Long Love for him Poems
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Proverbs 8:17 (KJV) - I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.
Before the sun crosses the mountains,
Slightly misty just beyond the seas –
There is a passion rising up in my spirt,
A need to chase after the fire, the brilliance
Of the One who silences the wind,
Glistens in the stars and remembers that my
Peace abides because He lives, because
He survives the darkest dread, the doubt
And the despair that create such fear in my head
Before the sunlight reflects the dew glittering
On the leaves, embracing the skinny branches,
Healing the soul with a colorless beauty,
A breathe of richest peace, silencing the darkness
Erasing the worst storms with a powerful
Beauty, a recollection of the sparkling stars,
Shimmering beyond the reach of a heart who
Only remembers the ache, the torturing touch
Feelings, both woeful and willful, urging
My soul to reach out to the One who colors
The entire world in a serenity that flows with light,
A brilliant stream of His paradise – whispering…
Before the morning kisses my cheek, there is a
Sense of the reflections brought to life by Him,
His gentle truth, His sacred reach into my soul
Where I sincerely believe – He is my reason
He is my hope – He makes a way through the sorrow,
He fills me up with a desire as I reach toward the fire
The passion that He stirs when He breathes love
Through the aching spirit that sighs freedom into
The prison of my doubts and fears, erasing the worry
Wiping away each tear with the assurance
That He is alive, inside, where He covers me in grace
That abounds and tears down every wall,
Each sorrow is released to the stars and the
Worst memories, the worst of the past…
Is gone like the hardness that once lived in my heart
He is a good, good God – and my love for Him
Is a love that says, “He spreads His laughter, His
Music, His breath of kindness and creativity…
Through my soul, where I know – I can always be
Certain that He is ALIVE and He is giving me a
Promise of the future, when I’ll be with Him in paradise –
Thanks to His greatest blessing, His greatest sacrifice…
The reason that I’m able to know Him like I do –
Because of His death and His rising – I can know the
Meaning of life, the meaning of love, the meaning
That draws each breath into a smile with that RISING SON!
This is about a man whose name is Jesse
Born In Kansas and raised in Missouri
Was called to fight for his beloved country
And assigned to defend an outlying territory
Jesse fought as hard as any American would
For freedom and democracy he did everything he could
For Uncle Sam, even in danger steadfast he stood
Believing in his heart that everything will turn out good
He was with the Death March in Bataan
But he was helped to escape by his special someone
Josie was the name of this special woman
Who walked along with the March since it began
It was in the territory that he met Josie
A woman whose dad was from Cincinnati
The two fell in love cause they had chemistry
They had their first child in nineteen forty three
In forty four he was again captured by the Japanese
He was already sick cause he caught a disease
Was taken to a prison camp and placed under lock and keys
In the end the harsh conditions led to his demise
Josie tried to look for his grave but failed
She couldn't do anything and in sadness she wailed
There were reports that he died in the hell ship as it sailed
But to get proof to the true cause of his death we have failed
Jesse died in January of nineteen forty five
Stories about him that Josie told kept him alive
In the heart of his descendants his memories survive
Love for him in their hearts continues to thrive
But every time I go to bed and close my eyes
I see his face and think of the truth that I despise
My whole body stiffens and I get as cold as ice
Sadly thinking that still, in an unknown grave he lies
NOTE
(For my grandfather US Army 2nd Lt. Jesse C. Boak of the 33rd Infantry
Regiment, who was declared MIA in WWII. His body was never found and true
cause of his death was never known.His name is listed in the Tablets of the
Missing at the Manila American Cemetery and on a Memorial Monument at the
State of Missouri
Grandpa even though I never got the chance to really know you I will always be
proud of you-JEB)
JESSE C. BOAK
2nd Lt. US Army
1917-1945
Awards: Silver Star, Bronze Star, Purple Heart with 2 Oak Leaf Clusters
When Spring’s soft murmurs broke the stillness of the rolling hills,
He took his guitar outside to welcome days of daffodils.
His music wound throughout the pines in greening melodies,
The gypsy lady heard them and was stirred to fantasies.
Across the daisy meadow, his tunes reached out to her at night,
On his front porch she could see him bathed in yellow cabin light.
He played upon her heartstrings with chords he never planned;
She was his gypsy lady ... he was her music man.
At night, she softy crept into the nearby forest glade,
With moonbeams woven in her hair, she danced the notes he played.
He watched her whirling, twirling form reach out to him in love,
But bound by love to another, he cursed the stars above.
Each night she gathered up his songs in the folds of her gypsy skirt,
Then shook them out as a healing salve for her heart’s deep, aching hurt.
Danced among his guitar songs, wore his music like a shawl,
The image of his smiling face was painful to recall.
