A Fistful of Truffles

There are Guineas that live in America Guineas that live in a zoo But the craziest, zaniest guineas of all Are the ones that reside in Peru It is said that they live in the Andes And on weekends they invade the towns Putting everyone there in a happy affair And ridding its people of frowns They usually start early evening About six as they ride into town On a big herd of disgruntled Llamas While sporting handmade bridal gowns They greet everyone they bump into They Happy-Slap folk with high 4’s Wearing Rhinestone encrusted sombreros Make their way through the Saloons front doors Banditos had ambushed a posse High on the Mesa Magill 20 lawmen laid low without warning Not a plot now remained on Boot Hill Annie Bartels the belle of the local saloon She was packing them in by the score The sweetest of voices enticed them Twos and threes as they skipped through the door The Gruffest of garelous gangsters Curley Tales and his Outlaws rode in Claiming Annie as his for the taking Wearing Wyatt Burps badge made of tin In the shadows, two strangers deal Stud Sitting there minding their bacon The burly Bandito before them They could see, was a swine in the making ‘She’s singing my song dude’ he hissed A whisper from Ham Peckinpaw The Tin that you’re wearing ain’t legal That makes this a town with no Law Ol’ Curley, enraged by the stranger Used Annie to hide, as he drew Unfazed in the cold face of danger Sitting calm as the bullets they flew The bullets flew thick and were heavy As they peppered the Dodgey Saloon The quiet one drew fast as lightning Sending six on the right to High Noon Not a whisper was heard on the wind As he moved with the grace of a cat Six more Bandits fell all in a row As Ham Peckinpaw lifted his hat Now only Bold Curley remained Annie slipped from the hem of her hat Two hair pins as sharp an as shiny Protruded where Curley Tales sat That bandit departed in haste He howled all the way outta town Every time his horse cantered below him Its took six months before he sat down It’s drinks on the house for the locals Shouts Porter the DODGEY TOWN Mayor Then Tucks into a full bag of truffles As our heroes, he watched disappear That wild night would ring out forever In the local newspaper Pig Pen How our heroes turned tail on the bandits Was sung of and told time again