When Fairy Tales Fail

This is not a dream. 
This is not a nightmare neither. 
This is reality. 
This is life.
 And life will not always go the way we want it. 

Nothing new. 
Nothing special. 
Nothing to be thankful for. 
Nothing to begin with. 
Nothing to look back. 
It's my birthday! 
How I wish I could make as many wishes as my age.
 That would be so wonderful. 
I wonder what my wishes will be? 

There is nothing I could ever wish for than him. 
I could make 22 wish out of him. 
But I know I need more than a wish. 
I can't watch the star fall, close my eyes and wish that everything would end up 
like a fairytale.

Well  fairy tales do come true. 
But it only happens to a lucky few. 
I guess I'm not lucky enough to be one of them. 
Or I guess he is not man enough to be my Prince (maybe he's out there looking 
for his Prince as well...) 
For what ever reasons I feel unlucky in love at all.
 Well at some point I am. 
They say I am too young to think this way. 
I know I am. 
But I feel so small whenever I hear kids of my age talk about their love life. 
Well I got my own love life to mess around but not too sweet to talk about.
 What could be so sweet when all I got was a broken heart and shattered 
dreams?

I once fell in love not too long ago. 
The memories seemed to vague to me now since I felt a breath of a new love. 
I thought that I'd be happy. 
But I ended up sleeping with a nightmare in my head.
 All the sweet fantasies that I've created in my mind ended with just a few words. 
Don't talk to me. 
Don't let me talk about him. 
For quite sometime I was like a jackass. 
I was left with no choice. Well I am always left with no choice.
Letting him go is the only visible option that time. 
I knew I had to. 
Even though it almost caused me my dignity I chose to be with him. 
Even if I know I'll end up hurting myself, I still dreamt of spending my days and 
nights beside him. 
Even if the world is against my love for him, I did not care. 
I had to go through all of these because I thought that someday he would 
reciprocate my love. 
I thought that one day he would see that I really care for him more than he could 
he ever think of. 
But I guess I was wrong. 
I gave my love to the wrong person. 

He will never love me back. 
He can never love me back.

Copyright © Desiree Gapuz | Year Posted 2006

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