Long Redneck Poems
Long Redneck Poems. Below are the most popular long Redneck by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Redneck poems by poem length and keyword.
Dedicated to Donald Duck
You are greatly admired
By the following
The deplorables
Kellyanne Conway
She will con you all the way!
Adolph Hitler
Joseph Stalin
Mussolini
Sarah Palin
Pol Pot
Vladimir Putin
Saudi Royals
Palestinian boils
Tayyip Erdogan
Rudy Giuliani
Mike Pence
Chris Christie
Fran Drescher
Denis Rodman
Jesse Ventura
Astor Mark Burns the fraud and con artist
Ben Carson, the brain surgeon who lost his own brain
Now that’s totally insane
Bechir Assad
Kim Jong-un
Dennis Rodmam, Kim Dongs boyfriend
Gene Simmons, Kiss my ass
Zoltan Bathory, stop the drugs man
Loretta Lynn a hick with redneck whims
Bruce Willis is an actor and a racist with no car(e)
Jessica Simpson is blonde and maybe Trump hasnt grabbed her kitten
Sylvester Stallone will soon be all alone
Unless Donald is gay then a bromance is etched in stone
Illusions of self grandeur
Fantasies of men born to slander
Trump is a sleaze and con and a fraud
If you buy in, you’re a chump and a sod
Stop and think, stop the drink
You have choices and diverse options
Build bridges not walls
In the end, together we shall all stand tall
Maybe not, then too late, we shall atomically fall
A narcissist and psycho of that it’s for sure
He takes charitable deductions claiming he is pure
As he evicts the poor and mentally challenged
Who voted for him while being tossed out the door
Notes: With rights come responsibilities, although this is always a balance it seems we as a society are very concerned with out rights and much less with out responsibilities. I encourage anyone who truly cares to go and find a book called “Berlin Diary 1934-1941” and read it. First it’s a personal account of the times, and any book that covers humanity and day to day life for me carries a more humanistic weight to the story, however the main point is this. Hitler said and acted very much in the same way Donald Trump does today. That educated men stand behind Trump as well as many uneducated ones, is sad, they are more concerned with their own careers than doing the right thing. Of note, The Bushes seem to have long before it was popular, distance themselves from Trump.
The atmosphere was alive and palpable,
surreal really
as the aegean blue of electrons after a
summer downpour, where the crickets take a short reprieve to zen the petrichor.
The little company looked one to another,
spellbound by the new revelations. "Hillary and the People's Enslavement by China better not try
and hoard my food, buying farmland through
Bill Gates (their dojoboy). Said LizPiggo, "I can't take another hundred or so food processing plant
spontaneous accidents", she added, her jowls
and upper arm fat flapping feverishly.
"Why can't America grow food and fertilizer for Americans!?" With that, Chuck Shroomer and Nancy Mamosi kicked through the door with four ATF cartel members. "Not so fast,
everybody's hands where we can see them!"
"Nice and easy", hissed Nancy.
Penney replied indignantly, "no, it's actually
a home salon blend concocted by my former pimp!",
she shot Silky a look. (Silky understood he was
now HER beach).
"No, you stupid Christian sympathizers, redneck trailer trash! You'll be right at home in my FEMA trailers, haha!" Nancy was smudging her clown makeup in livid possession through pharmakeia. Her dark circles merged with the dark shadows, and also her eye shadows.
Penney fidgeted under the table unbeknownst to
the six traitors before them, pulling a Desert Eagle
out from somewhere. Before flashing
and thus distracting the agents, Penney
had handed the gun over to LizPiggo who
blew the agent's brains out in impending starvation
fueled rage! She was as animated as a Man trying to transition as a Woman at "show and tell"-hour at a grade school!
Chuck and Nancy scattered like cockroaches to
the other rooms then disappeared out into the
darkness...
Form:
You ranted, raved, and lectured us,
for years on the silver screen.
You called us filthy, redneck scum,
claimed our ideas were obscene.
All the while you were raping
naïve, young girls in your hotel,
and yet you dare to lecture us?
Hollywood, what the hell?
You went after a major church,
for doing things they ought not.
You patted yourselves on the back
for exposing all the rot.
