Long Shattered heart Poems
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To tell the truth,
I was no fan of opera, in my youth...
When did it come...? That turning point....?
I do not know, ........
perhaps I grew, to understand...
a wrenching tale his stories told
can grab the heart... ...grip fast ...and hold!
Puccini came, from out of nowhere
It finally made more sense to me...in spite of those who scoff, and shake their heads
Alive once more....this man long dead
has stirred my soul, ........and I was lead, into the clouds, where heaven lives!
I became a fan, ...and realized, such music lives within the blood
It rushes in, and floods my veins, just as it did to those so long ago
An aria... then a divine duet....Rodolpho and his sweet coquette
connects me to a vine entwined,
with those who listenend, long before my time.
Sitting in the dark tonight, I pause to think
who would have dreamed
how tears in the eyes, have formed a thousand rivers?
Long through the ages, still coiling with emotion
devotional artists, sing of such rapture
into the rafter's to countless reception...
A lover's kiss, the singing with prose
Skins turning cold....from the chill beauty holds
Tears to unfold, hypnotic poses
A bliss such as this
has left generations.... breathless
As the curtain is closed........ I must compose myself
Old music that echoes, as it has for centuries
bouncing off these walls....as I'm torn into two....
mingling with my heart, the old with the new
The rafter's of time, have absorbed one more time
Two tragic lovers, declaring in song
Throngs have been sung to.....hearts have been wrung
I listen, I watch, as lovers fade from the light
in poignant beauty, drifting away...
...........dying in the distance, ........
as will Mimi,
leaving her love behind....alone with a shattered heart
as death tears them apart
leaving my eyes brimming over
with tears in the dark
_________________________________
"Music By Puccini"
If I start all over again,
This time, will you fall in love with me?
If I play your favorite songs,
Will you find yourself lost in me?
If I call you for an evening tea,
Will you come with a bouquet of roses, carefree?
If I buy red bangles just to see you smile,
Will you wear them with pride, even just for a while?
If I wish to share my thoughts with you,
Will you stay a little longer and listen too?
If I start all over again,
This time, will you fall in love with me?
If I start a new,
Will you make me your habit too?
Your voice, I adore,
Will you sing me your favorite songs once more?
I want to watch the setting sun someday,
Will you walk beside me for a few steps that way?
I get lost in my tangled thoughts,
Will you untangle them when my mind knots?
If I start all over again,
This time, will you fall in love with me?
If I start anew,
Will you stay this time, not bid adieu?
I'm not used to having someone always near,
Will you change my habits and calm my fear?
If in anger, I tell you to leave,
Will you hold on, even when it’s hard to believe?
If I sulk over little things,
Will you be the one to end my sufferings?
If I break down and start to cry,
Will you hold on to the fears that make me shy?
I often pause while speaking my heart,
Will you listen to the silence that tears me apart?
If I start all over again,
Will you love me like a story with no end?
I want to sulk sometimes, will you come and coax me back?
When I run away from myself, will you find my track?
I’m trying to fix what’s broken within,
Will you wait for me till I find peace again?
If I can’t hold myself anymore,
Will you stand by me and fight this war?
Let’s just say we start from the beginning,
Will you complete our unfinished story and make it worth winning?
The scars on my heart, that ache and burn,
Will you heal them with your love in return?
If I come closer to you,
Will you erase the distance and make us two?
If I gather courage to place my shattered heart before you,
Will you love me once again and mend it anew?
I wonder, this time when we meet,
Will it be a new beginning, not just a fleeting beat?
But every time I hope for more,
You always end it with a soft "goodbye" at the door.
But still,
If I start all over again,
Will you love me this time...
For real?
Vera Pavlova English Translations of Russian Poems
I shattered your heart;
now I limp through the shards
barefoot.
—Vera Pavlova, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Winter? a beast.
Spring? a bud.
Summer? a bug.
Autumn? a bird.
The rest of the time I'm a woman.
—Vera Pavlova, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Immortalize me!
With your bare, warm palm
please sculpt and mold my malleable snow.
Polish me until I glow.
—Vera Pavlova, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Scales:
on the one hand joy;
on the other sorrow.
Sorrow is the weightier;
therefore joy
elevates.
—Vera Pavlova, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
I walk a tightrope,
balanced by a child
in each arm.
—Vera Pavlova, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
God saw
it was good.
Adam saw
it was impressive.
Eve saw
it was improvable.
—Vera Pavlova, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
A muse inspires when she arrives,
a wife when she departs,
a mistress when she’s absent.
