Long Keaton Poems

Hold the phone, hold the freakin’ phone. Lisa’s got a boyfriend!
I’ve never seen Lisa with a boyfriend. Lisa draws men like fireworks on a dark night, but I’ve never seen her keep one. I mean,...

Read More

There was a time between the two when things were so great
One day, she didn't show when they had a date
He stood on the corner waiting in the rain
The lonliness, the heartache, the pain
He hired...

Read More

Well, here I am again, with my tales from the night before.
Just when you thought you heard it all, here I am with more.
Remember back in “one” of the tales I told to you,
Well please...

Read More

THE ALMONDS INCIDENT

We got back from our power walk
about an hour ago
After changing clothes, she sat on the
sofa with a fizzy juice cocktail and her
novel of the week
Remaining in the kitchen, I brought out
a bag...

Read More

The Keystone Cops were funny,
Chaplain, Keaton, Lloyd, and Fields too.
Laurel and Hardy, and Will Rodgers,
Were just some of the names we knew.


Who can forget the Stooges, 
Or all the pies we saw them throw?
Who didn't...

Read More

The Keystone Cops were funny
Chaplin, Keaton, and Fields too.
Laurel & Hardy and Will Rogers
were some of the names we knew.

Who can forget the Stooges
or all the pies we saw them throw.
Who didn't laugh at the...

Read More

IF LOVERS WE
(To Julia)

``		If lovers we, you and I, who would we be?
		W0uld we be William Powell and Myrna Loy,
sophisticates, trading alcoholic quips across the dining room?
Would we be Abelard and Heloise,
lovers doomed, she to...

Read More

I’ve seen this silent movie reprise:
lips moving, but there’s no sound
Listen, listen only with your eyes,
Rudy Valentino is speaking now
Lips moving, but there’s no sound ...
fact projectors are taking a break
Charlie Chaplin is speaking now,
telling...

Read More

Not only is Juliette Lewis an attractive actress, she's also one of the greatest female
rock stars since Mia Zapata. When she's on the stage with her band, all rock/indie rock
fans are really amazed. Juliette's not...

Read More

Check the slam between P.D. and Green
Bunch of Girls trying to act all mean.
One question to Green your rap sounds like you wiped it on your sleeve
While smoking dope and combing out your $1.50 e...

Read More

Success of self named pens in Europe 
Made the U.S. the next best niche
Marcel Bich dropped the H in his name
Afriad they would call it a Bitch

Michael Keaton was running wild
In the title role in...

Read More

A Scene from Laurel and Hardy

Like a scene from Laurel and Hardy,
Slapstick and comical beyond belief.
Legs dangle from bedroom window,
His head stuck, shouting for pain relief.
 
You’d swear it was Buster Keaton,
Or Charlie Chaplin in...

Read More

I am watching the comedy channel;
I have had it on all day.
Watching Chaplin and Keaton
And Laurel and Hardy at play.
I laugh out loud at their antics,
Though I’ve seen then...

Read More