But it’s kind of hard to praise you,
and proclaim that all is well,
when you trade teenage boys like currency,
Hollywood, what the hell?
You say you fight for women,
and that we’re unwashed misogynists,
yet you created the casting couch,
and have now gone far beyond it.
You casually destroy and smear
any who would dare tell,
hypocrisy grows well in So Cal,
Hollywood, what the hell?
And those who kept their silence,
who knew this all went on,
who harped about deplorables
in an endless, winging song,
who had no problem with ugliness
drunken from a poisoned well,
so long as big paychecks kept coming,
Hollywood, what the hell?
You scamper to bury it all,
though the illusion has long died.
You continue thinking you’re elite,
ignoring the mote sticking from your eye.
You think this can just go away,
but that’s an impossible sell.
You never lecture us again,
Hollywood, go to Hell.
Rednecks and hillbillies having a war.
They fought and they spit and both were so sore.
It got bloody. There was much ugly gore.
We scratched and we bit just like the folk lore.
Cousin found gold and announced it to four.
Hatfield who ran off to find their own ore.
I scratched him and slugged him, this cousin so poor.
The rednecks ran off, as we hillbillies broke down their door.
So if you think the feud is forever over, and no more,
Remember we McCoys are as ignorant as we are poor.
We will be feud’n and fight’n, until we are sore
Or we chase that other family, for squabbles we adore.
Jumping Jehoshaphat’s! It is a down home true hillbilly hootenanny!
They are jiving and whirling, and the accordion is a twirling!
I run to find my square dance dress which no longer buttons.
My boobs are hanging out like Jane Russell’s but I do not care.
The cousins are in town, and with them that Arkansas whiskey humor.
Grandma is playing the jug, and Brother Willy is thumping his foot like a rabbit.
The hootenanny brings in all the neighbors and we begins swinging and sashaying.
The caller is screaming “toss your partner high in the air!” I get carried away.
Little Louie hits the ceiling and his head splits open. The cousins laugh.
We got a doctor in this house? More laughter. The caller keeps calling.
We keep dancing. Little Louie runs sobbing off to his mama.
She puts a couple of band aids on him and we all keep jiving. The cousins are here!
There’s no greater spiritual healing,
Than planting vegetable seedlings,
And feeling living soil on your hands.
You might get tired from aerating,
Watering, weeding, and cultivating.
A kind of love that’s hard to understand.
There’s just no better money investments
Than organic compost soil amendments,
To improve the structure of your tilth.
Add to that mycorrhizal fungus—
Watch your fruit flourish in abundance,
And feast upon your fresh garden wealth.
To make your garden more prosperous
Dig in some nitrogen, phosphorous,
And potassium rich amendments;
Sulfur, calcium, magnesium
Copper, manganese, molybdenum,
Zinc, iron, boron-- trace elements.
Don’t just plant flowers to please your eyes;
Attract honeybees and butterflies
To pollinate those vegetable blooms.
Whether you’ve got sand, silt, clay or loam;
A garden’s the best part of your home—
Make your gardens your favorite rooms.
Chorus:
Soil’s beneath your fingernails.
Green stains are on your hands.
Your face is weathered by the sun,
And manure’s on your pants.
You might look like a redneck,
But whatever your background…
There’s just nothing that tastes better
Than what you grew from the ground.
Yeah... yeah...