Would you like me to manage all that simultaneously?
—Vera Pavlova, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
You, my dear, are my shielding stone:
to sing behind, or bash my head on.
—Vera Pavlova, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Remember me as I am this instant: abrupt and absent,
my words fluttering like moths trapped in a curtain.
—Vera Pavlova, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
I have been dropped
and fell from such
immense heights
for so long that
perhaps I still
have enough
time to learn
how to
fly.
—Vera Pavlova, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Vera Pavlova is a Russian poet. Born in Moscow, she is a graduate of the Schnittke College of Music and the Gnessin Academy of Music, where she specialized in music history. She is the author of twenty collections of poetry, four opera librettos, and the lyrics to two cantatas. Her poetry has appeared in The New Yorker and other major literary publications. Keywords/Tags: Pavlova, Russian, translation, Russia, epigram, shards, seasons, scales, tightrope, mother, child, arm, sorrow, joy, shattered, heart, broken, glass, limp, limping, barefoot, snow, sculpt, mold, polish
Yesterday I saw you standing there at the curb
With her , The woman you chose to invade our world
Breaking every single promise you vowed to me in pride
Every word I held close within my heart all your lies
The vital lies you used to confuse were used to woo
drawing me closer to you you scensed my uncertainty
got me to drop my guards for you giving no resistance
Only you have taken me to vulnerability that every inch of my
body always feared
And as I watch the two of you holding hands on the curb
You showing her the love that I alone should have endured
Let her steal my love without a care in the world all out in public
I almost vomit in my mouth Unable to swallow im lovesick
I am truly disgusted at you sharing what i valued more than myself
With this scantily clad I dont know what std's she may have had
trashier worthless trampier version of what I look like on my worst day
How could you trade my unconditional love for a 2$ Whore you've picked
a golddigger that looks so thirstay
I daydream thoughts of her looking that happy with her lip busted
Her Holding her fattened lip while you stand in horror as her blood gushes
Will you still stand by her side with that smirk? Or cure your amnesia ?
Realize the horrible mistake and fix us ? Im the one that can please ya
If you were apologetic I would take you back , Promising to earn back the broken trust
Helping to mend Back my broken heart , Together we can superglue the pieces
together again , after you have jumped back inside as i smooth out the final creases
Catering to every want and need you have. Your Cook , your maid , your seamstress
*Beep*Beep* The horn of the Cars behind me Shocks me back into Reality
Back into Hurt Back to Pain and My Sorrow , Back to agony the Jealousy ,
then Rage of fantasies Seasing And being stuck back in the Present ,
I thought we finally had the second chance we need for reconnection
As I drive past I leave alongside My shattered heart on the curb
To stay close to you and miss thang just in case the lust fades
if you ever need a place to stay it will be your shelter in the rain
I drive now no heart ,im empty within ,now merely a void
promise to myself The curb again i must always avoid
Form:
So he told you he loved you, you’re confused but happy knowing he’s amazing.
You ask yourself why he’d even consider loving you but you can’t think of any reason to love yourself. So you just say you love him too, yes you have the feelings but your not sure it’s him or just the fear of being hurt again. You tend to smile every time he texts you, your heart begins to skip when he’s around but tends to break when he’s not talking to you. He calls you beautiful and pretty, he says he loves your eyes and smile your swarmed with butterflies. You’re in love with him but just too broken to accept it. Maybe he’s in love with you too, i mean sometimes you say you can feel his arms around your waist just holding you an pulling you as close as possible. This feeling is what you’ve wanted, it’s everything? So why can’t you just accept his love? Explain the feelings you feel on this blank page as if you were writing a letter to a friend.
Are you afraid? Is this not what you’ve been longing for over the years? Don’t you think he’s the one you need?
I’m afraid of this love, because once i admit i’m in love with him my heart may crumble. I don’t know the way to describe the way i’m feeling so this explanation is all over the place. My heart may be his but is still in it’s cage afraid to move, with fear of him leaving knowing everyone leaves. I say i love him too knowing i truly do, he’s everything and more to me, yet i’m running into the darkness so he won’t know where to find my heart. Losing my grip from the control, knowing every moment i see him the swarm of butterflies will knock my hand causing me to lose this tight grip i’ve held for so long. This whole thing is everything I wanted but yes i’m a little too broken to admit my love for him. I know not to live in fear but he makes me complete an fills almost every crack of my shattered heart even though it’s hidden in the darkness in this cage. Overreacting? Yes maybe but overreacting to protect a heart that has been tortured enough from the past. So no i can’t say i’m in love with him until i know he’ll stay, yes i think he’s the one i need and I’m so afraid to be in love. So here’s my explanation on this blank page that was filled with me admitting my love and putting this whole thing at risk
Form:
I don't know if you realize it or not,
but, as we have discussed previously,
the connection between us,
is rooted in what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
put in our hearts,
and in contact.
