Long Stash Poems
Long Stash Poems. Below are the most popular long Stash by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Stash poems by poem length and keyword.
Not the bee box! Grandma would say
We heard it each time we went to stay
She had something in there precious for sure.
We knew to open it would feel impure.
Our parents would caution, “Don’t go near that box.”
I thought it held a monster with sharp teeth of a fox.
When grandma passed in twenty-twenty
We had lots to sort out, I do mean plenty.
“Let’s open the bee box,” my sister whispered to me.
I said “Let’s wait for the other siblings” – there are three.
Our brother was the last to come in the door.
It was midnight, we could not wait any more.
We ripped that box open and stared at Grandma’s stash.
That old woman was a pot smoker, and here was her hash.
We laughed ourselves silly, my cousin got sicker than sick.
We could not believe this was our grandma’s trick!
The cats had a rather slow day
So they went to the yard to play
All over the ground
Were nuts to be found
Before long, they had too much to weigh!
The porch, not the best place to keep
A large store of nuts in a heap
The local tree rats
Said, “what’s up with that?”
Swooped in to see what they could reap.
The squirrels saw the pile as a boon
Like a cache of Spanish doubloons.
To get such a stash,
Without using cash,
They’d be ready for winter real soon!
In the morning, the cats were in shock
At the sizable dent in their stock.
It was their belief
That they’d found their thief
When they dusted for prints with some chalk.
Well, they soon confirmed their suspicion;
Their sleuthing had come to fruition.
They watch the thief flee
To a giant oak tree
While committing walnut sedition.
At the oak tree, the rat turned and sneared.
Then his tree mates all joined and they jeered.
The gauntlet was thrown.
For honor! For home!
That’s when things took a turn for the weird.
So they fashioned a ready-made sling
From some swimsuits and elastic string.
With walnuts for bullets,
Gat loaded, Bat pulled it,
And launched at those squirrels with some zing!
The cats really pressed the attack;
It was non-stop noise: rat-a-tat-tat!
They were popping those squirrels
When our hero cat girl
Said, “I think we just gave our nuts back!”
Bat and Gat then felt a bit silly
Didn’t noodle this out, not really.
When you fend for yourself,
And store up your wealth,
Your brain’s a bit more like fusilli.
Bat and Gat learned a lesson on greed;
The experience planted a seed.
A hero first grade
Is quite often made
By sharing with others in need.
GARGANO CRIME FAMILY CONTINUES TO CONTROL RACKETEERING MURDER AND MAYHEIM FROM THE ITALIAN MAFIA IN AMERICA UNDER THE GARGANO CRIME FAMILY OF MILWAUKEE CIRO GARGANO CONTROLLING GOVERNMENT OFFICES EXTORTION BEING SWEPT UNDER MY WEARING WIRES PREGNANT FOR THE FBI OVER THE MAFIA ARSON MURDERS RESULTING IN THE CAR BOMB IGNITING MY SKULL ARSON MURDER OF NINE PERSONS LITERALLY MASS MURDERS THE SHEER BULLYING INTIMIDATION FROM GAMBINO CRIME FAMILY SENDING ME THREATS FROM JOHN GOTTI JR. ENFORCERS ATTEMPTING TO EXTORT MY AMERICAN POETRY TO FEED INTO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FROM JAMAICA RESULTING IN SEVERE IDENTITY FRAUD JAY JHORE JOHNSON HER MOTHER TONI PERPUTRATING IDENTITY FRAUD UPON MY SPACE THREATENING MY MILITARY FAMILY HERE IN AMERICA SENDING ENFORCERS FROM PUGLIA ITALY TO CONTROL THE AMERICAN MAFIA AFTER CIRO GARGANO MADE HIS BONES WITH THE ANTHONY BIERNAT MURDER IN WISCONSIN WHILE CIRO STILL CONTROLS THE MILWAUKEE MAFIA THE GAMBINO FAMILY COLLECT A PRETTY PENNY FROM ALL THE FAMILIES THEE SHEER EXTORTION ATTEMPT OF MY AMERICAN POETRY HERE IN AMERICA I NEVER DREAMED MY DISABLED WRITING WOULD BE SCORE FOR THE MAFIA BIG GIANT POWERHOUSES TRYING TO EXTORT MY POETRY ABOUT MY PANIC ATTACKS AFTER SURVIVING WEARING WIRES PREGNANT FOR THE FBI GETTING CIRO GARGANO MAFIA CRIME BOSS PRISON TIME CUT HE ACTUALLY GATHER HIGH RANKING ASSOCIATES TO IGNITE A CAR BOMB INTO MY FACE FINALLY EXTORT MY TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY CLAIM TO LAUNDER THE MILWAUKEE DRUG STASH AND SEVERAL HIGH RANKING JAMAICAN CARTEL
GOD BLESS AMERICA
You’ve got student loans, an overpriced car, and a house,
bought a big boat for you, and the scalpel for your spouse.