Husband at the tire shop, grease on his hands
Slips out the back, has a different set of plans
Comes home stinking of perfume and lies
Wife a bank teller, counting bills with her thighs
Smiles at the window, takes a number, takes a man
Closes out her drawer then opens hers again
Cheating and bleeding, both spreading the same
Tire shop husband, bank teller shame
Drug resistant in Chickasha like tears in the rain
One man’s mistake turned a whole town to pain
yeah, yeah
Both cheating and bleeding
It’s in the blood just the same
na-na
Husband caught it raw from a north side fling
Brought it home like a damned souvenir ring
Wife took the gift, passed it down the line
Teller by day, hooker by night, showing the signs
He sits on the jack, stares at the lift
Feels his body slow, feels his future shift
She counts the money, body count too
Neither one saying, blood work they knew
Now the husband coughs, tires stacking high
Can’t lift the wrench, can’t look them in the eyes
Still smiling at the window, still taking the cash
Sleeping around, with a wink and a flash
Redneck buddies laugh, don’t know the score
Trailer house talking but the truth’s next door
One shop, one bank, one sickness in the blood
Cheaters dying while the whole town burns down
Both cheating and bleeding, both have the stain
Tire shop husband, a bank teller’s shame
Closes out her drawer then opens it again
Drug resistant in Chickasha like tears in the rain
One man’s mistake turned a whole town to pain
yeah, yeah
Both cheating, both bleeding - na-na
Both cheating, bleeding,
It’s in the blood just the same
Tire shop husband, a bank teller’s shame
‘Twas close to the day when Buba Claus,
His red nose and Bowie knife shining,
Would be off to fill the manly's hearths,
With bacon for their frying.
The ground was bare of snow or ice,
The sky was clear of reindeer.
But Buba Claus was loading his sleigh,
Real high, with good stout Yule beer?
Buba Claus was out in force,
His NRA cronies in tow,
To fill naughty radicals stockings,
With tiny bits of coal.
Cigars dangled from their lips,
A spittoon he placed by their feet,
And, before the sleigh rose off the ground;
They tossed in another side of beef.
Each carnivore, they laughingly swore;
Would have their fill this year,
And Bambi blanched as He flew by,
While Teddy Bears ran in fear!
Over New Canaan His courses flew,
Past the homes of vegetarians;
And down their chimneys they did toss;
The views of Libertarians!
And when the last haunch was placed,
Upon the spits of the mighty,
His spat his cud of gnarly gum,
Into the spittoon real tidy!
Then he flew off with a Ho, Ho, Ho,
And, not the ones for plowing
Cause Buba Claus had his own ideas
Of all Santa’s sissy endowings!
I’m a white redneck poet, who hails from the North
Many of you know me and the morals I bring forth
I may not look friendly or dress all that nice
But if you come to my door hungry, you’ll get my last slice
I love the outdoors, I love to have fun and fish
I’ll never judge your sexual orientation or how you chose to dish
I have two perfect sons who shine in any crowd
One is gay and one is straight, and they both make me quite proud
Whether you are black or white, transgender, gay or straight
I will respect and love you unconditionally and never berate
I love my dogs, my boys, my guns and my wife
If you bring harm to any one of them, you’ll be risking your way of life
God made us all in his image, no afterthought
There is only love in his heart, hate there is not
He is all knowing and perfect, he makes no mistakes
He created each one of us, and none are fakes
Smoke drifts from the smokestacks
On dark and gloomy days
Just before the first rains of Summer
Crates are collected and stacked
And thrown onto the conveyor belt
So they may disappear into the fortress
A robot sings songs of yesteryear
And humans simply stand by and observe
Give these jeering men some credits
Lest they starve without work
With their blossoming bellies
But they sure love Conservatism
Starving mothers fling underweight babies
Into the jaws of an unforgiving sea
Because they can't take care of them
But neither could they spare them
Remember when a wise man once said
Elections have consequences
A tower is built slowly from the ground up
It starts off small but becomes massive over time
Just like petty rants from the bird's nest seem small
Until they collect over time and form dogma
An entire generation tainted by evil
And the devil himself is blushing
Alas drown your sorrows at the beach
And swim in a sea of glittering garbage
Because this great sea sure does flow
Where thriving cities once stood
But now they reside deep underwater
Entombed by science denial
And for every peace loving Christian
Is one who spreads dissension like disease
Who thrives on stapling gays to the cross
As if it were 1965 in the redneck south
And in truth every person who lets it happen
Is just as guilty as the transgressors
When the good lord said love thy neighbor
Could he have known they'd cast the first stone
Upon all the liars and all the sinners
Just peel apart the jowls of the maiden sinner
And find the seven deadly sins cowering
From a man dressed in a burlap sack
Patience for appeasers is something I lack
And as I rip away the images of this distorted future
I look to the future in two years from now
And I just hope deep in my heart we've had enough
Because at first 2016 gave me a future to believe in
But now Morons Are Governing Again