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The Price of a Hug
I don't know if you realize it or not, but, as we have discussed previously, the connection between us, is rooted in what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala put in our hearts, and in contact. Subsequent to my previous attempts to communicate with you on this subject, I have noticed a pattern. Every other week I am banished from your inner circle. Literally. Every other week. I don't know if you realize it or not, but this creates a pain that goes to the inner core of my being. And it is so unnecessary. The key to peace, harmony and happiness between us, was, is, and will always be contact. You have so often said that I am a part of you. Can you tell me then, that you do not feel a loss for each day that passes wherein you find yourself purposefully stopping short of reaching out to me? How do you think this makes me feel? I have adapted myself to many things, but the thing that I find no solace for is the loss of your touch. Please tell me, What is the price of a hug? Is it really something you cannot afford? I do my best to stay out of your way when you are working on something; I do my best to not make myself an annoyance to you. I wait patiently for you - having proven repeatedly that all you have to do is call for ...or reach out to me... ...and I am there... So imagine my confusion and frustration the pain that seers through my heart when you leave me for days on end without a single touch. Wallahi you don't even know the tears I have cried longing for and missing you. If I am being punished, at least tell me what for ...I can't fix what I don't know... Tonight you suddenly cared if we prayed or ate together wallahi...that made me feel like a battery operated toy that can be turned on and off again at whim. It's not like that ...I am hurting inside... and I have silently suffered without any explanation as to why you cannot even find yourself ...able to touch me. I told you how I had missed you and how I had been crying, sentiments that seem to have fallen on deaf ears ...or so it has seemed... because here I quietly sit... ...alone with my shattered heart... asking myself, "What is the price of a hug?"
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