Long Pumpernickel Poems

I AM A COUCH POTATO
By Roy Merritt

I am a couch potato, but not russet, red or white
I’m the kind of potato that sits up late at night
And I watch the TV shows the shows I...

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It’s that time of year again...
When family and friends gather together..
To share and give thanks for all that they treasure..
The young and the old, the tall and the small..
The Vegans and the Carnivores, come one...

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When a writer lacks 
verbs and nouns 
he's the victim of 
writer's block. 
His mind may house 
too many consonants, 
too few vowels. 

Without vowels, 
his consonants congeal
and become a mass. 
The result is
verbal constipation.
The...

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Proud pirate flag, peacock, pumpernickel pie,
Perfumed prairie pinwheels, paper two-ply.
Happy hanging homebody having healthy hi.
Heaving hitting heartfelt Harry hopping high.

Ballooning blissful blossoms beaconing blue Babe,
Luxurious lumberjack licking lemonade.
Merry mashing marshmallows mysteriously made.
Fine frolicking French frankfurters...

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When I was old enough, my mom
Would send me to the store,
Specifically, the bakery,
For treats I did adore.

But first, I had to ask them for
A rye bread they would slice,
With seeds, of course, or else
A...

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I'm so bored with winter
Waiting for the thaw
That I spread mayonnaise on the ceiling
And Parkay on the walls

Chicken salad on the chandelier
Tuna on the couch
A sprinkle of some bacon bits
Straight out of the pouch

Grape jelly...

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Golden streams from a silver plain
Watering ruby ans emerald grain
Flowing past ivory cities
And amethyst clouds of rain
Yes, that's what goes on inside my brain

Blue and yellow splashes on red
Swirling across the blackened led
A flat cold...

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Little lavender lumps of lollipops
poke platinum pumpernickel
and pea-green pomegranates
with a bright blue tomato touching
the pink pineapples painted
on a double-drawered dresser,
creating cockamamie cravings 
for fire flaming red ice cream
on a checkered coconut cone
with winter white watermelon
juice...

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I went out sailing on Sandwich Sea
With my motley crew of make beliefs 
In a boat of pumpernickel with masts of cheese
Mustarding our courage  in a spreadable breeze

We watched peanut butter jelly fish swimming...

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Freshly baked warm spinach bread
all nutrient packed
and sliced up thick for grilled cheese;
a tasty delight
for those colder nights
oozy cheese,
yum!

Tasty pumpernickel bread,
tuna salad spread;
mustard, mayo, pickle too;
chases away blues
awakens palate
ready lunch,
good!

Potato bread croutons in
a nice green...

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I pity those who can’t eat bread
But opt for gluten-free instead
For sourdough with hardened crust
And slathered butter is a must.

A bagel topped with lots of seeds
Is all a body really needs
Or onion rolls that softly...

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Sometimes I seem to muddle through* somehow
but English "muddle" cannot outline
a Russian sin split in two parts, a dao
divided into yin and yang, a whine
of lonely hummer in the lack of sickle,
a German bread without...

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Night Light 


The last visitor before I sleep
is always the old priest
puffing up the stairs to my door, 
a wine cask under each arm, 
a loaf of pumpernickel in his teeth.
He’s always too late to...

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The last visitor before I sleep
is always the old priest
puffing up the stairs to my door,
a wine cask under each arm,
a loaf of pumpernickel in his teeth.
He’s always too late to give the last rites,
and...

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The sign read, "Just a nickel
for every party pickle
to buy some pumpernickel."
The wait in line did trickle.

For tasty party nibble-
place bread upon the griddle.
For sure, they did not quibble-
was their fun time to giggle!

"Come one...

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Kookaburras
are found in Australia,
they are not pretty birds
with a lovely call,
but racous enough
to mistake it 
for laughter, or even screams of amusement.


Kookaburras
love to ride kangaroos,
and sometimes
they hang on their tails,
so they make them run faster...

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I love any bread with seeds -
Bagels, rolls or rye,
Pumpernickel, crusty loaves -
They all will satisfy.

Caraway and sesame
My appetite will spur;
But poppy seeds, above all others,
Are what I prefer.

Some cakes and muffins, even scones,
Are dotted...

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They bake the bagels fresh in Fairway*
In the public eye.
I rarely pay attention
Even when I'm passing by.

The pumpernickel bin was bare, though;
Nothing else would do.
I asked the baker rolling dough
If, possibly, he knew...

When there would...

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