Had a good job and your portfolio was rocking,
each day was Christmas, now there’s a hole in your stocking.
There’s a hole in your stocking and your life’s falling out,
your self-esteem has faded and has left you in doubt.
You search for a way out, but all the exits are blocked,
you can’t pry open the windows and the doors are locked.
All the doors are locked and now all your bitcoin has crashed,
and you’ve spent all the money that you had in your stash.
Boss man told you, sorry but we’re forced to let you go,
but don’t worry son, you’re gonna be fine don’t you know.
You will be fine you know you’ve credit cards for spending,
but the rate is too darn high on what they’ve been lending.
You’ll never sell your house because the market has crashed,
you’ve been trying really hard, but you know you can’t last.
You’ve been trying so hard, but the mortgage due is past,
you can’t get off the track and the train’s coming too fast.
No way to ever get out of a hole dug this deep,
maybe if you’re lucky you won’t wake up from your sleep.
I know I am getting old,
But I have not put making a budget on hold,
And the theory does not leave me cold,
As my marbles point to it being worth its weight in gold
Yet counting marbles I don't own,
is letting me down,
Making me feel like a clown,
As I try to get rid of a frown.
I have sought all sorts of advice,
On how to get my head out of this vice,
So my budget can include some rice,
But all the feedback was not nice.
Maybe counting the number of fingers in my pie is beyond me now,
And predicting which day my bank fees are due,
I longer know how,
I even must factor in penalties somehow,
Which has left permanent wrinkles on my brow.
What with that and covid -19 making the cash,
I have managed to stash,
In value, about to crash,
As cards now only way to get some potatoes to mash,
No wonder I am breaking out in a rash.
I had planned to make a lash,
Out of a curtain sash,
To give to my favourite politician in lieu of cash,
But saw some women dressed in leather at his door holding a more expensive
lash,
That, suggests my budget blues will not be solved by acting rash,
And I will have to wait til covid -19 has done its dash,
Hoping I am still around with my cash,
When those holding on to plastic will no longer have potatoes to mash,
And my budget blues will be gone in a flash.
I can explicitly explain just how I like it done.
Or, flip the script to make you feel like a woman.
Getting all up in you, without taking a break.
Hitting the spots that haven't been hit in days.
Sneaking up on it, and surprising that ass.
Spanking it like it was my private stash.
Raising up like a man, giving it what it needs.
Feeling the fire of how it lives and breathes.
Massaging your body through every nook and cranny.
Throwing a party absent your bra and panties.
Taking you places you've never gone before.
Making you scream while begging me for more.
Breaking you down to the imp degree.
Causing you to yearn for no one but me.
Stroking and teasing 'til you're hot as an oven.
Be ever so pleasing with some luscious loven.
Conundrum
In this sad world of pain and dark dismay;
Each sundry soul has his own price to pay.
For life's sweet favors we must pay the sum.
Both for today and all the days to come.
Winners and losers we must forever be.
How much we win or lose we soon shall see.
Some lose money or in matters of the heart.
For love and money from the fool depart.
Some lose their freedom, others lose their friends.
I in consternation find, that I lose pens.
Some lose socks, or combs or petty cash.
A careless junkie might misplace his stash.
Though I read the good-book and keep down my sins.
However hard I try, I lose my pens.
Some lose elections battle worn and sore.
Some play the market and end up very poor.
Bankers and agents give them out for free.
