Akanji Michael Oluwasayo,
Celebrate today, it's yours
Darling, you must not stop
Keep pushing, aiming top
Even when you forget notch
Keep an open eye to watch
The mile window of your soul
Remember to make it whole
You must not wane
Keep on for the gain
Freeze not for the pains
Like frozen ice maintains
May you not live to work forever
While working to live whatsoever
Come what may your bio's tale
May you never fail as you sail...
Through God's earthly test
Be simple at grace's best
Aduragbemi Deborah,
World is your oyster
Keep the pearl out of its shell
A cool account- how time fell
Farewell may be bittersweet
Journey anew off its heat
And remain loyal to the Crown
Reminiscing it would be fun
Summon up your gracious spirit
Abiding in Almighty's top secret
Never disregard Christ saving blood
No matter how tough is life's flood
Thy face is a real beauty
O perfection not man's duty
Timed learning its unjust drill
Screaming bills justly thrill
Through God's earthly test
Be simple at grace's best
Quadijah Mojisola Abdulkareem,
When by worth belittled, don't scream
Implore personal conference in His grace
Snub not needful worship course embrace
It is your life's precious hunt
Making off earthly pursuit front
Of less difficulty cum seasonal switch
In its chase, He would treasure its stitch
In Him is your only faith's gain
Fair enough to make sins plain
And give unworthy blessings
No man can cover in dressings
Tell Him, to show you the best ward
To bow thy head for your aging lord
Just don't be too choosy
Pure loving bliss woozy
Through God's earthly test
Be simple at grace's best
I just finished Face Timing with Sunny, one of Lisa and my roommates.
She’s an edgy half-a-laugh, and I can’t wait to see her in person.
Sunny’s a slipa and a seductive gadabout - this poem is about her summer:
She’s a treacherous lover whose infidelities could populate
a city of confessions. Apparently, the streets we ignorantly
travel, are crowded with immediate, sordid, physical wants.
And Sunny, she can see them, like blinking neon bar lights,
feel them, like radio waves the rest of us monkeys miss.
Does she seduce the Waffle House waitress (in the restroom),
the professor (in the closet), the Urban Outfitter salesgirl
(dressing room), the dental receptionist (supply room),
the bar girl who rejects everyone else that hits on her
(backroom), or do they seduce her?
“How do you know?” I asked her once.
“I know,” she said, nonchalantly purring like a big, Serengeti cat after a kill. Now, you might ask - it’s legit - how do I know these trysts are real?
Well, at school, she brings a different girl to her room almost every night.
They pass through our common area quietly, on the way to her room.
And, like you and all of us - she carries a camera - and uses it.
Her cloud archive is an erotic, deep dive into a hidden America.
Flipping through it leaves me breathless, and I’m not fem-facing.
If she sold it to ‘The Getty’ they’d have to open a new wing.
.
.
Songs for this:
i wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red
Lava by Still Woozy
.
.
half-a-laugh = someone with a biting humor
slipa = a crazy girl
fem-facing = a girls-girl, a le-boy, a lesbian
I watched you slowly disappear
pacing restlessly back and forth
warbling off-key through the
woozy blackness of a day
I watched you glide upwards
through the slender keyholes
quivering and sun-cloaked
towards the edgeless seasons
I watched you unfurl with rapture
rummaging the vast firmament
ill-famed for your cinder face
corralled and vaulted
I watched you smile in epoxy
at every wake and burial
you made weather off your skin
mostly smooth and neon-colored
I watched you sink in every rivulet
amidst the mountain ridges
and your incandescent eyelashes
creeping upon the timid animals
I watched you blast off to nowhere
becoming a zero, a ransacked town
only a replica of your blank self
a free sacrifice to destroyers
I watched you eat your cotton candy
heading home to fictive horizons
your limbs so flabby and tired
your eyes full of dismissal
Four legs quiver
like clumsy cabrioles
striking smooth gray rivers
of zig-zag sidewalk barrios
in rhythm with happy shivers
syncopated on a muffled drum
as we talk and stroll
On our way
hand-in-hand
we persuade and pretend
this day away
taunting and cajoling to demand
laughing “hide and seeking”
chasing and skedaddling
poking and peeking
like cuddly pandas
or canoodling otters
splashing and clambering
We roll and meander
impetuously twiddling all the way
atop gregarious green promenades
we pause in slight delay
as we prattle and prance
as we dance to the Crickets singing
nodding to their fiddling
frolicking with all the jiggling
Serendipitous stalks
of snickering flowers pop
to dazzle and razzle our wits
we glide in stripes of candy bits
of rainbows bright
Purple painted paisley
fragrantly flairs in pairs
of scented lavender sweetness
among black-eyed daisies
dusting the woozy air
in a meadow’s billowing bloom
sunflowers sunbathe in costume
We giddily tarry
as we carry
a feast of fancies and treats
artsy bits of charmed delicacies
filled with a peck of upcoming kisses
enticing fantasies that wink
Snuggling shenanigans lead us astray
as we find our rootie-tootie hideaway
hugs as we shy away
from tomfoolery jesting
to lay down and swoon
looking up at the soon to be stars
lingering for the coming of the moon
Murmurs of Starlings
gaggle their harmonies
of chirps
in cheeks and broadened beaks
thrumming tiny melodies.
