More Zany Headlines

More Zany Headlines Actual newspaper headlines taken mainly from http://www.alphadictionary.com/fun/headlines.html Poem constructed by Elton Camp Let us hope that they will soon decide: “Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide” Surely safety standards this abridges: “Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges” We surely expect that the voltage won’t be as large: “Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge” Before you eat, give them whacks: “Kids Make Nutritious Snacks” This headline is certain to make you laugh: “Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half” The community was shocked when this they read: “Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead” Not enough training the following suggests: “Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests” It’s a disease of humans one assumes: “Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms” As Abel got from Cain: “Man is fatally slain” The warning should be sounded louder: “Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder” When she’s sick, she’ll be lots more fun: “Never Withhold Herpes from Loved One” His honor should someone impeach? “NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach” Surprises seem they will never cease: “Children Alleged Shot by Police” Headline writers easily get into quite a plight If what they compose doesn’t come out right