When sunny brightness swept across the daisy hills he pined,
While, cat-like, memories of her slipped in and out his mind.
Each night her presence in the glade made him sing a sadder tune,
‘Cause he belonged to another; she belonged to the moon.
She danced throughout his moonlit dreams, he knew his thoughts were wrong,
Though he was bound to another, his heart sang a different song.
She knew she could not have him, his ring showed he was wed,
At night while she lay lonely, he was warm in another’s bed.
Years passed, the gypsy’s youth was gone, but not her love for him,
His fingers stiff, he still played on though her moonlit dance grew dim.
He strummed out songs of passion with a calloused, shaky hand,
She was still his gypsy lady ... he was still her music man.
One April’s eve those piney hills lay bathed in quiet peace,
His guitar sang to her no more, his soul found sweet release.
From the agony of loving her through years of silent pain,
Now daisies pushed up through the sod in a gentle spring-time rain.
With silent gypsy sadness, mourning love’s unkindly loss,
She lay upon his sun-warmed grave, head pillowed by cool moss;
Tears glistened on her grief-worn face, her heart burst from the pain,
In death, she’d be his gypsy lady ... and he’d be her music man.
This is not a dream.
This is not a nightmare neither.
This is reality.
This is life.
And life will not always go the way we want it.
Nothing new.
Nothing special.
Nothing to be thankful for.
Nothing to begin with.
Nothing to look back.
It's my birthday!
How I wish I could make as many wishes as my age.
That would be so wonderful.
I wonder what my wishes will be?
There is nothing I could ever wish for than him.
I could make 22 wish out of him.
But I know I need more than a wish.
I can't watch the star fall, close my eyes and wish that everything would end up
like a fairytale.
Well fairy tales do come true.
But it only happens to a lucky few.
I guess I'm not lucky enough to be one of them.
Or I guess he is not man enough to be my Prince (maybe he's out there looking
for his Prince as well...)
For what ever reasons I feel unlucky in love at all.
Well at some point I am.
They say I am too young to think this way.
I know I am.
But I feel so small whenever I hear kids of my age talk about their love life.
Well I got my own love life to mess around but not too sweet to talk about.
What could be so sweet when all I got was a broken heart and shattered
dreams?
I once fell in love not too long ago.
The memories seemed to vague to me now since I felt a breath of a new love.
I thought that I'd be happy.
But I ended up sleeping with a nightmare in my head.
All the sweet fantasies that I've created in my mind ended with just a few words.
Don't talk to me.
Don't let me talk about him.
For quite sometime I was like a jackass.
I was left with no choice. Well I am always left with no choice.
Letting him go is the only visible option that time.
I knew I had to.
Even though it almost caused me my dignity I chose to be with him.
Even if I know I'll end up hurting myself, I still dreamt of spending my days and
nights beside him.
Even if the world is against my love for him, I did not care.
I had to go through all of these because I thought that someday he would
reciprocate my love.
I thought that one day he would see that I really care for him more than he could
he ever think of.
But I guess I was wrong.
I gave my love to the wrong person.
He will never love me back.
He can never love me back.
Long Ago,
I gave my life to a vision beauty,
And it ruined and blessed my life forever,
I met a taskmaster, who was relentless,
He showed me my sin, sin after sin, and I could barely bare it,
But through it all his still small voice said, “Woody I love you”
And there are moments friend, There are moments, when he opens up the
Sounds of Heaven to me,
And I feel a peace and a joy that are unequaled by any time I could imagine,
Like for instance, today, I preached at one of my best friend’s Churches,
And I preached the theme, when a seed becomes a Storm.
And my friend read poetry,
And my friend arrived in laden apparel,
And it was a like a dream of old, come true forever more,
The Fantastic Four, knocking down windmills and furrowing eternal friendship,
And at the end of the day, my wife and I sat down and cried tears of empathy and
passion and healing to Gridiron Gang,
I tell you this world is harsh,
And so my King must be tough on me,
He must relentlessly remind me of my emptiness and inadequacy,
But in all of his chastening there is the still small vision of a beauty more
captivating than any World Wonder,
I tell you my King is tough,
But beyond his toughness there is a soft still comfort,
And my love for him is so deep in this moment,
I yell and scream at my savior sometimes like a jealous wife,
I curse him out, I dare him to show himself,
And time after time, he responds, “My son, you are beautifully and wonderfully
made and I love you”
I tell you, in his service I have suffered horrors I couldn’t have thought of in my
wildest nightmare,
And yet his protective hand has always been on me,
He is the King of all I tell you,
And I am unafraid to embrace a Buddhist or a Muslim or a Jew or a Hindu as
sisters or brothers,
For I know of my Saviors protective Jealousy,
He does not fear my adultery,
For he is confident,
He nudges me to explore the universe and see him in Vishnu and Siva alike,
And like the Sivites I sometimes say to him, “God where is your mercy?!”