Swallows sweep and woo
fixated on this unabashed swain
through songbird strains
announcing a shrilling review
broadening in sweet refrains
“I love you…I love you”
Fingerpainting the Monet sky
puffy white cotton words appear
from clouds passing by
while tiny violins spin in the air
piccolos peep
pigeon-toed Doves coo and weep
their contentedness to appease
trailing off the pleasant breeze
I fall upon my knees
My words explode to strew
like a thousand storms set free
“I love you…I love you…I love you”
On vacations you tend to gain weight,
Finding luscious, rich foods on your plate.
Add to that, extra drinks,
Plus desserts and methinks
Many people with this can relate.
And, though meals were a source of delight,
Coming home, all your clothing feels tight.
Buttons pop, seams may rip,
Zippers struggle to zip
Since you couldn’t resist one more bite.
Yet if somehow you’ve given a ride
To a sickness like Covid inside,
You’ll feel woozy and spent
And, though not your intent,
You’ll discover your appetite’s died.
So the upside to being infirm,
Which, experience lets me confirm,
Is that nothing remains
Of the pounds someone gains
On vacation, all thanks to a germ!
Aunt Ethel said to Uncle Fred,
Let’s attempt the starfish in bed,
Old Ethel insisted,
Till Fred’s back got twisted,
They best stick to sleeping instead!
Original poem by Jan Allison
Fred couldn't stand and was writhing in pain
Ethel was mad and looked on with disdain
So he took a blue pill
Then went in for the kill
And now performs like a stallion again...
But the blue pills power started to wane
As Ethel begged him to do it again
But things came to a stop
Poor Fred started to flop
So they gave up and cracked open champagne...
Then Ethel got hold of a book
Fred fainted when he had a look
Twas the 'calmer suture'
Some poses may suit her
But Fred said it made him feel crook
Aunt Ethel said Freddie my dear
You truly have nothing to fear
Cos tonight’s the night
Much to my delight
We’re swinging from the chandelier!
Old Fred said I don’t understand
Your desire’s got right out of hand
If you want so much sex
Go next door and see Rex
He’s the randiest guy in the land
Aunt Ethel said you’re being silly
At aged ninety I’m no young filly
I still want to have sex
With you and not Rex
Cos Rexie’s got a tiny Willy!
The champers made Ethel quite woozy
Fred’s shattered so he had a snoozey
They were awoken at four
T'was Rex from next door
No thank you said Ethel I'm no floozy...
Collaboration with Tom Cunningham
06/02/21
Innocence - a peck
on the cheek and holding hands.
Dressed in Mayberry white,
snow pearl in France,
Anna stands out at the Eiffel tower.
At first tongue, oh the tangle
embrace. Anna’s falling for
a Parisian accent; as a poet says
Where should it be placed?
Oui! Oui! He has a golden tongue.
She’s falling for his charm.
Innocence- a peck
on the cheek and holding hands.
Marcel holds her hand. Marcel
pecks her cheek. Marcel, her first
love. Starry-eyed as he makes
for her lips. Sexy comes unaccented.
She’s meant to be kissed.
He parts her lips with gentleness;
with the reverence of a rolling “r,”
she’s frenched. Her knees lose
their grip. Woozy with electric stars,
Anna lights up the lady of iron.*
8/27/2021
Anna and the French Kiss
Sponsor: Mystic Rose
*Iron Lady - nickname for the Eiffel Tower
The tower lights up at night.
