Long Hookup Poems

(Historical train-ride on the first Transcontinental Railroad in 1870 from Omaha to Ogden aboard the Union Pacific Railroad)     © 2009 (Jim Sularz)


I can hear the whistle blowing, 
two short bursts, it’s...

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KETTLERS RESPONSE
KELP... WE WANT TO BRING IN TO THE INTERVIEW AREA
THE ONE AND ONLY: THE WORLD FAMOUS
" THE KETTLER" PIPPA GRATERY.. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
GIVE HIM A ROUND OF APPLAUSE.
( PAUSING TO LET THE CROWD RESPOND)

KELP......

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Why is it so interesting when someone else falls in love?
Is our fascination purely voyeuristic, like the you-are-there of reality-TV?
Is it jealousy or some unwavering belief in lovers as heroes?

What is this relationship? We ask...

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I’m still flying high in the sky
Because I have my friends
In this place I’ve found grace
No rules I need to bend

Without a doubt it comes out
The evil from within
Times it’s hard to forget the yard
Glad...

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Temporary InSlamity
                 

Two a.m , still awake, gettin’ leg-shakes 
Gaggin’, burnin’ on my mis-slam-stakes 
Tryin’ to win some judge...

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When at night so late 
I put up courage to say hello
And got stocked up waiting 
Hoping you will pick up
But all ended in mistrials

When at night your shyness dictates 
You think walls have ears...

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Outside it’s breezy and twenty degrees
in here the air feels humid and still
the floor’s elbow-to-elbow and I guarantee
dance for 40 minutes and the heat can kill

I left the dance floor
fully drenched
we drank at the bar
til...

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(*This piece may have a limited audience - but don’t ALL my pieces??*)

Some of the best advice from my Fro-Co (seniors who volunteer as freshman advisors):

If you’re stuck in your room (due to the pandemic)...

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(a disastrous morning Sonnet)

I am the very model of a girl who’s late for morning meal,
my charger failed, the printer jammed, the morning’s start has been surreal
I lost a scrunchy and a shoe, I had...

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Such a cruel world, we live in.
Everyone's breathing, but some are living.
Romance is overrated; love doesn't exist.
All smiles for the pictures, happiness in chemicals—
dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins.
What are we, robots or machines?
What happened to...

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It’s rare I find the depths to plumb;
I pen the silly and the dumb.

I don’t scream much into the void
about things with which I’m annoyed.

I cannot rage about my ex
or brag about hot hookup sex,

or...

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Margaritas in a blender,
Sans the lime juice, soon will render
recipes for all-night benders.

It's party time, with fun galore!
Supplies are low; it's time for more.
Against advice, drive to the store,
hit the wall and crunch the fender.

Your...

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The first time you kissed me it was a surprise, I wasn’t ready.
It was a sneak attack, funny ‘cause they say the girl ‘always knows.’
I think we’re lucky we didn’t chip a tooth.

The unexpected slowed...

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A roommate shows me this hookup app - the consensus favorite.

“Call me crazy,” I say, “but if we’re reducing s3x to something 
cheap and cynical, wouldn’t p0rn be safer and easier?”

She frowns, as if I’ve...

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Behold!! The mighty are falling..
In the tempted tunnel of a modern prostitute, who calls herself hookup girl..

Her charming chambers glitters...
Her couch caught mighty men to fall..
Her soul is a servant to Satan's service..

Shamelessly!! 
She walked...

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Planted too late in the season
 they missed the beauty of the Christmas rush
 when evergreens, mistletoe and hollies blushed
but now, with a little soil, water, warm sun hookup
 the amaryllis stretches high and up,
...

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He that trod upon subservient Europe
with the imperial guards' fighting prowess,
did himself and his heartthrob the empress,
entrench thrones jointly owned by their hookup.
He that caused guns to rage on Europe's plains,
and cannons to thunder on...

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