And he answers with such sweet caress,
And he answers with such sweet murmurings,
He is the End and the Beginning of my joy,
He is my coach, my lover, my friend, my King, my confidant, my brother, my father,
my boss, my master, my life, my heart, and I will love him forever!!!
I want to be your guardian.
I want to be your resort when you're at you're lowest,
I want to be the wings to lift you to a safe haven.
I want to be the only existing thought in your head at night before you fall asleep.
I want to be the one to make you happy with yourself.
I want to fold you up and embrace every fiber of your being.
I want to protect you from everything, including yourself and me.
I do not want to be the object holding you back in life.
I do not want to be what you waste your time on,
doing all of the above mentioned things,
when you could be spending your time on meaningful things.
Such as loving yourself.
I do not want you to know as much as you do about me,
my weaknesses, the struggles I face daily with myself and my inner demons.
I do not want you to know these things because I'm scared.
I'm scared of you using these against me some day.
I should be afraid, or at least I think I should,
because that's all that everyone else has taught me to be.
I do not want to be afraid anymore.
Of course I really do want to be what you waste your time on,
and of course I really do want you to know all the things you know about me,
I'm just afraid.
I do not want to be afraid anymore..
I thought being with you would fix me, would mend my broken pieces.
I was wrong. You can help me, but only I can entirely fix myself. I am afraid.
I'm afraid of change, I'm afraid of being so dependent on you.
I do not want to be afraid anymore.
I guess I don't know what I want.
Because the only thing I've spent my time on wanting for the last year at least, is you. Every little thing about you down to the cute little
mole above the right side of your lip. The little hairs that develop on your chin if you don't shave for a couple of days.
Everything about you drives me crazy. You possess all the things I look for in a person
and I didn't even know I wanted all of those things until I met you.
You've treated me better than I ever imagined I deserved to be treated.
I could never fathom I deserved to be treated with such kindness,
because all I've ever known is the hatred from myself.
I don't know what I would do without you in my life.
I'm scared of what would happen if you weren't there.
I do not want to be afraid anymore.
Hopefully, I don't have to be.
So he told you he loved you, you’re confused but happy knowing he’s amazing.
You ask yourself why he’d even consider loving you but you can’t think of any reason to love yourself. So you just say you love him too, yes you have the feelings but your not sure it’s him or just the fear of being hurt again. You tend to smile every time he texts you, your heart begins to skip when he’s around but tends to break when he’s not talking to you. He calls you beautiful and pretty, he says he loves your eyes and smile your swarmed with butterflies. You’re in love with him but just too broken to accept it. Maybe he’s in love with you too, i mean sometimes you say you can feel his arms around your waist just holding you an pulling you as close as possible. This feeling is what you’ve wanted, it’s everything? So why can’t you just accept his love? Explain the feelings you feel on this blank page as if you were writing a letter to a friend.
Are you afraid? Is this not what you’ve been longing for over the years? Don’t you think he’s the one you need?
I’m afraid of this love, because once i admit i’m in love with him my heart may crumble. I don’t know the way to describe the way i’m feeling so this explanation is all over the place. My heart may be his but is still in it’s cage afraid to move, with fear of him leaving knowing everyone leaves. I say i love him too knowing i truly do, he’s everything and more to me, yet i’m running into the darkness so he won’t know where to find my heart. Losing my grip from the control, knowing every moment i see him the swarm of butterflies will knock my hand causing me to lose this tight grip i’ve held for so long. This whole thing is everything I wanted but yes i’m a little too broken to admit my love for him. I know not to live in fear but he makes me complete an fills almost every crack of my shattered heart even though it’s hidden in the darkness in this cage. Overreacting? Yes maybe but overreacting to protect a heart that has been tortured enough from the past. So no i can’t say i’m in love with him until i know he’ll stay, yes i think he’s the one i need and I’m so afraid to be in love. So here’s my explanation on this blank page that was filled with me admitting my love and putting this whole thing at risk
Form:
She fell in love so unexpectedly, there were no warning signs.
Her head kept saying no, but in her heart she knew she would be fine.
She remembers saying she’s never gonna fall in love, but here she is again.
Head over heels sitting on the 9th cloud and forgetting the pasts’ pain.
Days and weeks went by, getting to know each other well.
Months turned into a year, deeper and deeper she fell.
She gained trust and confidence; he gained all her love and heart.
The moment they’re together nothing can tear them apart.
She loved him with all she had, gave it her 100 percent.
Every time he smiled, she knew he was heaven sent.
Materials things didn’t matter, she was a simple girl.
He promised to always love her, she became his whole world.
But promises ended up broken, he played her for a fool.
He got bored of loving her and suddenly he turned cruel.