We drove in two separate cars a few miles along the ocean shore
I am not afraid, life has been depressing, I just don’t care anymore
We turn down a pebbled driveway, with lion statues guarding the gate
I am shocked when I see us approaching an old Victorian mansion estate
Frank gets out of his car, his blue eyes bright and with a smile on his face
He tells me he just inherited this mansion and is busy renovating the place
He takes my hand as he leads me up the granite steps and into the foyer
He tells me he has a case in town, and has also been working as a lawyer
We walk through a marbled living room and into a nautical themed den
He tells me he has lived here since May as he inherited the mansion then
He then tells me that he has known about me and is distant cousin of my ex
I start to let my guard down, even though I am not sure what will happen next
He looks into my eyes and smiles, takes my hands and gently kisses me
I enjoy his kisses and let him embrace me closer, not feeling afraid only free
He leads me upstairs to his master bedroom with a view of crashing waves
I am so amazed and elated, but I need to slow down and not give in and cave
He takes my hand and leads me out through the French doors to the balcony
We sit in antique wrought iron chairs while sipping wine, just like a fantasy
I suddenly start to feel very sleepy, woozy and faint, not sure what is going on
He then carries me to his large bed, lays me down and the curtains are drawn
I wake up the next morning, realizing I am naked under the covers in his bed
Trying to remember last night, as I start to worry with some feelings of dread
Relieved, I hear Frank coming up the stairs as I start to relax and calm down
But instead an older woman walks in and stops and stares at me with a frown
I am shocked, I ask her who she is and if Frank is here somewhere downstairs?
She tells me she’s the owner, Frank was a contractor hired to do some repairs
She’s been scammed, the job’s not done and Frank's gone with all his tools
I feel a tear run down my face, as I realize I was played and now a gullible fool
11/2/19 The last and 4th part of The Distant Shores Series
Anything You Want Contest
Judged and NA'd on 11/2/19
Writing Challenge - December - Any poem NA'd in November 2019
Sponsor, Dear Heart- Wiishkobi Ode
Dr Doom: Well Reed, we meet again, and excuse me for putting your dear ex to sleep, or she'd use her powers to conjure that defense shield that would make capturing the "Eccentric Four" a bit more tiresome.
Mr. Fantastic: Well, Doom...
Dr Doom: I'm a doctor! The only real doctor around here.
Mr. Fantastic: Oh, quite right. Your four years report card, hmm?
Dr Doom: Are you forgetting where you're at? We are not in a classroom listening to some old fool babbling on and on and...
The Human Torch: Oh, you mean like what you are doing now old man, or is it, old fool!
Dr Doom: You smudgy little butane you!
The Human Torch: If you hurt my sister, I'll... oh sis you're up, are you ok?
The Invisible Woman: Just a bit woozy, but I'll be fine Johnny.
Dr Doom: You'll do what!
The Human Torch: Huh?
Dr Doom: You said that if I hurt your sister, you'll do ... well, what, what were you going to do?
The Thing: Well, if he doesn't do it, then I will!
Dr Doom: Will what! I'll what! What is it that you guys will do? Who do I have here? The Fantastic Fools!
The Human Torch: You'd better watch out, don't get my buddy Ben mad, ... or he'll get STONED.
Mr. Fantastic: Ready Sue.
The Invisible Woman: Yes Reed.
Mr. Fantastic: Ben now!
The Invisible Woman: Johnny, quick!
Dr Doom: Huh, where, who, when, what?
The Human Torch: You forgot the "how"! Ready Reed.
Mr. Fantastic: Yeah, I got him. Get on board our ship and fire it up!
Dr Doom: Ugh, Let go of me you Rubber Duck!
Mr. Fantastic: You mean, Doc, as in doctor, right, Sucker Loon! Okay, guys, here I come. Speed away, Ben!
The Thing: Okay, and away we go!
The Human Torch: Woo Hoo!
Dr Doom: I'm all tied up, get me out of here!
Speaker: The men just ended their shift and we will be back tomorrow to untie you sucker, I mean doctor.
Dr Doom: We? What do you mean we?
Speaker: We all joined the Space Union yesterday. I know you're mad doctor, so after we untie you tomorrow morning, I will have a Grievance form ready for you to fill out. Oh yes, you would will need to initial and sign that form, but you needn't worry, I will have it highlighted ... then it'll be easy on the eyes, okay. Bye doc.
Dr. Doom: I'm a doctor, not a duck ... AHH!