Yet alas there are no pens for me.
To sign a check or write some wisdom quote.
To make a list or send my love a note.
Nice ones, cheap ones, they are all the same.
They are gone as quickly as they came.
Winners and losers, we and all our kin.
I am a writer, sadly, I lose pens.
“One word frees us of all the weight and
pain of life. The word is love.”
….Sophocles, Greek Poet
I asked the stars languishing high above
to reach into their lovely, ancient cache
to teach to me what the world knows of love
I thought, perhaps, a secret lover's stash
But, no, the words left behind flowers' hue
instead returned my question back to me
the world today has but a bitter view
how can you seek love in such misery?
It's true: we've just forgotten how to love
yet, I know love lingers in baby's smile,
a hug, a laugh, friendship's welcoming glove
Perhaps love is simply resting a while.
Sometimes a gentle push is all we need
to watch love flower from a single seed.
April 28, 2024
Xxvi+ marriage anniversary (mine)
recalls first disastrous
date with future missus
approximately waltzing
matt tilde two dozen
plus years ago
Tex Mex Connection
201 E Walnut Street
North Wales, Pennsylvania, 19454
every entree included beans
maybe refried or otherwise
effectively laid siege
mine delicate constitution
quickly felt bloated
ready to explode
ala Hindenburg Airship
rushed out restaurant
like bat out of hell
twofold purpose accomplished
desperately needed
to eliminate gaseous buildup
airing banal courtesy
yours truly as kapellmeister
aired rendition, viz Die Fledermaus
for sphincter muscle
hence, faster than Usain Bolt
dashed out front door
plus needed to tap MAC
inadequate wallet stash cash
thus, aye hightailed to nearest ATM,
or rather courtesy rectal explosion
blasted lovely gaseous body
analogously, effectively, gravity free
whizzing, whirring, whining balloon
a bit far afield
incidental bank woe
gastrointestinal directive resolved
forced effort taxed derriere
all told alight propulsion
natural gas fueled
lovely bones within flash
far surpassing long held
Guinness Book world's record
Jackass the ripper former
flatulence champion claimed,
nonetheless I safely landed far
from madding crowd
analogous pulling pin
out hand grenade
gluteus maximus burnt to crisp
necessitated immediate diversion
local drug store
purchased preparation H
discreetly patted, palmed, pacified
scorched cheeky bum
suffered first-degree burns
hemorrhoid cream balm
alleviated buttuck blasts fallout
quickly reunited with my gal
slightly concerned about whereabouts
related personal anecdote
tuckus thru remains of
otherwise humdrum hours
concluding asinine antics,
where approximately
half past monkey's ass
driving lass back home
found me exerting effort suppressing
recurring rumblies in domain tumbly.
Posterior script:
the above account
unsolicited plug for satisfied patron
asper jumpstarting behind the times
car rear ring buttuck blaster beastie boy.
2200 E High Street
Pottstown, PA 19464
Upon making a purchase,
yours truly murmurs bonjour
to the man/woman clerk
manning cash register,
(perhaps another day)
maybe soon as tomorrow
January twenty four -
two thousand and twenty,
I will explore
Moonlight madness sale
fifty percent off all merchandise
across the expansive floor
after getting weary and footsore
snagging garments for near future
return home to stock wardrobe (mine)
satisfied with basement bargains galore,
aye attest bang for buck heretofore
wearables specially bought with difficulty,
née impossible mission finding clothing
to fit this hunchback named Igor.
Rather than pay top dollar i.e.
as prestigious patrician wag
hashtagged with extremely
high price tag
(think chic boutiques)
uninviting to token
garden variety scalawag
(i.e. namely yours truly),
who feels more at home
attiring himself courtesy ragtag
garments, particularly scant legal tender
jangling within me threadbare moneybag
plus deformity drawing
less stares when I lollygag
(matter of fact many "Zerns people")
populate said very affordable - egad
even amiable animals
amble along to stash their feedbag.
Impact on very limited budget
affords me more bang for buck
upon locating rare find,
I feel analogous to lucky duck
quacking and fluffing tail feathers
scouting around for usable goods
another shopper did finish
with thence did huck.