Two years together and she never stopped loving him.
Never looked at another guy, she knew it was a sin.
But in a matter of seconds, everything came crashing down
She felt the walls close in on her, her smile turned into a frown.
She learnt he was lying to her. Caught him in another’s embrace.
All those late night work trips, instead he was going to her place.
Depression started kicking in, she tried to erase all the memories.
Threw out all his stuff, she cried as she fell to her knees.
He tried to apologize, saying he didn’t know how to tell her.
He wanted to break it off but he didn’t wanna cause a stir.
She made it easy for him, ended the relationship instead.
She lost her trust and love for him, she kept wishing she was dead.
Friends and family comforted her, deep inside she wanted to call.
She really missed him a lot, but she got through it all.
Tears would flow now and then as she would remember special times.
She tried to block it out; it only escapes for a while.
She grew stronger each day, knowing it wasn’t her loss
Constantly reminded what an amazing person she is, an inspiration at no cost.
A year later and he realizes he made a huge mistake
He should have never let her go; the other girl was such a fake.
He tried to reconcile but sadly it’s already too late.
Slowly and eventually her love for him has now turned to hate.
Ive been decieved by my one true love
I was blind to his words of trechury
He went behind my back and layed with another woman
He decieved my heart
I thought i could trust him but now i feel i can trust no man
I did nothing to deserve this kind of heartbreak
Yet he did everything to break my heart
We cannot go back now
And honesty is not his policy
I feel like i am drowning in hiw web of lies
And all he is doing is making sure i sink
I feel weak now and the darkness is surrounding me
I can hear him laughing and enjoying my misery
He knew i wanted a life with him so he decided to kill me
He first started with my heart
He insulted me and my love for him
His words were like a slap in the face or a stab in the back
I did not know that love included such cruelty
An all i have ever asked of him
Was to treat me great and always be truthful
He has not done that
He has damaged my heart
And now i walk around with a dead soul
I feel the weight of this heartbreak all over my body
He hated every word that would come out of my mouth
So i quit talking
He hated my affection
So i left him alone
I love him and yet he cannot stand me
He lied, lies, and will lie to me
And that is how he killed me
In his eyes i was nothing but a neusance to him
He left me to wait on him too many times
I felt i had to wait on him
For i loved him and enjoyed him more than anything
But he did not care.....
He did not want me
Then he blinded me
I saw him and his other woman
Thats when it broke
It broke into many peices and it hurts
With every beat of my broken heart it hurts worse
I saw his arm around her
And how he walked her to his door
I saw them together on his presious couch
And his arm was around her again
He showed me his preference in that one moment
My natural reacotion was to slap him....
What else couls i do ?
At that moment i wanted him to feel the pain i was feeling and much more
He killed me and does not understand why or how he did
He does not understand that this is not love that he is showing me
Love does not hurt all the time
Love does not mean being unloyal
Love does not me lying or disrespect
Love does not mean cheating
His love is not true love
Form:
I’ll praise Him
Through the darkness,
Through the fears and tears,
Through the worries and anxieties,
Through the worst that I might experience
I’ll praise Him
Through the silences,
Through the bitterest defeat,
Through the despair and discouragements,
Through the heartbreaks that bring such sorrow
I’ll praise Him
Through the whispers,
Through the murmurings of doubt,
Through the suspicions and apprehensions,
Through the uncertainties and reservations
I’ll praise Him
Through the dreams,
Through the joy and hope,
Through the beautiful so bold,
Through the kindness and grace
I’ll praise Him
Through the wonderful,
Through the inspirations and bliss,
Through the believing that brings courage,
Through the miracle of His grace, His loving
I’ll praise Him
During the sunlit moments
When the heart needs renewed hope,
When the spirit is downtrodden, desolate,
When the soul needs its burdens lifted, moved…
To give to Him all the praise He deserves
Praise for the serenity and love, the peace from above
Praise for the gentleness of compassion that silences every tear
Praise for the sincerity of a light, a priceless guiding light…
Who brings hearts through the dark, into the glory of knowing
He is there, forever aware – always preparing the way…
For the heart who believes in the One He sent, His Son, Jesus
I’ll praise Him now and forever, with praise that is intent
On offering love that is our most important gift, our greatest
Contribution to the One who makes a way to see the light of day
The ONE who is light and who brings grace that saves – forever
He is always worthy of the love that we offer, the praise that we pose,
The worship that is His even when we don’t know how to show Him…
Our love for Him, the One who makes life worthwhile, the ONE
Who shines His light through our lives, so we can surely survive…
And someday reach out to Him from our heavenly abode, that home
Beyond beautiful, beyond hoping for, that home of love from the One
Who gave us this hope for eternal life – because of His marvelous sacrifice!
1 John 5:2 (KJV) “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.”