Long Lawmen Poems
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In Sherwood forest where big oaks grow
There lives a band of outlaws
They roam the forest with their long bows
With arrows ready to draw
In an attempt to put the rebels in a jam
A lawman comes up with a plan
He is the sheriff of Nottingham
And he has kidnapped maid Marian
This news quickly spread to Robin Hood
The leader of this outlaw band
He fights for justice and for good
Her freedom he demands
But the sheriff refuses to let her go
Until Robin Hood gives up
But Robin replies with a resounding no
Cause he drinks from victory's cup
Then Robin's men surround the place
Where Maid Marian is being held
The sheriff and his lawmen brace
for battle, but they will soon be felled
Then arrows fly as lawmen fall
And maid Marian is soon rescued
And Robin Hood now stands tall
The hero from the forest of Sherwood
When asked to write Limericks about ladies
I said, "Oh, no. There's no way in Hades!"
Too many are my friends
I'd have to make amends
Not even for a brand new Mercedes
Then, I gave the matter a bit more thought
And chose women closest to my heart
The ones in Milton Creek
Five who are quite unique
All lovely women who are very smart
Jan holds ownership of the Manx Saloon
Where two lovely ladies sing a fine tune
It's where Milt played poker
But do not provoke her
Jan has been known to throw a mean spittoon!
Tania now runs the bakery in town
Her Whiskey Whoopie Pies are world renown
Come to Kitchin's Kitchen
She might let you pitch in
to help her make the best pastries around
Deb manages the Manx with extra care
No outlaws allowed, so you'd best beware
If you're packin' a gun
Or maybe on the run
She'll call the lawmen and they'll be right there
Two recently hired ladies fit right in
Caren tends bar, pouring jiggers of gin
Anne-Lise is the town flirt
Servin' drinks in ruffled skirt
Fine ladies, living at Aces with Lin
There's a few others at the Bordello
I hear one's sweet on a certain fellow
Maybe just a rumor
A tale told with humor
The Creek's calm enough to hear cows bellow
Residents will keep it free of all spats
No bad hombres who'll be wearin' black hats
More ladies will arrive
Our little town will thrive
Mayor Tom will have more to say 'bout that
The roaring twenties prohibition.
Left violent crime to seize the day.
An act of folly, no forward vision
Of curbing crime, and their ambition
To supply hard liquor, and disobey.
The roaring twenties prohibition.
Failed to prevent, what was tradition.
A paradox says that,'crime does pay'.
An act of folly no forward vision.
Corruption is blind no opposition.
The 'cotton clubs' were there to stay.
The roaring twenties prohibition
Was needful then for more attrition
And fighting crime, without delay
An act of folly, no forward vision.
Until the lawmen gained submission.
Who was to blame? Society will say,
The roaring twenties prohibition.
An act of folly, no forward vision
3/ 2/ 2015.
Peeking through the hotel keyhole
I start seething, I begin to see red
There’s a strange man taking MY role
I can see them both romping in bed
I decide I must act really speedily
Don’t have a moment to spare
Activating my plastic room key
I see his white bottom, it’s bare!
Aiming my gun, I shoot both in the head
Blood stains the rug, it splatters the wall
It ends their affair, that love rat is dead ...
I’ll plead guilty when the local cops call
The gunshots draw lawmen to the door
Cops soon arrest me, they take me outside
My wife’s out there, she’d been at the store -
She’d let our room to a groom and his bride!
SLAP THE MUSE AND TURN IT LOOSE CONTEST Judged 2/13/19 - poem got n/a
12/31/18
Continued From:
4. Billy, the Kid
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poems_poets/poem_detail.aspx?ID=195852
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Yes he did kill but it was a justifiable sin.
If Billy hadn't killed them they would have killed him.
Some say he killed for vengeance but that was never his means to an end.
If he killed for anything it was for Justice for the murder of loved ones and friends.
Many don't speak of or even know this, but back then this is what all who knew him saw.
Legally sworn Deputy William H Bonney, sworn to uphold the law.
Billy was once a bonified lawman with full authority to issue warrants and make arrests.
He could kill in the line of duty without fear of prosecution, imprisonment or arrest.
The Law Was Sworn First To The Lawman To Ultimately Serve And Protect.
Billy was one of many lawmen known as The Regulators.