Subsequent to my previous
attempts to communicate
with you on this subject,
I have noticed a pattern.
Every other week
I am banished
from your inner circle.
Literally.
Every other week.
I don't know if you realize it or not,
but this creates a pain
that goes to the inner core of my being.
And it is so unnecessary.
The key to peace,
harmony and happiness between us,
was, is, and will always be
contact.
You have so often said
that I am a part of you.
Can you tell me then,
that you do not feel a loss
for each day that passes
wherein you find yourself
purposefully stopping short
of reaching out to me?
How do you think
this makes me feel?
I have adapted myself to many things,
but the thing that I find no solace for
is the loss of your touch.
Please tell me,
What is the price of a hug?
Is it really something you cannot afford?
I do my best to stay out of your way
when you are working on something;
I do my best to not make myself
an annoyance to you.
I wait patiently for you -
having proven repeatedly
that all you have to do is call for
...or reach out to me...
...and I am there...
So imagine my confusion and frustration
the pain that seers through my heart
when you leave me for days on end
without a single touch.
Wallahi you don't even know
the tears I have cried
longing for and missing you.
If I am being punished,
at least tell me what for
...I can't fix what I don't know...
Tonight you suddenly cared
if we prayed or ate together
wallahi...that made me feel
like a battery operated toy
that can be turned on
and off again at whim.
It's not like that
...I am hurting inside...
and I have silently suffered
without any explanation as to why
you cannot even find yourself
...able to touch me.
I told you how I had missed you
and how I had been crying,
sentiments that seem to have fallen
on deaf ears
...or so it has seemed...
because here I quietly sit...
...alone with my shattered heart...
asking myself,
"What is the price of a hug?"
Staring at my reflection in the mirror,
I can barely recognize the person I’ve become.
A stranger stares right back at me,
Boring holes with those eyes,
As she looks into my soul and pierces it with her gaze.
A shriek so loud escapes my lips,
A lump forms in my throat and I swallow way too hard,
Fear grips my heart and I bite my lips in response,
My hands trembling, eyes wide in horror,
Heart breaking apart with every alternate beat.
Tell me, what’s there to admire in a broken being?
What’s there to love and appreciate?
There’s nothing to admire about this stranger I’ve become,
Nothing to appreciate about the countless errors that I’ve become a part of life.
There’s really nothing to love about the person I am.
But, the person I want to be?
The one I dream of, day and night?
She’s loveable, worth appreciating
An epitome of perfections,
Not a mannequin of imperfections... like me.
Then a voice so soft and clear whispers,
Whispers amidst all the chaos in my head,
It takes a moment before I hear the words,
But, finally I did.
And it said:
Don’t say that about yourself, hold on to that string
That binds you to your true self,
The one who’s still there, waiting to be found and loved.
You’re not broken, you’re just a work in progress,
A masterpiece waiting to be completed.
So don’t give up, keep trying,
And one day, you’ll be the person you want to be.
Let the present you dream and future you achieve,
Draw the designs and paint the canvas later on.
For now, just focus on being kind to yourself,
And let your true self shine through.
Remember, you’re not just a person,
You’re a story, still unfolding.
So keep writing your own,
And watch as it unfolds with grace.
I let out a sigh and nod in affirmation,
Ready to become that person I dream of,
One who's brave and strong,
Thoughtful and beautiful,
A being of grace,
A beacon of hope,
A resilient soul that shines brightly.
I’ll pick up the pieces of my shattered heart,
And mend them with love and care.
I’ll rewrite my story,
And make it a masterpiece.
I’ll become the person I want to be,
A person who’s worthy of love and admiration,
And I’ll prove to myself that I can overcome anything.
Echo of Lost Love
In the placid solitude of the night
When stars hum their song around the full moon,
In the heart echo of lost love ignites,
Of love battered by hateful hands too soon,
Shattered by shameful concrete walls of hate
Perchance penned in red in my book of fate.
The echo resonates like hammer blows
In the delicate drum of my hard ears,
Relays streams of tears from my eyes to flow
Like rain water along paths far and near
Inflicts on my heart sordid stinging pains
Lays on my breast tons of sharp stress and stains.