They were law that Lincoln County would not soon forget.
Many today also jump to the conclusion that Bonney was Billy's birth name.
He actually didn't begin to use the name Bonney until a few years before he was slain.
Where the name Bonney came from
is still the unanswered question that continues to remain.
This issue alone has been known to drive historians insane.
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To Continue Go To:
6. Billy, the Kid Part 3
http://www.poetrysoup.com/poems_poets/poem_detail.aspx?ID=195848
The sheriff saved the puppy and pocketed him.
His deputy laughed; was this a trick or a whim?
I think he’s going to be a buddy; let’s call him Jim.
I am actually taking this puppy to my friend, Tim.
Tim Henry, the one who solved the Templeton case?
Oh, yes, and you can come if you keep up the pace.
The puppy got down and gave both a merry chase.
They finally caught him, but it was quite the race.
How soon can we get there? Asked Deputy Trotter.
The darling puppy was panting like a thirsty otter.
I think I am keeping this pup for my granddaughter.
Said the sheriff, pouring into a cup some water.
Those scientists, they have no clue
I’m doing what they will not do
I’m gonna scramble nature just for you
My cat’s mixed with a chicken
And it isn’t finger lickin
But now my cat goes cock-a-doodle-doo
I took a bold and risky leap
Stirred up a kangaroo and sheep
Good luck sorting that out Miss Bo Peep
But when you take a sheep or two
And mix them with a kangaroo
You make a lovely woolly jumper too
My dog’s mixed with a garden snail
So now my dog can catch it’s tail
The crocodile was added for a lark
The postman isn’t happy
’cause my crocapoo is snappy
And now his bite is far worse than his bark
Rotors stuck on elephants
Although there’s little evidence
Seemed to be a clever thing to do
You’ll need an iron brolly
Which will cost a lot of lolly
If an Elecopter does a massive poo
The whales they are not suited
To our seas that are polluted
So I lassoed a giraffe with an old rope
I mixed it with a great big whale
So now between its head and tail
The whale has got a built in periscope
The lawmen just came knocking
And they said my work was shocking
They brought a scientist who said Tut-tut
These creatures you’ve amended
Simply cannot be commended
So, did somebody mix you with a nut?
He watched his mother, his mentor and three of his best friends
die right before his eyes.
His mother died of TB very slowly,
and when she slipped away he was there at her bedside.
John Tunstall, his mentor, employer and very close friend,
was riddled with bullets by a gang of corrupt lawmen,
right in front of him.
His pals Dick Brewer, Tom O'Folliard and Charlie Bowdre,
were all murdered in the presence of his company,
and yet despite all of the violence and all of his tragedy,
his outlook on life was always cheery.
Never dwelling in his dark past or present miserably,
always looking towards his future joyously living life fully.
How the hell did you do that William H Bonney?
I have suffered far less than he,
and yet I'm a miserable SOB who avoids everybody.
I wish I knew your secret William H Bonney.
As much as I admire you, I also sometimes feel envy.
God is not happy
He is furious
Nineteen lawmen standing in a hallway
While nineteen fourth-grade students get slaughtered
With an automatic rifle
Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam
Children who are texting for help
Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam
Children who are as helpless as their teachers
Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam
God sends his wrath into Uvalde, Texas
In the form of a storm seen at no other time in history
The souls of the students watch this display of anger
They had known it was possible
But never before had a front row seat
It happens, their angels tell them
Not often, but sometimes
Especially in the USA where money means more than children.
The lightning strikes are loud; the thunder is fearsome.
Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam Bam
John Tunstall was Billy the Kid's employer, friend and mentor.
He was an honest businessman and entrepreneur.
"It's as if there isn't anything he won't do to try to impress me,"
Mr Tunstall would say of Billy quite regularly.
"I'm going to make one hell of a man out of that kid one day,"
he would also go on very proudly to say,
but such a promising life for Billy would never come to be.
Mr Tunstall was murdered most savagely
as Billy witnessed the event helplessly
off from a distance of relative safety.
There wasn't anything he could do. There were just way too many
lawless lawmen pumping gunfire into poor Mr Tunstall's body.
Under John Tunstall's guidance,
Billy would have had a much brighter future for sure,
but John Tunstall's murder sparked an event that would one day be known
as The Lincoln County War.
and Billy's second chance for a better life got altered once more.