Echo of past moments spent together
Spills deep within me like wild woeful waves
Spurting up like white foam in the ether,
Even should I wish to be bold and brave
Mellifluous words exchanged in the past
Resonate now like springing from a blast;
Echo of shining smiles cherished erewhile,
Piercing the silence to reveal my plight
Now sounds vexatious vinegar and vile
In aftermath of love taking its flight
Leaving a soul at the door of distress
In a well of scary and shrill sadness
Though echoes may resound in mid of night
New strength sprouts up in the face of wild storms
As with coming dawn, darkness takes its flight
And like rivers life flows as per its norm,
With shattered heart, a stronger self arise,
With every lessons learnt, the soul turns wise.
The attire was set ablaze,
Consumed by a mystical haze,
A moment lost in sudden daze,
All sparked by a reckless craze.
He poured his heart in investments,
Joy climbed high with increments.
But wealth, with weighty requirements,
Turned triumphs into bleak laments.
And when the errors made their rounds,
He found himself in ruin’s bounds.
Instead of wins and hopeful dreams,
His world unraveled at the seams.
He set his own attire aflame—
All he’d gathered, all his claim.
Before he even saw the shame,
The ashes whispered his own name.
He traded cauldrons for a bowl,
Chased greed, losing self-control.
Blinded by desire’s toll,
Now stripped and shattered, heart and soul.
Under the sun, his treasures burned,
From riches to rags, the tables turned.
No cloth to cover, just empty strife,
A glimpse of his once lavish life.
The fire took it all away—
Dreams that seemed too bright to fray.
He watched them crumble in dismay,
And tried to fight, but lost his way.
Now peace eludes his troubled mind,
Extinction comes, the ties unwind.
In pools of tears, he finds no rest,
For silly desires that failed the test.
The fire roared and took its prize,
Leaving him to realize
Success demands more than his eyes—
It needs the heart, the soul, the rise.
He got what he wanted, then it was clear,
Desire brings more than it may appear.
Without wisdom or patience near,
He lost what he held dear.
Regret now cools his fiery pride,
He sees his blindness magnified.
Relief? It comes in waves so thin,
Yet the sting still lingers within.
No more crocodile tears to shed,
For no one cares, the cold instead
Will bite and gnaw, his only dread.
His dares have left him hanging by a thread.
They warned him not to take the road
Of selfishness with such a load.
But careless ears turned from advice,
He chased his wants and paid the price.
Now the boomerang swings back,
The song of trouble beats its track.
Remember all the boasts and tags?
Now a weaver stands in rags.
The race is lost, the shame is here,
The path ahead is less than clear.
But maybe, tracing back his stride,
He’ll find the strength he once denied
I see you, more than you understand
Your heart, your soul, its like the perfect book
Your heart it beats and yet you do not live
Why do you resign yourself to such a fate,
A fate, an attempt at life that is such a waste
I know in your heart you wish things where different
Wish the past had not happened,
Wished that your heart did not ache so much
This wish is futile, to wish your heart away is to hide
Do not hide from what enriches your life
You will forever remember this
Learn from these pages in your book
Yet that crippling pain is likely the purest emotion you have felt
I am here staring into you, reading you
I see your soul for what it is,
It is struggling to restore your shattered heart
Your greatest weakness is your fear
You fear for what can be, for the next pain
So many times you have been shattered
Many times broken and defeated
But you must learn to fight back
Learning that pain is only the beginning is the only way
Without this I doubt your heart or your soul will survive
Survive the apocalypse of your life, fate has not ended it
This is after all just the beginning of your future
I beg you to continue your life,
I yearn to read into your heart, mind and soul more
Please forgive my selfishness but I need you to continue
The waste of your heart is too much
The waste of a soul like yours is a shame
I will pass you the string for which to sew your heart
I will pass you each piece, each shard of your soul
Allow yourself time to heal,
The process is only as slow as you make it
Demand your heart to listen to your mind
Falling back into the pit of despair is truly mad
If you allow yourself to fall within its inky depths
Then forever will its dark tentacles enwrap your heart
You have felt the pain now, felt it keenly
Do not fall into vengeance, it is seductive, it is sweet
But it is a short reprieve from the darkness
Take heart, the good die young is what we're told
The better die last.
The best live eternal in their love, for true love is eternal
That love will forever last in another’s hear.
Do not give in to pain,
Do not give in to hate,
Give in to your recovery.